Play It Again, Sahm

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Pr31Mom: Zelia, dear.

ZeeMuzzy: ros, honey.

Pr31Mom: Thank you for your apology on the loop.

ZeeMuzzy: no prob. you know i could never bear the thought of offending anyone.

Pr31Mom: Of course not. You’re sweetness itself.

ZeeMuzzy: takes one to know one, babe.

Pr31Mom: That’s kind of you to say so. I hope you are feeling sufficiently cheered now?

ZeeMuzzy: vastly.

Pr31Mom: Great. Well, then, I’ll let you get back to your day. Since I’m sure you’re far too busy for more loop humor today, we’ll have to just get along without the giggles. Okay?

ZeeMuzzy: you never know. i might have a few spare moments later on.

Pr31Mom: That’s a relief. Wouldn’t want you to be too stressed out.

ZeeMuzzy: yes, because you’re just that kind of compassionate person, aren’t you.

Pr31Mom: Zelia, I’m serious—

ZeeMuzzy signed off at 2:38:02 p.m.

This is the biggest pile of male cow manure I have ever read in my life! First off, Rosalyn, your parents did not screw you up. You want to compare dysfunctions? You all know I had Maddy at age sixteen. Yep, teen mom. I was the poster child for dysfunction. It would be easy for me to whine and say it was the fault of my parents—they were no Clair and Cliff Huxtable for sure. But my family was no worse than many of my friends’ and not all of them became teen moms. I made my own choices. We all do. So if your life has a lot of problems, then it’s up to you to make the choices you need to make in order to fix those problems.

As far as our kids go— I doubt any of us on this loop are doing anything less than our best for our kids. We’re not going to get it right all the time. Our kids will survive. At least they have so far. Guilt trips and self-loathing for our shortcomings are only going to make it harder to see what our kids really need. And when it comes down to it, our kids are the only ones who can actually make their lives successful and fulfilling. They have to choose to be that way. We can’t guarantee it for them.

You want to meet your kids’ needs? Stop being so hard on yourself. They need a mom who isn’t drowning in self-inflicted condemnation. Or whining. A mom who is happy and still realistic about who she is and her own weaknesses. And who isn’t afraid to make changes to improve but who doesn’t beat herself up for her imagined failures.

By the way—who won the fight?

Brenna

Girrrrrl!!!!!

Um, am I a good “girrrrl” or a bad “girrrrrl”?

You are an amazing, gutsy, tough-as-nails, I’m-in-awe, totally correct, couldn’t-have-said-it-better-myself, wish-I’d-have-said-it-first, love you to pieces…girrrrrrl!!!

Z

I sort of like don’t really agree—with either Rosamund or Brenda. I think it’s better to just not do all those mean things to our kids in the first place. Then we don’t have to worry about messing them up. And there’s lots and lots of books about child development that will explain everything you need to know about what kids need.

Most moms have trouble with that because they aren’t focusing on their kids like they should. I’m totally into hanging out with friends and stuff, but my little Boaz always comes first. ’Cause I’m his mommy and that’s what mommies do— I’m the center of his world, and as long as he feels secure about that, he won’t ever have any problems.

I’m always into keeping it simple, you know? And it doesn’t get more simple than that—just being there for them. All the time, any time.

Hannah

Hannah,

Thank you so much for sharing that incredible nugget of wisdom. I’m very impressed with the depth of the insight you’ve gained from just two months of motherhood and a handful of parenting books. We must never underestimate the power of the written word combined with our own deep maternal instincts. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before—all I have to do to make my children happy is be everything to them! It really is that simple. Thanks, honey. You’ve changed the entire course of my life.

ROSALYN

“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)

Really? Wow! I’m SOOOO relieved. I was afraid you’d all be like ticked off at me for disagreeing with you. I really DO love my books—everything I know about kids comes straight off those pages. Since you were so interested in them, I posted a list of them in the loop files.

The newest book I have is about how to educate infants. I’m going to teach Boaz sign language so he won’t ever feel frustrated about not being able to communicate his needs. Then we can avoid all those nasty temper tantrums later on.

And the book also talks about how important it is to make good faces at our babies. Did you know that if you frown and talk to a baby in an angry tone of voice before they’re two years old, it will cause brain damage? I’m totally serious! So this book says you should always approach your baby with a big smile on your face, even if he’s crying. Otherwise, you could scar a kid for life!!!

Gotta go— Boaz needs me to grin at him some more. Sometimes I just sit and smile at him for a half hour at a time. I’m hoping it will make up for any frowns he might have accidentally seen on other people.

Hannah

Did anyone else find this idea a bit creepy? Reminds me of a clown. I was terrified of clowns when I was little.

Marianne

Hate to break it to you, Marianne, but there are clowns on SAHM I Am—and they’ve been posting all morning!

My goodness, has Rosalyn learned NOTHING from the disaster that is her life the past two years? And that Hannah… I’m sorry, but nineteen-year-olds have NO business being parents. I can say that because I had a three-year-old by that time, and I was totally clueless. The difference is that I made a mistake by being a teen mom. But Hannah?

She did it on purpose!

It makes me furious. And the weird thing is I really don’t know why. It’s her life. Her business. But everything in me just screams that it was a stupid decision. Maybe getting married at eighteen was fine for women hundreds of years ago, but it’s foolish now.

I know… I must sound like a grumpy middle-aged woman. She just gets on my nerves.

Brenna

Text Message From Jeannine Hash: For Dulcie Huckleberry

——June 16/7:45 a.m.——

Hi i just got a cell phone with text messaging sorry for no punctuation but i cant find it do you want me to ask some of my friends if they need a decorator text messages take a lot of time to write this one took me 20 minutes

Text Message From Dulcie Huckleberry: For Jeannine Hash

——June 16/10:01 a.m.——