Fruits of Culture

TÁNYA. Why, don't you see, Theodore Ivánitch, I can't remain here any longer. Ask them to let me go.

Enter Jacob, running.

THEODORE IVÁNITCH [to Jacob] What d'you want?

JACOB. Another samovár, and oranges.

THEODORE IVÁNITCH. Ask the housekeeper.

Exit Jacob.

THEODORE IVÁNITCH [to Tánya] How is that?

TÁNYA. Why, don't you see, my position is such …

JACOB [runs in] There are not enough oranges.

THEODORE IVÁNITCH. Serve up as many as you've got [Exit Jacob]. Now's not the time! Just see what a bustle we are in.

TÁNYA. But you know yourself, Theodore Ivánitch, there is no end to this bustle; one might wait for ever – you know yourself – and my affair is for life… Dear Theodore Ivánitch, you have done me a good turn, be a father to me now, choose the right moment and tell her, or else she'll get angry and won't let me have my passport.[19 - Employers have charge of the servants' passports, and in this way have a hold on them in case of misconduct.]

THEODORE IVÁNITCH. Where's the hurry?

TÁNYA. Why, Theodore Ivánitch, it's all settled now… And I could go to my godmother's and get ready, and then after Easter we'd get married.[20 - See footnote, p. 28. It is customary for peasants to marry just after Easter, but when spring has come and the field work begun, no marriages take place among them till autumn.] Do tell her, dear Theodore Ivánitch!

THEODORE IVÁNITCH. Go away – this is not the place.

An elderly Gentleman comes downstairs, puts on overcoat, and goes out followed by the Second Footman.

Exit Tánya. Enter Jacob.

JACOB. Just fancy, Theodore Ivánitch, it's too bad! She wants to discharge me now! She says, “You break everything, and forget Frisk, and you let the peasants into the kitchen against my orders!” And you know very well that I knew nothing about it. Tatyána told me, “Take them into the kitchen”; how could I tell whose order it was?

THEODORE IVÁNITCH. Did the mistress speak to you?

JACOB. She's just spoken. Do speak up for me, Theodore Ivánitch! You see, my people in the country are only just getting on their feet, and suppose I lose my place, when shall I get another? Theodore Ivánitch, do, please!

Anna Pávlovna comes down with the old Countess, whom she is seeing off. The Countess has false teeth and hair. The First Footman helps the Countess into her outdoor things.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Oh, most certainly, of course! I am so deeply touched.

COUNTESS. If it were not for my illness, I should come oftener to see you.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. You should really consult Peter Petróvitch. He is rough, but nobody can soothe one as he does. He is so clear, so simple.

COUNTESS. Oh no, I shall keep to the one I am used to.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Pray, take care of yourself.

COUNTESS. Merci, mille fois merci.[21 - COUNTESS. Thank you (for your hospitality), a thousand thanks.]

Gregory, dishevelled and excited, jumps out from the servants' quarters. Simon appears behind him in the doorway.

SIMON. You'd better leave her alone!

GREGORY. You rascal! I'll teach you how to fight, you scamp, you!

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. What do you mean? Do you think you are in a public-house?

GREGORY. This coarse peasant makes life impossible for me.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA [provoked] You've lost your senses. Don't you see? [To Countess] Merci, mille fois merci. A mardi![22 - ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Thank you (for coming to see us), a thousand thanks. Till next Tuesday!]

Exeunt Countess and First Footman.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA [to Gregory] What is the meaning of this?

GREGORY. Though I do occupy the position of a footman, still I won't allow every peasant to hit me; I have my pride too.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Why, what has happened?

GREGORY. Why, this Simon of yours has got so brave, sitting with the gentlemen, that he wants to fight!

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. Why? What for?

GREGORY. Heaven only knows!

ANNA PÁVLOVNA [to Simon] What is the meaning of it?

SIMON. Why does he bother her?

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. What has happened?

SIMON [smiles] Well, you see, he is always catching hold of Tánya, the lady's-maid, and she won't have it. Well, so I just moved him aside a bit, just so, with my hand.

GREGORY. A nice little bit! He's almost caved my ribs in, and has torn my dress-coat, and he says, “The same power as came over me yesterday comes on me again,” and he begins to squeeze me.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA [to Simon] How dare you fight in my house?

THEODORE IVÁNITCH. May I explain it to you, ma'am? I must tell you Simon is not indifferent to Tánya, and is engaged to her. And Gregory – one must admit the truth – does not behave properly, nor honestly, to her. Well, so I suppose Simon got angry with him.

GREGORY. Not at all! It is all his spite, because I have discovered their trickery.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. What trickery?

GREGORY. Why, at the séance. All those things, last night, – it was not Simon but Tánya who did them! I saw her getting out from under the sofa with my own eyes.

ANNA PÁVLOVNA. What is that? From under the sofa?