Yuletide Proposal

“Just spell out what you want from me, will you, Zac?”

“Okay, I will.” He inhaled. “I need a plan to get these kids motivated. Hope isn’t like it was when we grew up here, Brianna.” He hunched forward, his face as serious as she’d ever seen it. “These kids aren’t gung ho about their future.”

“Not all of our peers were when we were growing up, either,” she reminded.

“Maybe not, but the vast majority of this generation of Hope’s kids have stopped imagining bigger or better. I want you to help me change that.”

Brianna stared at him, amazed by the passion in his voice.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” he grumbled.

“I don’t know what to say,” she admitted. “It’s a laudable goal and I wish you success, but beyond that, I don’t see what I can do. I’ve already got a lot on my plate,” she reminded. “I’ve barely started at the clinic.”

“You’ll be busy there. Because you represent hope.” He nodded. “That’s exactly what I want to give these kids, including Cory. Hope.” His voice dropped, his eyes melted. “Please, Brianna. Help me do that.”

She’d said that to him so many times in the past. Help me, Zac. And every time Zac had patiently helped solve her issue—whether it was schoolwork or peer issues. He even let her bawl on his shoulder when her mom’s controlling threatened to destroy her dreams, though she’d been too embarrassed to tell him the truth about the rift between her and her mother. Yet through all her problems, Zac had always been on her side.

Until the day before their wedding.

Brianna veered away from that, back to the present.

“You have to get back to work and so do I. Let me think about it, Zac.” When he would have protested she cut him off. “You’ve obviously been considering this for a while, but it’s all new to me. I don’t know that I can take on something else until I’ve got my world settled a little better.”

“What’s your primary objection?”

“We have a past,” she said bluntly.

“So?” His chin jutted out.

“You must remember we seldom agreed on how things should be done.”

“I remember. And I remember we made it work anyway.” A crooked smile tipped his lips. His grin made her blush.

“Yes, well.” She coughed, searching for composure. “You’d want to be rid of me after our first argument. I can’t afford any negativity. This is my career and I’ve worked really hard for it.” She tried to soften her words. “It simply wouldn’t work, Zac. I’m sorry.”

“You could make it work, Brianna. You always had ten irons in the fire and you never had a problem.” His voice dropped to a more intimate level as his gaze searched hers. “The past is over. There’s nothing between us now, after all these years. What happened when we were kids isn’t going to affect me now. How about you?”

His words stung, though they shouldn’t have.

Nothing between us after all these years.

Her fingers automatically lifted to touch the chain that held the engagement ring he’d given her one Christmas Eve, hidden beneath the fabric of her blouse. She recalled the many times she’d been down, on the verge of quitting, and had touched that ring, mentally replaying Zac’s voice encouraging her to focus on what she wanted and go for it. He didn’t know it, but he’d gotten her through so many hard times.

“Don’t say no, Brianna. Next weekend is Homecoming. It could be the kickoff for a new plan. Think about it until tomorrow,” he begged. “That would still leave us a week to plan something.”

“Why does inspiring these kids mean so much to you?” she asked curiously.

“Because of Jeffrey.” His voice was raw.

She frowned, not understanding.

“I failed him.” Zac’s tightly controlled voice held fathoms of pain. “I don’t want any more kids on my conscience.”

His anguish wrenched Brianna’s heart, but the thought of working with him made her knees knock.

“All I can promise is I’ll think about it.” Brianna rose.

“Good enough.” He rose, too.

“Thank you for lunch. It was very nice.” Nice? It was the most interesting lunch she’d ever had. And that’s what worried her.

“You can help, Brianna.” Zac touched her arm, and then as her skin burned beneath his fingertips, he let his hand fall away. He gathered and stored his things. “Please consider it seriously.”

Brianna nodded, handed over the package for her mother when he insisted and watched him leave. Her caseload at the clinic left little time to think about what Zac had said until later that night when, after another argument about his curfew, Cory finally went to bed. She tried to talk to her dad but surprisingly he encouraged her participation with Zac.

“Let the past go, Brianna. Otherwise it will eat you to death.”

If it were only that easy.

When he retired and she was alone, Brianna pulled out all the arguments and pieced them together in her head.

Zac made a good case, but despite his intensity and passion, she had a hunch he hadn’t told her all his reasons for wanting this project. And forget what he’d said about their past being over; their past was a minefield of things not said. Resentment stirred like a boiling cauldron inside her. Zac, no doubt, carried his own grudges. Sooner or later he’d want to see her pay for running out on him.

Brianna ached to forget the past, but seeing Zac again revived the sense of betrayal she still felt, made worse since Jaclyn had announced her pregnancy. She and Kent were building their future. What was Brianna’s future? Cory would grow up, leave and she’d be alone.

She knew love like what Kent and Jaclyn shared wasn’t for her. She’d given that up when she’d left Hope ten years ago. That’s why she married Cory’s father, because it didn’t involve her heart. But she was finally doing the one thing she’d dreamed of all her life—counseling kids. She would not be swayed from that goal.

Like a movie, the night of their rehearsal dinner replayed in her mind.

You’re right, Mrs. Benson. We’ll stay in Hope for a while. Brianna will work in your interior-design store, maybe even take over for you.

With those few words Zac had derailed her dreams, broken every promise he’d made her and destroyed her faith in his integrity. He hadn’t known all the details of her battles with her mom, but he had known that Brianna never wanted to return to the store when she’d left after high school, despite her mother’s determination that she do so. And yet, he’d promised her mother Brianna would do the one thing she’d always fought against. He’d betrayed her.

Now he wanted her help.

How could she say yes after he’d destroyed the trust she had in him?

How could she say no when he was trying to help kids—kids like Cory?

Sighing, Brianna pulled out her Bible and read a couple of chapters. But they were just words. God, as usual, seemed far away. Still, ever hopeful, she reached out.

“What do I do, Lord?”

The empty silence left her aching with the familiar feelings of heavenly abandonment. Where was God when she needed Him?

It was going to be another sleepless night.

Chapter Three