A Family for Luke

She was surprised at the tiny hitch of disappointment. She knew this was how it should be. Owen had taught her some hard lessons. She had no right to be harboring any fantasies when it came to men.

She had the responsibility of her children, the emotional detritus of a messy marriage and a divorce. Keeping herself and her family independent of men was the only way to maintain control of her life.

“Mom, I’m sorry I spilled the pop,” Todd said, “but can I have another one?”

Janie glanced at Todd’s stained clothes, then did some quick mental calculations. “Sorry, honey. We have to get back home so you can change, and then I have to take you to Cousin Ethan’s farm right away. Otherwise I’ll be late for Suzie’s dance recital.” If she didn’t get Suzie to her recital, her mother, who had bought front row tickets as soon as they were on sale, would be disappointed. Again.

One step at a time, she reminded herself, doing the deep breathing exercise a friend had taught her the one time she made it to an exercise class. Relax.

Todd acknowledged this with a reluctant nod. “Maybe Cousin Ethan will have some pop for me.”

“Maybe he will.” Janie ruffled his hair, then called out to her sister. “I gotta get going, Dodie. Can you finish cleaning and then lock up?”

The only response she got was a giggle and then a belated, “Sure. I’ll do that.” It seemed Dodie’s full attention was on Luke.

“Bye, Mr. Luke,” Todd called out, tossing Luke a quick wave as Janie ushered them out the door.

“Bye, Todd,” he called out. “See ya, Suzie, Autumn. See you later—”

Janie shut the back door, cutting off the rest of his farewell.

Chapter Three

Luke snapped open his ringing phone and glanced at the number as he spread the blueprint on the hood of his truck one-handed. Unknown name and number. Maybe the supplier he’d been trying to reach for the past few days.

“Hello. Luke here,” he said, glancing at the specs for the electrician.

A pause. A breath, and then, “Hello, Luke. It’s me. Your mom.”

Luke straightened, anchoring the blueprint with one hand as frustration spiraled through him. “Hello, Lillian. Did you get the money?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good.”

“Chuck tells me you’re very busy on the house.”

Uncle Chuck talks too much. “Yeah. I am.”

A family walked past him. Mother holding a little boy’s hand, father pushing the stroller. The perfect family.

Had his mother ever yearned for the same stability he had?

He shoved the thought aside. The only thing his mother had yearned for was another drink, another hit and another guy.

“So, I was thinking I could…maybe…” His mother heaved a sigh. “I wanna see you.”

Luke wondered why she still bothered. The last time she’d asked, like a sucker, he’d agreed. He’d waited an hour, then had gone back to the hotel he’d been staying at. He should have known better. Ever since he’d moved to Al’s, she’d try to visit him at least once a year. And once a year, he’d wait.

“Sorry. I’m busy.”

“Too busy for your mom?”

You don’t know how a mom behaves, Luke thought, glancing at the house beside his. As if his thoughts summoned her, Janie came outside with a watering can, Autumn trailing behind her. Janie pulled a plant from a hook and set it down so her little girl could water it.

That’s what mothers are like, Luke thought, melancholy surging through him.

Janie glanced his way and lifted her hand in a little neighborly wave.

He nodded, still holding on to the blueprint with one hand, his phone with the other. Still holding on to the connection he had with the woman who was his mother, but didn’t know how motherhood worked.

“If you need more money, just say so,” Luke said, wishing he could just hang up.

Silence greeted that remark.

“I gotta go,” he said finally. “If you need anything, please talk to Uncle Chuck.”

“Okay. Bye.”

He waited for her to disconnect, then closed his phone, watching Janie finish the job with her little girl, waiting until they went inside.

He folded up the blueprint and as he walked to his house, he glanced at his watch.

Twenty minutes left. The guys had promised to stay until six-thirty today. He was just about to go inside the house when his phone rang again.

It was his uncle.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked, a smile on his face. Talking to his uncle was the perfect antidote for the phone call he’d just had.

They made some chitchat. Discussed Luke’s financial situation (okay for now), his girlfriend situation (nonexistent) and then his uncle fell silent.

Luke had a premonition about what was coming next.

“Just talked to Lillian,” Chuck said.

I’m good, Luke thought. “I already gave her the money.”

“I don’t think that’s what she wants, Luke.”

“It’s all she’s ever wanted from anyone.” Even his foster father, Al, had been subjected to Lillian’s pleas for “just a bit of cash to tide me over.”

“I think it would be good for you if you could see her. I think it would be good for her, too. You know the Lord tells us to forgive seventy times seven.”

Luke pressed his index finger to his temple, massaging away a potential headache. “You know, Uncle Chuck? I really think I’ve passed that amount a few years ago.”

“Have you? Have you truly prayed and felt forgiveness for her four hundred and ninety times?”

Chuck’s quiet question raised, once again, the twisted mixture of guilt and anger he felt when he thought of his mother. The anger was justified, and he knew the guilt was misplaced. She had been the one who had left him alone again and again. She had been the one with the false promises each time to turn her life around. He couldn’t give her any more of his time and energy.