Back In The Saddle

“Don’t really know, to be truthful. Except something about being out here...it makes me want to be more honest, maybe. Must be the thinner air or something.”

Mallory smiled. “So why’d you marry him?”

“Oh, you know. Small town, timing was right...” She shrugged. “I had no complaints, though, all told. Don’t think Jimmy did, either. Maybe because we didn’t have any other frame of reference, I don’t know. But my point is, if what Josh says is true—and my eyes and ears tell me it is—I can’t relate to that young man’s sense of loss, of upheaval, nearly as well as I think you can.”

Wishing to hell the light was off, Mallory looked away. Because, fine, her mother was right—Mallory could definitely relate to the hurt she saw in those deep blue eyes, even though their situations were nothing alike. She also guessed Zach was doing everything in his power to keep everyone from knowing how much. Because she’d been there, too. Still was, frankly.

But what struck her even more was how close to home her mother’s confession had hit. That even as Mallory found herself perturbed for her mother’s sake that she’d apparently never experienced true, all-consuming love, she realized...neither had she. That her own marriage hadn’t exactly been all about the passion, either. When it ended, she’d felt more disappointed than devastated. Had Russell felt even that much? she wondered.

And if she let her thoughts continue down this path, she’d be screwed. Hoping to ease the ache in her back, she fisted the cushion on either side of her hips to shift on the sofa. “And what, exactly, do you think I could do for Zach?”

“Be an example, maybe?”

“Of what? My spine is broken, not my heart—”

“Then maybe you should remember those first few weeks, after the accident, when you were sure your life was over. No, you’re no expert, maybe, but you’ve overcome so much, baby—”

“Oh, Mama...”

“What?”

She reached for her mother’s hand. “In case you hadn’t noticed, my life has kind of imploded over the last year or so. Again. Whole reason I’m here, you know? To take stock, figure out what comes next. Maybe to you it looked like I was doing okay—”

“More than ‘okay,’ honey—”

“Physically? Yes, I’ve exceeded everyone’s expectations. Not to mention my own. And I’m grateful for that, believe me. But my marriage fell apart, my son’s living with his father, and I’ve been in career limbo since the accident. Those are the facts. I’m no more in the position to be a cheerleader for somebody else—particularly somebody I’m guessing would not take kindly to some stranger sticking her nose in his personal life—than the man in the moon. I came here to get away from complications, not pile more on.”

“And it’s not like you to feel sorry for yourself.”

“Seriously?”

“Oh, don’t give me that look—yes, that one. Because you know full well you wouldn’t’ve made the progress you did if I’d babied you. If I’d felt sorry for you. And damned if I’m gonna start now. So you’ve had a few setbacks. Big deal. This, too, shall pass.”

And the elephant swaggered into the room and plopped its big ole butt on the pavers between them.

“I know you think I shouldn’t’ve left LA. Or given up on Landon—”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to, the undertones to every one of our conversations are loud and clear.”

Mama’s mouth pulled tight. “Then, no, I don’t think leaving was the answer. And it wasn’t Landon you gave up on. It was yourself.”

Mallory’s face warmed. “Being realistic—or taking time to get my head on straight—is not feeling sorry for myself. Or giving up. Whether you think so or not. And what on earth does any of this have to do with Zach Talbot?”

Shifting the dog in her arms, her mother stood. “You need a purpose, honey. A reason to get up in the mornings. To get out of your own head. And right now it doesn’t look to me like you have that. I’m only saying, that young man might be why you were led to come here.”

“Now you’re just talking crazy.”

“Yeah, well, at least I’m talking. At least I’m facing the truth. Not running away from it.”

With that, Mama shook back her hair as much as a ton of hairspray would allow and left the room.

But the worst part of it was that Mama was right. Dammit.

Then again, if Mallory was as messed up as her loving mother seemed to think she was, what on earth good would she be to Zach? Who by all accounts was equally as messed up?

She tossed aside the throw over her legs to get back in the chair, which she rolled across the floor to turn out the damn light, so she could sit in the damn dark and consider her sins.

Which, apparently, were many.

Dammit.

Chapter Three (#ulink_b6ef691f-d504-5d3c-88b8-3a07fab15639)

By rights, Zach should’ve let his brother return the sunglasses to Dorelle. Except Josh—rightly—pointed out that Mallory’s mother would be far more likely to pay another visit to the clinic than Josh would get anywhere near where they lived on the other side of town. And since they didn’t look like some cheapo discount store things, Josh guessed she’d probably like them back.

Sure enough, the next day Dorelle called, asked if Josh had brought them by. So naturally Zach said he’d be glad to return them to her since she had no reason to bring the dog in at the moment. No, of course it wasn’t a problem.

So here he was, standing on the wooden-planked porch fronting the ranch-style house, set off far enough from the highway that the surrounding pinons and aspens easily swallowed up whatever traffic noise there might have been. It was real pretty out here, Zach had to admit, even though with two young boys and his practice he’d grown to appreciate the convenience of in-town living. Even if the town was Whispering Pines, where convenience was definitely in the eye of the beholder. Still—he turned, smiling at Benny watching the boys chase each other across a space far too large to be called a front yard—sometimes he missed living out in the country.

The front door—carved, huge, way overdone for the house—opened. In a dark green sweater that made her eyes go more hazel than gray, Mallory looked up at him, frowning. Zach lifted the sunglasses. She sighed.

“I swear, that woman loses more pairs of sunglasses. But you didn’t have to bring them. We could’ve picked them up the next time we were in town—”

“She asked.”

“Then I guess that explains the cookies.”

“Cookies?”

“Three kinds, last time I checked.” She leaned over to look past him. “And I take it the comets streaking across my yard are the boys?”

“They have two settings—warp speed and zonked out.”

Mallory chuckled, but her smile didn’t quite blossom full out. “Sounds familiar. Well, I suppose you may as well bring them in to eat the cookies. Because heaven knows I don’t need them—the chair makes my butt look big enough, thank you.”

Swallowing a grin, Zach turned and called. Panting and flush-faced, they ran over, the dog plodding slowly behind. Zach automatically started plucking bits of dried grass out of his youngest’s hair. “You guys remember Miss Keyes from yesterday?”

“Uh-huh,” they said in unison, doing the bobble-head thing as the dog finally finished the journey...and promptly planted his muddy front paws on Mallory’s lap and started to lick her face, his tail pumping a mile a minute.

“Benny!” Zach bellowed over Mallory’s shrieks and the boys’ explosion of giggles, grabbing the dog’s collar and tugging. Hard. Like trying to move a five-hundred-pound boulder. “Down!” With a mighty yank, he finally got the dog off Mallory’s lap. “And you two can stop right now,” he said to the boys. Who of course only laughed harder.

Mortified, Zach turned back to Mallory, busy wiping dog slobber off her cheek. He dug in his jacket pocket for a tissue. Which, with drippy-nosed boys, he always carried. Amazingly, it was actually clean.

“I’m so sorry!” he said, handing over the tissue and glaring at the completely unrepentant dog. “I had no idea he’d do that—”

“No worries,” she said, chuckling, mopping up the dog spit. “Come here, baby... No, it’s okay, don’t you pay any attention to the mean ol’ man...”