Gentle First Year: The Essential Guide to Mother and Baby Wellbeing in the First Twelve Months

Within a day she went from producing 10 drops of milk to 50. A day later she was up to 10ml and then again up to 20ml. Within two weeks she was breastfeeding satisfactorily, even though she did supplement at night.

Recipe for Fennel Tonic

The Ayurvedic herbal tonic called Jeerarishtam is a boon to new mothers in India and improves lactation tremendously. The main ingredient of this preparation is fennel seeds, and for mothers who can’t get hold of Jeerarishtam, then a simple recipe is to take a teaspoon of fennel seeds, boil it in half a pint of water, reduce it down to a cupful and drink this daily for three months after the birth.

The following postnatal milk-boosting recipes are Syrian in origin, and contributed by one of my favourite mothers, Rima Stait.

Recipe for Chicken Broth Porridge

1 whole chicken

5 cups of boiling water

Salt and pepper to taste

1 cup of Quaker Porridge Oats

Honey and a sprinkle of cinnamon

1 Cut the chicken into relatively small pieces. Place in a saucepan and cover with the boiling water.

2 Cover and boil for an hour. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

3 Allow to cool and remove all bones from the chicken, shredding the meat into bite-size pieces.

4 Boil the porridge oats with the remaining chicken broth (which should be about 4 cups) in the saucepan (without the chicken). Stir for 15 minutes over a low heat.

5 Add the chicken and stir occasionally for another 15 minutes.

6 Just before the end of cooking time, add honey and a sprinkle of cinnamon to taste.

NB You can substitute lamb off the bone for the chicken.

Recipe for Caraway Dessert

Traditionally this recipe is made by the grandmother, and it’s a labour of love.

6 cups of boiling water

2 cups of sugar

1 cup of powdered rice

¼ cup of caraway powder (see Resources)

2 tablespoons of cinnamon

Mixed nuts (pistachios, almonds, walnuts, pine nuts …)

1 Mix all the ingredients together in a saucepan, except for the nuts.

2 Leave to boil gently over a low heat for an hour, stirring continuously, until the mixture turns thick. (Thickness can be controlled by adding more boiling water if needed.)

3 Pour into small dessert glasses and refrigerate.

4 Soak the nuts in warm water for an hour and peel off any excess skin.

5 Remove the dessert from the refrigerator an hour or so before serving, as it is best eaten at room temperature. Sprinkle the nuts over each dessert glass.

Emotional Minefields

Baby Blues

One of the most oft-heard statements in the delivery room is: ‘This is the happiest day of my life.’ But I’ve long felt that statement has a lot to answer for because it implies that happiness is absolute, untainted by any other more complex emotions such as anxiety, anger or resentment. Three days later at home or on the postnatal ward when the baby blues kick in, it’s usually a different story anyway! Whilst for many mothers the love for their baby is instant, deep and undeniable, for equally as many others, the maternal response is cautious, fearful and even apathetic.

As I wrote earlier in this chapter, bonding is neither automatic nor immediate. Even those mothers who reported a love-at-first-sight reaction will tell you that however powerful that thunderbolt, their love has grown infinitely deeper with the years. Initial ambivalence doesn’t signify lack of maternal feeling – or, as some fear, psychosis – but rather a hormonal flux.

During your pregnancy, practically everything that can be measured and evaluated is recorded – blood pressure, sugar levels, volume of amniotic waters, size of the baby’s tummy, the size of the fundus (your tummy!). And yet the catalyst for all this activity is the dramatic hormone change. During pregnancy, levels of the hormone oestrogen from the baby’s placenta are 300 times higher than normal, while progesterone and relaxin levels are 30 times higher. During birth your body is flooded with oxytocin from your own hypothalamus and pituitary gland. After giving birth, the oestrogen and progesterone ebb away to allow for the greater flow of prolactin from your pituitary gland. The rigours of pregnancy and birth are small beer compared to these rocking hormone changes, so it’s little wonder if you feel emotionally fragile.

Put frankly, it takes time to feel normal, and the immediate postnatal phase should come with a mental health warning! Fortunately, the mental and emotional aspect of birthing is becoming more understood. At antenatal classes, parents are told to expect the baby blues coming along with the milk, and any residual stigma or taboo surrounding postnatal depression has disappeared as we’ve learnt more about it. Postnatal depression does not mean a maternal vacuum – it’s just chemistry.

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT BABY BLUES?

Well, the first step is recognizing the symptoms and asking for help. In the first week after birth, extreme tiredness, apathy about the baby, loss of appetite, anxiety, insomnia, weepiness or desperation are all indicators of the baby blues and incredibly common. Fifty to eighty per cent of mothers experience one, or a range, of these emotions, so it’s more likely that you will too. The cause is straightforward: the milk let-down hormone, prolactin, is present in ever increasing levels during pregnancy but surges in greater quantities once the main placental hormones – oestrogen and progesterone – have mostly been excreted after the birth of the baby and the expulsion of the placenta. This means a massive drop of oestrogen and circulating progesterone as well. This is like a hormonal cold turkey for the body and it takes a couple of days to readjust. Medically, it has become common practice to treat postnatal depression with a natural form of progesterone in large doses. I have found that rose otto oil massage really helps too, mostly because it is highly oestrogenic and is a safe source of plant oestrogens.

tips for beating the baby blues

I ask mothers to look in the mirror every morning and say out loud to themselves: ‘I love my life’ several times, maybe even 30 times! This feels strange initially but after a few days the programming kicks in and you really will feel better about your life. For milder cases of depression, I also encourage my mothers to sing – yes, really. To begin with, they often have to force themselves, as singing – like smiling – is naturally joyous. But it’s a case of ‘fake it till you make it’. The joy that comes from this small gesture is deeply underestimated and irrepressible – and your baby will love it too.

Postnatal Depression

Postnatal depression isn’t quite so textbook as the baby blues. It can come on at any time up to a year after the baby is born. Many mothers feel more depressed at four to five months than in the first week, as the immediate post-birth euphoria is attributed to the endorphins that are released in great quantities during the birth process. Once the endorphin levels drop, the broken nights take their toll. Breastfeeding depletes the mother’s fragile energy reserves, and the days can easily settle into a tedious, unending schedule of nappy changes, naps and feeds. This routine can be particularly tough on career-minded mothers.

Postnatal depression (PND) affects 15 per cent of mothers, which is still statistically significant. Symptoms include those of the baby blues (see previous page), compounded with:

feelings of inadequacy

despondency

panic

guilt

mania

no desire to breastfeed

not caring about your appearance