The Cowboy's Christmas Baby

She guessed this was from his rodeo accident almost a year back. Lauren had alluded to it in the texts they had exchanged the past few months.

Sadness winged through her. How much had changed for both of them since that summer, all those years ago.

She took a few steps almost getting bowled over by a young woman.

“Hey, Dean, wait up,” the woman called and while Erin watched she ran up to him, tucking her arm in his. She was slender, tall, her brown hair shining in the sunlight, her trim figure enhanced by a snug tank top and denim pants. “You coming to the dance on Friday night? I was hoping you’d save a waltz for me.” She slid a red-painted fingernail down his arm. Her head tipped to one side as she obviously flirted with him.

Erin recognized Kelly Sands, a girl a few years younger than both of them, daughter of a local, wealthy rancher. She remembered Kelly as a somewhat spoiled girl who loved a good time more than she loved the consequences of it.

“I doubt I’ll be going to any dance,” Erin heard Dean say, his voice gruff.

“Oh, c’mon. It will be fun. We can hang out. Like old times.”

Then for some reason Dean glanced back at her and Erin saw herself through his eyes.

Hair pulled up in a sloppy bun. T-shirt with a ketchup stain from when she held Caitlin while trying to wolf down a hot dog. Yoga pants worn for comfort and ease of movement and flip-flops for the same reason.

Yeah. Not so much to compare to.

Then just as Erin was about to step into the café Kelly turned to see where Dean was looking. She frowned her puzzlement and then suddenly her smile grew brighter. “Hey, Erin. Wow. I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“It’s been a few years,” Erin admitted, her pride stung that while Kelly, who barely knew her, could see the difference between her and Lauren and Dean couldn’t.

“And look at you. With a baby.” Kelly let go of Dean’s arm and scurried over, lifting the cloth covering the car seat. “Oh, my goodness. She’s adorable.” Kelly looked up at her. “I’m guessing from the pink sleeper she’s a girl.”

“Yes. She is.”

“I didn’t know you were married,” Kelly continued, covering Caitlin again and, as Dean had, looking at her left hand.

Erin didn’t want to blush or feel a recurrence of the shame that she struggled to deal with.

So she looked Kelly straight in the eye. “I’m not.”

The girl released a surprised laugh, as if she didn’t believe her. “Really? You of all people?”

Erin wasn’t going to dignify that with a response so she simply kept her chin up, figuratively and literally, and held Kelly’s gaze, saying nothing.

“I guess people really do change,” Kelly said. Then with a dismissive shrug of her shoulder she walked back to Dean. “And I’ll see you on Saturday,” she told him, her hand lingering on his arm.

Erin pulled her gaze away, wondering why she cared who Dean hung out with. But as she looked over at the door of the Grill and Chill, Dean’s reaction lingered, as did Kelly’s comment.

If she went inside she would probably meet someone she knew. And face more of what she’d just dealt with.

She couldn’t handle more censure, puzzled glances and assumptions.

So in spite of the thirst parching her throat, she put Caitlin back in the car.

Then she headed home.

* * *

“Just drop me off at home,” Dean said as Vic turned off Main Street, heading toward the highway and the Rocking M. “I don’t feel like coming with you to Lauren’s place.”

“Home is twenty miles out of the way.” Vic shot his brother a questioning glance. “And I promised Lauren I’d get these groceries to her as soon as possible. I guess Erin is supposed to be arriving late this afternoon.”

Actually, she would be there sooner.

But Dean wasn’t going to mention that to Vic. He was still absorbing the shock seeing Erin had given him. He still didn’t know how he had mistaken her for Lauren.

Though they were twins, Lauren’s eyes were gray; Erin’s a soft blue. Lauren’s hair was blonder, Erin’s held a tinge of copper. And Erin had always had a quiet aloofness that he’d viewed as a constant challenge.

Seeing her again so easily erased the years since they were last together. One look into those blue eyes and once again he was the brash young man who was willing to take another chance at rejection from Erin McCauley. Once again he felt the sting of her steady refusals.

And then she’d pulled the car seat out of the back of the car and he felt as if his world had spun in another direction.

He hadn’t known she had a baby. Or that she was married, though she wasn’t wearing a ring. Neither Lauren nor Jodie mentioned a husband.

When he’d taken a closer look at her, he’d seen the hollowness of her cheeks, a dullness to her eyes. When she’d told Kelly she wasn’t married his world took another tumble.

Erin McCauley was always the unobtainable. Elusive. He had always known she was too good for him. And now, here she was. A single mother.

“I want to get working on that toolshed I promised Mom I’d finish,” he said, wishing he could forget about Erin, frustrated at the effect she had on him. “And I’m tired.”

He hoped his brother would accept his excuse and drive out of his way to bring Dean home but he doubted it. Vic was still in that glazed-eye stage of romance and would take advantage of any chance to see his fiancée.

“Tired and sullen from the sounds of things,” Vic said with a laugh. “I’m sure Mom won’t care if you’re a day late on the shed. Besides, you didn’t have to come to town with me today. I wouldn’t have minded if you checked the cows in the higher pasture.”

“They were okay when you rode up there last week. I doubt much has changed.”

“We’ve always checked them regularly,” Vic said but Dean ignored the comment. He had accepted Vic’s invitation to go to town precisely because he felt grumpy and guilty about not checking the cows. But he had hoped Vic wouldn’t nag him about not riding.

Dean hadn’t been on a horse since that bad toss off a saddle bronc that had shattered his leg and put his dreams of a rodeo career on hold. Vic had been at him to continue his therapy, to cowboy up and get back on the horse.

But Dean wasn’t about to admit to his brother why he didn’t do either.

“I know we do, but I was busy. That’s why I want to get working on that shed for Mom.” He knew he was wasting his argument but couldn’t give up without one last push. He really didn’t want to see Erin again. Especially not after he’d made that stupid joke about Lauren’s “uptight” sister.

“Then the shed is two days late instead of one.” Vic shrugged, turning onto the highway heading toward the Circle M ranch where Lauren and Jodie were waiting for their sister.

If they did a quick drop-off he and Vic could be on their way home before Erin arrived. When he’d met her it looked as if she was headed into the Grill and Chill so there was a possibility.

But Vic was whistling some vague country song, which meant his brother was happy about seeing his fiancée again. Which meant Dean would have to watch Lauren and Vic give each other those stupid, secret smiles. And the occasional kiss.

He was happy for his brother. Truly.

But ever since his girlfriend Tiffany broke up with him, less than twenty minutes before the ride he’d injured himself on, Dean had struggled with a combination of anger and betrayal.

Being dumped just before a ride that could have put him on the road to a major title was bad enough. Finding out that she was leaving him for his brother, whom she’d had a secret crush on the whole time they were dating only added insult to the actual injury he’d been dealt.