P.O.D. Postmodernism on Demand

P.O.D. Postmodernism on Demand
Dean Mem Entomori

P.O.D. Postmodern on Demand – это адаптированный перевод с русского на английский сатирической постмодернистской новеллы "Пъе Левиндт". Автор, в своём произведении делает тонкий и остроумный реверанс к Виктору Пелевину, который в английской версии трансформировался в отсылки к Томасу Пинчону и другим культовым постмодернистам.

Это не просто перевод, а культурная переработка, сохраняющая сатирическую суть оригинала, но с новым контекстом. Книга высмеивает абсурд современности: от псевдодуховных гуру и пандемических вебинаров до модного увлечения психоделиками и власти искусственного интеллекта. Здесь, как и в оригинале, пародийные образы перерастают в глобальный контекст западной культуры.

Ирония над self-help и New Age движением;

Абсурдность зависимости от алгоритмов и технологий;

Отсылки к классическим и современным постмодернистам, от Пинчона до Адамса.

Это книга для тех, кто ценит интеллектуальный юмор, философскую сатиру и умеет смеяться над собой и окружающим миром.

Dean Mem Entomori

P.O.D. Postmodernism on Demand

Foreword

By Jonathan Quibble, Senior Editor at HagglerCollars Publishing

Dear Reader,

There are books that challenge you. There are books that confuse you. And then there are books like P.O.D. Postmodern on Demand—a book so bold, so utterly unhinged, it dares you to question whether it should exist at all.

When the manuscript first arrived at HagglerCollars, it came with no explanation. Just a file name (FINAL-FINAL-REALLY-FINAL.docx) and a cryptic email that read, “It’s done. Do what you will.” As I opened the file, I felt like an archaeologist dusting off an ancient artifact, unsure whether I was about to uncover a lost masterpiece or unleash a literary curse.

What I found defied all expectations. This is not just a book—it’s a labyrinth. A swirling, kaleidoscopic journey that teeters on the edge of brilliance and absurdity. It’s part satire, part philosophy, part… well, something else entirely.

Tonny Rugless Pinchchitte Jr., the enigmatic mind behind this work, is no ordinary author. Known for his disdain for literary conventions and his unusual sources of inspiration, Tonny has a talent for turning the mundane into the extraordinary. His work is a mirror held up to our fractured world, reflecting its chaos, its humor, and its uncomfortable truths.

But let me be clear: this book is not for the faint of heart. It will challenge your assumptions. It will make you laugh, wince, and possibly rethink your relationship with modern technology and… other things. Yet, through it all, you’ll find yourself unable to look away.

What is P.O.D. truly about? I won’t spoil it for you. Some have called it a manifesto for our times. Others have called it a fever dream. All I’ll say is this: step into its pages, and prepare for a journey unlike any you’ve taken before.

Welcome to the world of Tonny Rugless Pinchchitte Jr.

Sincerely,

Jonathan Quibble

Senior Editor, HagglerCollars Publishing

"In the end, life is just one big deadline. It starts with your birth certificate and ends with your obituary. In between, someone’s always asking: ‘Where’s the draft?’ And when the draft arrives, they’ll say: ‘This needs revisions.’ Because truth isn’t profitable. Stability is. And stability? It’s just crap dressed up as clarity.”

– Tonny Rugless Pinchchitte Jr.

Chapter 1: Tonny Rugless Pinchchitte Jr.

The email hit his inbox at 3:17 a.m. Like most emails from Human-Zone Kidney, it was a masterpiece of passive-aggressive brevity:

“Your Submission Requires Revisions.”

Tonny Rugless Pinchchitte Jr. sighed as he clicked the attachment. The manuscript looked like it had gone through a wood chipper of red comments. Every single one bore the same damning word: “Condemn.”

"They’re not condemning the text," he thought grimly, "they’re condemning me."

The phone buzzed. He let it ring once before reluctantly answering.

“Yeah?”

“Good morning, Mr. Pinchchitte,” a nasally voice said. “This is Alex, your moderator from Random Hassle. I’m calling from… uh… a mindfulness retreat in Colorado.”

“A retreat?” Tonny muttered, lighting a cigarette. “Fancy. What now?”

“Well,” Alex began hesitantly, “it’s about your manuscript. Our content guidelines flag several issues, especially around your, uh… characterization of majority figures.”

“Majority figures?” Tonny frowned.

“Yes, like… married, white, middle-class fathers,” Alex said, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Your protagonist is described as ‘tired,’ ‘overworked,’ and—how did you put it?—‘suffocating under the weight of societal expectations.’ That’s problematic.”

“Problematic for who?” Tonny asked, exhaling a stream of smoke.

“Well,” Alex continued, “we’re concerned it could be interpreted as sympathetic to, uh… traditional male archetypes. Readers might assume you’re… normalizing their struggle.”

Tonny barked out a laugh. “Normalizing their struggle? You mean, like waking up before everyone else, dying younger, and paying all the bills?”

“Exactly,” Alex said earnestly, as though Tonny had just solved a crossword puzzle. “That’s precisely the narrative we’re trying to avoid. Perhaps you could rewrite it to show how his behavior perpetuates systemic—”

“Let me stop you right there,” Tonny interrupted. “You want me to make the guy who pays for everything the villain?”

Alex sounded genuinely confused. “Well… yes. Isn’t he?”

Alex went on to explain that the Random Hassle editorial board, in collaboration with their AI, Big Condemn, had flagged over 73 “issues” in Tonny’s manuscript.

“For instance,” Alex said, “the phrase ‘exhausted father’ was replaced with ‘benevolent oppressor.’ And your scene where he helps his wife with the dishes? That needs to be reframed.”

“Reframed how?” Tonny asked, already regretting it.

“Maybe add an inner monologue where he’s angry about doing it,” Alex suggested. “That way it highlights his unconscious misogyny.”

“Misogyny?” Tonny nearly dropped his cigarette. “For doing the dishes?”

“Well,” Alex said cautiously, “it’s less about the act and more about what it symbolizes—an imbalance of power.”

Tonny muted the call and stared at the city below. Manhattan was waking up, the usual chaos unfolding in predictable patterns. A garbage truck rumbled past, and a jogger weaved between delivery bikes.

"So, now the guy who wakes up at 5 a.m., pays the mortgage, and dies before he can enjoy his retirement is the villain," he thought. "Sounds about right."