Fruits of Culture

DOCTOR. These good fellows you mean, I suppose?

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Of course. Straight from a diphtheric place!

DOCTOR. Well, of course, if they come from an infected place it is rash; but still there is no reason to excite yourself so much about it.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. But don't you yourself advise carefulness?

DOCTOR. Of course, of course. Still, why excite yourself?

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. How can I help it? Now we shall have to have the house completely disinfected.

DOCTOR. Oh no! Why completely? That would cost 300 roubles or more. I'll arrange it cheaply and well for you. Take, to a large bottle of water …

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Boiled?

DOCTOR. It's all the same. Boiled would be better. To one bottle of water take a tablespoon of salicylic acid, and have everything they have come in contact with washed with the solution. As to the fellows themselves, they must be off, of course. That's all. Then you're quite safe. And it would do no harm to sprinkle some of the same solution through a spray – two or three tumblers – you'll see how well it will act. No danger whatever!

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Tánya! Where is Tánya?

Enter Tánya.

TÁNYA. Did you call, M'm?

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. You know that big bottle in my dressing-room?

TÁNYA. Out of which we sprinkled the laundress yesterday?

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Well, of course! What other bottle could I mean? Well then, take that bottle and first wash with soap the place where they have been standing, and then with …

TÁNYA. Yes, M'm; I know how.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. And then take the spray … However, I had better do that myself when I get back.

DOCTOR. Well then, do so, and don't be afraid! Well, au revoir till this evening. [Exit].

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. And they must be off! Not a trace of them must remain! Get out, get out! Go – what are you looking at?

FIRST PEASANT. That's just so. It's because of our stupidity, as we were instructed …

GREGORY [pushes the Peasants out] There, there; be off!

SECOND PEASANT. Let me have my handkerchief back! [The handkerchief in which the presents were wrapped].

THIRD PEASANT. Oh Lord, oh Lord! didn't I say – some lodging-house meanwhile!

Gregory pushes him out. Exeunt Peasants.

PORTER [who has repeatedly tried to say something] Will there be any answer?

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Ah, from Bourdier? [Excitedly] None! None! You can take it back. I told her I never ordered such a costume, and I will not allow my daughter to wear it!

PORTER. I know nothing about it. I was sent …

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Go, go, take it back! I will call myself about it!

VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH [solemnly] Sir Messenger from Bourdier, depart!

PORTER. I might have been told that long ago. I have sat here nearly five hours!

VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH. Ambassador from Bourdier, begone!

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Cease, please!

Exit Porter.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Betsy! Where is she? I always have to wait for her.

VASÍLY LEONÍDITCH [shouting at the top of his voice] Betsy! Petrístchef! Come quick, quick, quick! Eh? What?

Enter Petrístchef, Betsy, and Márya Konstantínovna.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. You always keep one waiting!

BETSY. On the contrary, I was waiting for you!

Petrístchef bows with his head only, then kisses Anna Pávlovna's hand.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. How d'you do! [To Betsy] You always have an answer ready!

BETSY. If you are upset, mamma, I had better not go.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Are we going or not?

BETSY. Well, let us go; it can't be helped.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Did you see the man from Bourdier?

BETSY. Yes, and I was very glad. I ordered the costume, and am going to wear it when it is paid for.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. I am not going to pay for a costume that is indecent!

BETSY. Why has it become indecent? First it was decent, and now you have a fit of prudery.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Not prudery at all! If the bodice were completely altered, then it would do.

BETSY. Mamma, that is quite impossible.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Well, get dressed. [They sit down. Gregory puts on their over-shoes for them].