Unexpected Family

“So, I have an idea how we can do this.” She drew her palms together, her chin resting on her fingertips.

He narrowed his eyes. “Do what?”

“Spend time together—the three of us—to make Macy feel comfortable with you.”

His lips tugged downward as if he’d bitten into a Sour Patch Kids candy. “The three of us?”

“Until she’s used to you. Then we can figure out a way to tell her you’re her dad. Work out a visitation schedule.”

She waited for his outburst, his objection. He stared at the window a moment, then met her eyes.

“Okay, but I’m not waiting forever.” He raked his hand through his hair. “How does Saturday afternoon work for you?”

* * *

Ridiculous.

He’d accepted her terms without a fight. Tom merged his truck onto the highway, cranking a Keith Urban song louder.

Who was he kidding? All the fight had left him when she’d walked out five years ago. It had happened so quickly. They’d met, gotten engaged, been married and divorced in just over a year. He’d been coasting ever since.

Not true. He’d stopped drifting when he’d started training. He pressed on the accelerator. He’d already added three miles to his hardest runs. Given up pop and junk food. This race was worth pushing himself for. It had to be.

Years of being stuck in the past, of being convinced he wasn’t enough, had taken its toll. Regrets and blame roared through his gut. The blame he’d gotten through with the help of his Bible. But the regrets?

He hadn’t been a good husband. So wrapped up in his new responsibilities of managing Dad’s car dealership, he’d worked seventy-hour weeks and ignored his bride. She was right about that. He had neglected her.

He’d loved her. And he’d blown it. Hadn’t paid attention to the signs, but in hindsight, they’d been there. She’d cooked special meals he never showed up for. Worse, he’d barely thanked her. And, on more than one occasion, he’d lost track of time reviewing reports when he was supposed to meet her at a restaurant or the movies. He’d ignored her sadness and basically acted as if marriage was all about him.

It didn’t excuse her, though. She’d lied, went behind his back and gotten close with another guy. But what had she said just now? About seeing that jerk for who he was—a lonely scuzzball? Maybe she hadn’t put it in those words, but she might as well have. He grinned for a moment, and then a slew of questions about his future assaulted him.

The exit he normally took came and went, and within minutes he found himself at the zoo gate where Claire worked. He texted her. Meet me out front? I need to talk.

He should be driving home, lacing up his shoes and hitting the pavement. Should be acting as if what happened today didn’t matter. But a feeling of caving in, of losing—what, he didn’t know—coursed through his body.

His phone dinged. I’ll be there in five minutes.

Five minutes. Too long. The taste in his mouth turned to copper.

Maybe he hadn’t caved in. And he certainly hadn’t lost anything. He’d let Stephanie have her plan because...

He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready to be a dad.

“There you are.” Claire sailed through the gate and gave him a hug. “How did it go? Did she love the bunny?”

“I’m not sure.” He led Claire to a bench. Seeing her in the khaki pants and polo shirt with her name embroidered on it always filled him with pride. His sister had wanted to work for the zoo since she was a little kid. Her dream finally came true this year. Some people’s dreams did anyway. “I didn’t see her.”

“What?” Claire’s stricken face matched her tone. “Why?”

“Stephanie thinks we should ease Macy into this.”

“Oh, like you get to know her before telling her you’re her dad?”

He nodded. Claire made it sound reasonable.

“Makes sense to me,” she added. “Does it bother you so much?”

“Not that. She wants to be there, too.”

“Who? Stephanie?” The corners of her lip curled down and she shrugged. “Might be smart.”

“You think so?” He clung to the thought.

“Yeah.” She brushed a piece of straw off her pants. “Think about it. If you’re a four-year-old girl, would you want to spend time with some strange man if your mom isn’t around? You’d likely terrify her, no offense.”

“None taken.” He hadn’t pursued that angle before. His apprehension lightened. “But it’s hard.”

“I know. It is hard. Spending time with your ex-wife is hard.”

“I worry— Never mind.” Spending time with Stephanie was difficult because she reminded him of the dreams he’d tucked away. Before they got married, he’d had a plan. Make the dealership a success, buy a house, start a family. Except he’d failed. He jerked his head to the side. The sun warmed his face. He didn’t dare say what he was thinking out loud.

Claire touched his arm. “Are you worried about her hurting you again?”

How did Claire always cut to the heart of it?

He nodded.

“Tommy, Aunt Sally once asked me if I believed I’m always divinely guided, and I told her yes. Do you know what she said to me after?”

He shook his head.

“She told me I would always take the right turn in the road. I believe that. Now you’ll have to ask yourself the same question.”

The clouds feathered across the sky as he pondered what she said. Divinely guided, yes. But did he always take the right turn in the road? No. He’d made too many wrong turns to believe it.

“I was kind of glad Stephanie suggested taking it slow. I’m not ready to be alone with my own kid. I have no idea what little girls like to do, what they need, what they eat. I’m clueless, Claire.” Plus, he was drawn to Stephanie, not that he’d ever admit it. Would he get lost in another thankless relationship with her? Where he’d end up the loser again?

She laughed. “You’re going to be great. Macy will love you. Just take lots of notes on how Stephanie handles things. And when you’re in doubt, ask Macy what she likes.”

He didn’t voice the other concern spinning around his head. What if he spent time with them and realized he was a terrible dad? That Macy was better off without him in her life?

“Something else is on your mind,” Claire said. “I can see it.”

She knew him well, but he wasn’t ready to confide in her. “I finally got the guts to sign up for something I’d been thinking about for years, and this situation could end it.”

“You’re not going to quit training. This race is too important to you, so don’t even go there. We’ll keep you on track. And I get you’d be nervous about...this situation—about Stephanie. You don’t have to explain. You sprinted through the whole relationship, and she’s, what, five years younger than you? You two weren’t ready for marriage, and it’s not as if you’re dating again—you’re spending time together so you can be the dad you were meant to be.”

The words sprinkled over him, shedding a layer of guilt he’d thought he’d eliminated. “Thanks, Claire.” Hanging out with Stephanie and Macy would give him the skills he needed to be a good father. He’d have to keep reminding himself.