Yuletide Proposal

There were very few times in his life that Zac regretted his actions. Yesterday’s plea to Brianna ranked right up there.

He stabbed the button on his phone that paged his secretary.

“Tammy Lyn, would you get me the number of that counseling outfit in Las Cruces, please?” Zac would find his own solutions. Because somehow, he was going to get that state job.

“I will. And I have Brianna’s office on line two. She wants to see you between her appointments tomorrow. Do you have a time preference?”

She was going to refuse. Zac was surprised by the rush of disappointment that swamped him. Had he really been looking forward to working with his former fiancée—the one who’d caused him so much embarrassment?

And why had Brianna run away on their wedding day? Zac wasn’t sure he believed her mother’s explanation that Brianna had realized she was too immature for marriage.

“Zac?” Tammy Lyn’s impatient reminder snapped his daydream.

“Sorry.” He swallowed, firmed his voice. “Three o’clock. I’ve got that board meeting at five.”

“Okay, we’ll try for that.” Tammy Lyn clicked off the intercom.

Zac wondered how Brianna would phrase her refusal. She’d probably try to poke around in his brain first, wanting to figure out what he hadn’t said yesterday. Guilt made him shift uncomfortably.

He hadn’t told her his goal of attaining the state job when she’d questioned his reasons for asking for her help. And he should have. Initiating a program to motivate kids that resulted in higher test scores would certainly improve his chances of getting a job developing curriculum, which sounded pretty selfish. But truthfully, influencing education at a state level seemed to Zac the only viable way he could make lasting changes in student achievement, and do it without the people skills he lacked. Still, when Brianna found out state education was his ultimate goal, she would probably assume he was using her.

Aren’t you? the nagging little voice in his head demanded.

Yes, he wanted her help to change things in Hope. But her son would benefit from the changes here. So would a lot of other kids. It had been incredibly difficult for Zac to return to the scene of his biggest shame, to the place where he’d spent a year enduring whispers and gossip about their broken relationship. But he’d come back because of the vast changes that were possible here. If only he could engage these kids.

On the surface, seeking Brianna’s help seemed stupid. After all, she’d walked out on him, shattered the love he’d had for her when she left him standing at the altar. That love had crumbled to nothing during a year of public humiliation while he fulfilled the teaching contract he’d so stupidly agreed to. But now, ten long years later, they were both back in Hope and the truth was Zac missed the camaraderie they’d once shared when Brianna had been his best friend.

Zac was finished with love. That year in Hope had made him determined to never again take the risk of giving his heart to someone, to never again risk such public humiliation. He’d spent years honing a protective shell that kept anyone from getting too close.

But now he and Brianna lived in the same town, shared the same friends and had a mutual interest in seeing the school do well. Ten years later Zac didn’t want her love. He wanted her help.

Persuading her wasn’t going to be easy.

“Zac?” Tammy Lyn’s intercom voice cracked through his thoughts. “The person you wanted in Las Cruces is out until next week. Sorry. If you could give me that stuff for the board meeting tomorrow I could format it and distribute it today.”

“You’ll have it as soon as I’m finished,” he promised. Mentally steeling himself for Brianna’s negative response, Zac blanked out everything and got busy with his notes for the board meeting. They had to be letter perfect because he was lousy at ad-libbing.

Getting that state job would be the culmination of all he’d worked for. That it might ensure nobody in Hope ever said “Poor Zac” again was an added bonus. At state level he could make curriculum more relevant and help kids learn. That was Zac’s primary goal.

If he had to do it without Brianna’s help, so be it.

* * *

Brianna walked up the stairs to the district school office the following afternoon with her throat blocked. This was probably the wrong thing to do. She was a gullible fool. But she was going to do it anyway.

Two minutes later she was seated in Zac’s office where he had hot tea and some coconut cookies waiting.

“You’re not going to tell me you baked these, are you?” she asked, trying for levity to crack the tension in the air.

“No.” He smiled as he poured out two cups. “Sorry.”

“Thank you.” She accepted her tea, sipped it, inhaling the fresh orangey scent that was her favorite. He’d remembered—another surprise.

“Have a cookie.”

Brianna accepted one and chewed on it while he talked about people they knew who were returning for the Homecoming weekend. But eventually the small talk became punctuated by too-long silences. It was time to get to the point.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said, Zac,” she began.

“I shouldn’t have asked you.” For a brief moment his eyes grew clouded. But then he blinked, and the impassive expression was back in place. “I understand why you have to say no, Brianna. People would talk if we worked together and the gossip—” He rolled his eyes. “Let’s just say I don’t want to go through that again.”

“I’m not concerned about gossip.” She frowned.

“Then it’s working together that bothers you.” Zac rubbed his chin. “I thought—hoped that after so many years we’d be past that and able to concentrate on what’s best for the kids, but—”

“It’s not the past, either,” Brianna sputtered, frustrated that he kept butting in.

“Then it’s me. I understand your hesitation.” He leaned forward, face earnest. “Forget about it. I’ll manage.”

“But—”

“No, if you have hesitations, you should say no.” He sat there, silent, as if he didn’t know how to proceed.

“Actually I was going to say yes,” she said in her driest tone. “But I think you just talked me out of it. I mean, if you no longer need me—”

Zac’s eyes widened. His Adam’s apple moved up and down as he gulped. He blinked. “Pardon?”

“I said I would help you. If you want me to.” His attitude confused her and she hated feeling confused. “Are you regretting asking for my help, Zac?”

“Uh, no. Not exactly.” His carefully blank expression irritated her.

“I know you think I let you down—before.” She met his stare. “I won’t do that again. I promise.”

“This isn’t about the past,” he murmured.

“Maybe not, but our past certainly weighs into it.” She needed to get the guilt out in the open, to deal with it and maybe, finally, be free of it. “You can’t deny we have a history.”

“I’m not denying anything.” His head went up and back, his shoulders straightened. “We made plans.” He shrugged. “They didn’t happen.”

“No. They didn’t.” Because he and her mother had spoiled that. Suddenly it seemed pointless to discuss the past. “So?” Brianna poured herself another cup of tea just to keep her hands busy. “Where do we start?”

“With Homecoming?” He pulled forward a blank pad and wrote the word across the top in his scratching script. “It would give us the most bang for our buck if we announced a new plan at the Friday-morning assembly. Some parents will probably show up for that so this way they’d learn about our plan at the same time as the kids.”

“Whatever our plan is,” she added in a droll voice.

“Yeah. Maybe we could put a float in the Homecoming parade.” He doodled on the pad.

“A float? We only have a week to organize it. And why a float? What’s the purpose?” Brianna didn’t mention that her brain had been whirling with ideas ever since he’d asked her to help, because it was also whirling with confusion at how he’d pushed everything they’d shared into the past. Was it so easy for Zac to forget that he’d once said he loved her?