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The Punster's Pocket-book
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Put up to keep us from the London cries,
Which now your sanctum sanctorum environ.
For if I can't be taken in, 'tis clear
I cannot be let out; and that gives trouble.
Ye principal and ancient men, oh! hear!
And let me pass the bar– I'm David Double.
ON A MR. HOMER'S BANKRUPTCY
That Homer should a bankrupt be
Is not so very Odd-d'ye-see;
If it be true, as I am instructed,
So Ill-he-had his books conducted.
WALKING FOR LIFE
On a Gentleman bringing on a severe fit of illness, by an excess in walking exercise, in order to preserve his health
Prithee cease, my good friend, to expend thus your breath;
'Tis in vain these exertions you make:
And to "walk for your life" against sure-footed death,
Is the very "worst step you can take!"
A SPIRIT ABOVE AND A SPIRIT BELOW
On a Methodist Chapel, the vaults under which were used as wine cellars:
There's a spirit above and a spirit below,
A spirit of joy and a spirit of woe:
The spirit above is a spirit divine;
The spirit below is a spirit of wine.
THE UPPER ROOMS AND THE OLD ROOMS, BATH
Two musical parties to Bladud belong,
To delight the old rooms and the upper:
One gives to the ladies a supper, no song;
The other a song and no supper.
ON A LEFT-HANDED WRITING-MASTER
Though nature thee of thy right hand bereft,
Right well thou writest with the hand that's left.
PRINTER'S KISS
Print on my lips another kiss,
The picture of thy glowing passion —
Nay, this wont do – nor this – nor this —
But now – Ay, that's a proof impression.
TO A DOUBTFUL MILITARY CHARACTER
Though much you're scar'd by Mars in arms,
At fighting much dejected;
Yet Venus, with her naked charms,
Has seen you – More-affected.
THE FOUR AGES OF WOMAN
From the French
Woman is
In infancy a tender flower,
Cultivate her;
A floating bark in girlhood's hour,
Softly freight her.
A fruitful vine when grown a lass,
Prune and please her;
Old, she's a heavy charge, alas!
Support and ease her.
THE FEMALE CARD PLAYER AND HER GARDENER
On a Lady far advanced in years, who was a great Card-player, having married her Gardener
Trumps ever rul'd the charming maid,
Sure all the world must pardon her;
The destinies turned up a spade;
She married John the gardener.
THE BENCHERS OF THE TEMPLE
The Lamb and the Horse being their Insignia
The Lamb, the lawyer's innocence declares;
The Horse, their expedition in affairs;
Hail, happy men! such emblems well describe
The specious cunning of your legal tribe:
For say what client can expect a loss
From Lamb-like lawyers, fleeter than a Horse?
No more let Chancery's ills be endless counted,
Since on the Pegasus of Law ye're mounted.
And ye, poor suitors! mark your simple fate—
The shorn lambs ye – that crowd the Temple gate.
ON SIR ISAAC NEWTON
"Some demon, sure," says wond'ring Ned,
Which now your sanctum sanctorum environ.
For if I can't be taken in, 'tis clear
I cannot be let out; and that gives trouble.
Ye principal and ancient men, oh! hear!
And let me pass the bar– I'm David Double.
ON A MR. HOMER'S BANKRUPTCY
That Homer should a bankrupt be
Is not so very Odd-d'ye-see;
If it be true, as I am instructed,
So Ill-he-had his books conducted.
WALKING FOR LIFE
On a Gentleman bringing on a severe fit of illness, by an excess in walking exercise, in order to preserve his health
Prithee cease, my good friend, to expend thus your breath;
'Tis in vain these exertions you make:
And to "walk for your life" against sure-footed death,
Is the very "worst step you can take!"
A SPIRIT ABOVE AND A SPIRIT BELOW
On a Methodist Chapel, the vaults under which were used as wine cellars:
There's a spirit above and a spirit below,
A spirit of joy and a spirit of woe:
The spirit above is a spirit divine;
The spirit below is a spirit of wine.
THE UPPER ROOMS AND THE OLD ROOMS, BATH
Two musical parties to Bladud belong,
To delight the old rooms and the upper:
One gives to the ladies a supper, no song;
The other a song and no supper.
ON A LEFT-HANDED WRITING-MASTER
Though nature thee of thy right hand bereft,
Right well thou writest with the hand that's left.
PRINTER'S KISS
Print on my lips another kiss,
The picture of thy glowing passion —
Nay, this wont do – nor this – nor this —
But now – Ay, that's a proof impression.
TO A DOUBTFUL MILITARY CHARACTER
Though much you're scar'd by Mars in arms,
At fighting much dejected;
Yet Venus, with her naked charms,
Has seen you – More-affected.
THE FOUR AGES OF WOMAN
From the French
Woman is
In infancy a tender flower,
Cultivate her;
A floating bark in girlhood's hour,
Softly freight her.
A fruitful vine when grown a lass,
Prune and please her;
Old, she's a heavy charge, alas!
Support and ease her.
THE FEMALE CARD PLAYER AND HER GARDENER
On a Lady far advanced in years, who was a great Card-player, having married her Gardener
Trumps ever rul'd the charming maid,
Sure all the world must pardon her;
The destinies turned up a spade;
She married John the gardener.
THE BENCHERS OF THE TEMPLE
The Lamb and the Horse being their Insignia
The Lamb, the lawyer's innocence declares;
The Horse, their expedition in affairs;
Hail, happy men! such emblems well describe
The specious cunning of your legal tribe:
For say what client can expect a loss
From Lamb-like lawyers, fleeter than a Horse?
No more let Chancery's ills be endless counted,
Since on the Pegasus of Law ye're mounted.
And ye, poor suitors! mark your simple fate—
The shorn lambs ye – that crowd the Temple gate.
ON SIR ISAAC NEWTON
"Some demon, sure," says wond'ring Ned,
Последний отзыв
Это скорее приключение, чем история. Но читать приятно.