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Romeo and Juliet / Ромео и Джульетта

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Mercutio

Where the devil should this Romeo be? Came he not home tonight?

Benvolio

Not to his father’s; I spoke with his man.

Mercutio

Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline, torments him so that he will sure run mad.

Benvolio

Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet, hath sent a letter to his father’s house.

Mercutio

A challenge, on my life.

Benvolio

Romeo will answer it.

Mercutio

Any man that can write may answer a letter.

Benvolio

Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being dared.

Mercutio

Alas poor Romeo, he is already dead, stabbed with a white wench’s black eye; run through the ear with a love song, the very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s butt-shaft. And is he a man to encounter Tybalt?

Benvolio

Why, what is Tybalt?

Mercutio

More than Prince of cats. O, he’s the courageous captain of compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time, distance, and proportion. He rests his minim rest, one, two, and the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very first house, of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal passado, the punto reverso, the hay.

Benvolio

The what?

Mercutio

The pox of such antic lisping, affecting phantasies; these new tuners of accent. By Jesu, a very good blade, a very tall man, a very good whore. Why, is not this a lamentable thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these pardon-me’s, who stand so much on the new form that they cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O their bones, their bones!

Enter Romeo.

Benvolio

Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo!

Mercutio

Without his roe, like a dried herring. O flesh, flesh, how art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in. Laura, to his lady, was but a kitchen wench, – marry, she had a better love to berhyme her: Dido a dowdy; Cleopatra a gypsy; Helen and Hero hildings and harlots; Thisbe a grey eye or so, but not to the purpose. Signior Romeo, bonjour! There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us the counterfeit fairly last night.

Romeo

Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?

Mercutio

The slip sir, the slip; can you not conceive?

Romeo

Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy.

Mercutio

That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams.

Romeo

Meaning, to curtsy.

Mercutio

Thou hast most kindly hit it.

Romeo

A most courteous exposition.

Mercutio

Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.

Romeo

Pink for flower.

Mercutio

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