A Family for Luke

As their eyes held that twinge returned, but she ruthlessly quashed it. Single mom. Three kids. As if she had any space for even the faintest hint of flirtation.

“Just make sure you keep that dog away from my kids, okay?” she said, disliking the harsh tone that self-preservation had put into her voice.

Luke held her gaze, as if surprised at her anger. Well, he could stay surprised. She didn’t need to explain anything more to him.

But in spite of herself, she watched as he made his way down the walk, his six-foot-something frame bent over the dog to control him.

“Oh, my. Look at the mess,” Tilly said as they stepped back in the house. “This has got to be cleaned up immediately. And if you want to keep those flowers outside in good shape, they’ll need to be dealt with, as well.”

Janie would have preferred to deal with the flowers and ignore the mess in the house.

But her mother was already picking up the coatrack and clucking about the relatively minor mess.

“Cooper was hilarious.” Todd plopped onto the couch, a grin splitting his face.

“When I came upstairs, he was on my bed.” Suzie was still chuckling as she pushed a tossed pillow aside and sat on the floor.

“Was he jumping?” Autumn asked.

“No. Just standing there, his head tipped to one side, looking like he was laughing.” Suzie’s smile shone like sunshine on a cloudy day.

“That man had to drag him away,” Todd said. “I think the dog wants to play with us.”

“You should have seen him in the kitchen after he’d been drinking out of the toilet,” Suzie continued. “He came running off the carpet and couldn’t stop. He slid right into the cupboard, feet up in the air. It looked so…so…” Suzie couldn’t continue, she was laughing so hard.

Janie’s heart contracted at the sound of her children’s laughter, at their smiles and sparkling eyes. How long had it been since they’d been this happy?

Since before Owen left, that’s when. In spite of his many failings as a husband, he could, at times, have fun with the kids. Make them laugh. Do goofy things with them.

Things Janie never had time to do.

“But then I had to bring him downstairs.” Suzie glanced at Janie, and she saw her daughter’s mirth subside. As if it was her fault the fun had ended.

“What did the dog do on the bed?” Janie asked, trying to maintain the moment.

“Nothing. He didn’t do anything.”

Her voice had taken on a defensive tone that usually set Janie’s teeth on edge, but in this case, it cut her like a knife. Suzie had misunderstood Janie’s question.

Suzie held out her hand to Autumn. “Let’s go play upstairs.”

Janie felt a palpable cooling of the atmosphere as Autumn and Todd walked with their sister up the stairs.

Messed up again, she thought.

And for a moment the loneliness of parenthood settled on her like a musty old cloak. Always the boss. Always the cop, judge and jury. Always the one to end the fun.

“I think I’ll be going,” her mother said, brushing her hands on a handkerchief. “You should check upstairs. I’m sure there’s going to be dog hair everywhere.” Tilly shuddered.

“Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

“That’s what mothers do when babysitters leave you hanging.” Tilly’s amber eyes took stock of her daughter. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

“Mother, you’re making more of this than necessary.”

“I’m a little worried about that dog being next door.”

“The town has a leash law. If Luke doesn’t keep him tied up, he’ll have the cops to reckon with.”

“Well, he better keep it under control. The fence between the two yards isn’t that strong. He could easily cross it. And then who knows what will happen?”

Janie had her worries as well about the fence and the dog, but if her concerns were put in order, these would be at the bottom of page four.

For now, she had a family to keep going, a business to keep above water, a loan to renegotiate, a hot water tank that needed replacing, gutters that needed cleaning, a roof that needed to be reshingled, a wall that needed repairing…

And stop. Focus on the now.

“…and your father is going to be gone most of this month on some business, so if you need anything, I’ll be glad to help,” Tilly said.

“Sure. Thanks, Mom. I appreciate the help.”

Tilly’s smile softened. “I want you to know I’m praying for you. I know it’s been a year and a half since Owen died, but I’m sure you still have your difficult moments.”

And again Janie kept her reply vague. Her mother still didn’t understand that Janie hadn’t missed Owen since he walked out on her and the kids three years earlier.

Owen around had proved to be more dangerous than Owen gone. Owen gone didn’t drain her bank account. Owen gone didn’t make her feel as if she and the children were a huge impediment to his happiness. Owen gone was a relief, and his death had morphed her from abandoned woman to widow, an infinitely more respectable situation.

“I’m sure there are times you wish you had someone, though,” Tilly continued, laying her hand on Janie’s arm. “I keep praying that the Lord will bring someone into your life. Someone who can be a father to your children and a support to you.”

And how was she supposed to answer that? The last thing Janie needed or wanted right now was a man in her life. A man would be one more obligation she didn’t have time for. A man would mean opening her life, once again, to the possibility of brokenness and rejection.

No thanks. Her life was chaotic, but as long as she kept a rein on her various obligations and duties, she was okay. One tiny change would disrupt the precarious hold she had on her life right now. Her children were her first priority, and there was no way she was going to push them aside for a man.

She gave her mother a smile to put her off the scent. “I’m so thankful for your and Dad’s support.”

“You know your father would give you more…”

“No, Mom, really. We’re fine.”

“Just a suggestion.” Tilly pecked her on the cheek. “Now go and take care of those lovely children of yours.”

And with that, Tilly left.

Janie closed the door behind her mother and then leaned against it, sighing. What on earth had gotten her mother going on that particular tack?

Surely not the man who had come barreling into her life just a few moments ago.

Her thoughts slipped back to the man who had stood in her house. The man who had given her a crooked smile that seemed to hint at interest.