The Punster's Pocket-book

10

Cane-a-wry, i. e. Canary.

11

An improvement on this rule was adopted by Dr. Swift, in his "Full and True Account of Wood's Procession to the Gallows."

12

A presbyterian preacher of the last age chose to exemplify the Golden Rule, by dissecting the name of the great enemy of mankind: 'Take away D, and it is Evil, take away the E, and it is Vile, take away the V, and it is Ill—Ill, Vile, Evil, Devil.'

13

The story here alluded to is told in a pamphlet, entitled, 'A modest Apology for Parson Alberoni, Governor to King Philip, a Minor, and universal Curate of the whole Spanish Monarchy, &c. by Thomas Gordon, Esq. 1719,' and is as follows: 'There is, in a certain diocese in this nation, a living worth about six hundred pounds a-year. This, and two or three more preferments, maintain the doctor in becoming ease and corpulency. He keeps a chariot in town, and a journeyman in the country; his curate and his coach-horses are his equal drudges, saving that the four-legged cattle are better fed, and have sleeker cassocks, than his spiritual dray-horse. The doctor goes down once a-year, to shear his flock and fill his pockets, or, in other words, to receive the wages of his embassy; and then, sometimes in an afternoon, if his belly do not happen to be too full, he vouchsafes to mount the pulpit, and to instruct his people in the greatness of his character and dullness. This composes the whole parish to rest; but the doctor one day denouncing himself the Lord's Ambassador with greater fire and loudness than could have been reasonably expected from him, it roused a clown of the congregation, who waked his next neighbour with, 'Dost hear, Tom, dost hear?' – 'Ay,' says Tom, yawning, 'what does he say?' – 'Say?' answered the other, 'he says a plaguy lie, to be sure; he says as how he is my Lord's Humbassandor, but I think he is more rather the Lord's Receiver-General, for he never comes but to take money.' Six hundred pounds a-year is, modestly speaking, a competent fee for lulling the largest congregation in England asleep once in a twelvemonth. Such tithes are the price of napping; and such mighty odds are there between a curtain lecture and a cushion lecture.' See the collection of Tracts by Gordon and Trenchard, vol. i. p. 130.

14

The Art of Punning was originally printed at Dublin in 1719, immediately reprinted in London, and then pretty generally ascribed to Dr. Swift. It appears, however, that in this instance the Dean was only an assistant; the piece having been written by Dr. Sheridan, and corrected and improved by Dr. Swift, Dr. Delany, and Mr. Rochfort. Although it does not seem calculated to give offence to any one, it however called forth the above Satire from the pen of Dr. Tisdal.

15

The wooden-man was a famed door-post in Dublin.

16

Famous Irish almanack makers.

17

This was literally true between Swift and Sheridan.

18

ANTIQUITY OF PUNS AND ENIGMAS,

By the learned Author of Hermes.

19

The title was bestowed by the Duke of Richmond, then Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, who it is known was not over rich.

20

Jefferies had no beard.

21

Many of these whims have never before appeared in print.

22

The Learned Judge's name.

23

In the ministerial prints Mr. Pitt was usually so designated.

24

Puss, a domestic animal – allegorically a mature spinster —a tabby. – Johnson.

25

The eminent talents of this distinguished artist have been for a series of years displayed in the beautiful scenery produced at Covent Garden Theatre.

26

Alluding to the practice of the members scraping their feet upon the floor when a speaker is considered tiresome.

27

This highly celebrated little book, it will by some be remembered, was written to ridicule Sir John Carr's 'Stranger in Ireland;' and a more happy, witty, original, and pleasant satire, is not to be found in the English language. The book is now out of print, and only to be met with in the libraries of the curious. Had I any reason to suppose that the author (Mr. Dubois), would have republished his work, much as I should have had to regret the loss of these articles here, I certainly would not have taken them to do injury to their own witty and original parent.

28

Anglo fonte cadent, parcè detorta.

So Horace doubtless wrote, and thus I always read the passage, correcting the corruption (Græco fonte) which has so long obtained, to the injury of truth and good letters.

29

The word Emigré, which appears in this article as before printed, would at once destroy the unquestionable right Swift has to the honour of this MS. for Emigré did not obtain in our language till long after his death.

30

This has been given to Foote; but dates decide.

31

Æn. iv. 660.

32

Here I have run my pencil through several puns on the ladies' retiring. Though he says it is unnecessary, Swift could not help indulging the natural bent of his genius, which is a strong proof of the authenticity of the MS. An additional evidence appears in a query in a memorandum made on the margin of this MS. for the puns for a farmer. Some one, who has rye-fields, is to write to him – Pray send me men to mow rye? and he is to return a skull. Memento mori– Don't you see? But query – will mowing rye do for any but our Irish farmers?

33

Memorandum. This joke is recommended, by the surgeons, for all seasons; but, in my system, better arranged, it will be proper to distinguish. In the winter, when the carpet's down, you are glad to bring that affair on the tapis. In the spring, the earth begins to bear every thing. In the summer, it's "summum jus," because it's "summa injuria," and the carpet being up, you give him board with a deal of pleasure, that's plain: and in the autumn, you allude to the fall. Besides, what does he do in a chair – all flesh is grass—hay!