Role Play

‘Oh — well, that I’m sorry for the things I’ve done that have annoyed them over the years, that I’ve forgiven them for things they’ve done — that I love them. I don’t know. I want to give Gerry a foolproof list of instructions for bringing up the girls, and I want to answer all their questions before they even occur to them to ask, and I want to be sure that they’re equipped for the world. It’s such a ghastly place, and I don’t know how they’ll cope … Basically I think I just want to leave everything in order before I say goodbye, but I don’t know how to start.’

Leo leaned across and squeezed her hand. ‘Everyone’s different, but we all have our own way of coping. Some of us are just better at it than others, and at the moment Gerry’s way of coping is denial. Don’t worry, I’ll try and talk to him and see if I can help him come to terms with it so you can talk to each other and say all the things that need to be said.’

She sighed shakily. ‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it — not when the crunch comes.’

‘You will,’ Leo assured her softly. ‘When the time comes, you’ll find the way — and if you still can’t there are plenty of people available who can help you to start talking to each other about it.’

Mary gazed wistfully across the garden for a while, then turned back to them with a sigh. ‘I think Gerry’s angry with me for leaving him.’

‘I expect he is. He doesn’t want to be a widower in his forties with the responsibility for bringing up two young girls.’

Mary gave a lop-sided grin. ‘I’m not exactly ecstatic about it myself!’

Leo’s mouth softened in a gentle smile of understanding. ‘No — no, I imagine you aren’t, but for you at least dying will be the end of the road. For them, in many ways, it’s just the beginning, and that’s bound to be frightening. Fear often makes us angry.’

Abbie watched as Mary’s face became pensive. ‘I don’t know how they’ll cope.’

‘We’ll be here for them — they can talk to the staff at the hospice, and all the staff at our practice are at their disposal. They know that. All of us are able to help with practical as well as emotional issues, and the social services are very good. What about your solicitor?’