Rekindled Hearts

“I know you will.” One last squeeze of her hand and then Jill walked away.

Lexi stood in the doorway for a few minutes, waiting until the last second before she turned and walked inside. Colt hadn’t shown up. She shrugged off disappointment. Like so many other times in her life, she told herself that it didn’t matter.

People weren’t always there when you expected or needed them. She had learned that early on from parents who had been busy with careers; their child had been an afterthought. It had almost become that way with Colt and his job. He had been obsessed with catching the guy that shot Gavin.

Lexi sat down in her customary pew and opened the hymnal. Her vision blurred a little and she blinked to clear the mist. It was lonely, walking in by herself, watching families take their seats, settling children on their laps or next to them with crayons and pieces of paper or coloring books.

She had always wanted to be one of those families. As a kid she had gone to church with neighbors, the Clines, because her parents had been busy with their real estate business and hadn’t had time. Sundays her parents did brunch and talked to prospective clients.

The Cline family had been her ideal family. They had played basketball in the evenings, and they walked their dogs together. They had gone to church together every Sunday and every Wednesday. And when she had eaten dinner with them, they had joined hands and prayed.

She had wanted that family. For a lot of years that family, more than faith, had been what she longed for.

She sighed and closed her eyes. Footsteps caught her attention and then a movement and someone scooting in next to her. She looked up, swallowing delight and fear as Colt sat next to her.

“Stop looking at me like that, Lexi.” He reached for a hymnal and glanced at the one she held before flipping to the correct page.

For the first time in a long time, she had someone next to her. But she still felt alone. She was alone. Colt had a house on the other side of town and she had a divorce decree in her safe.

Colt sat through the sermon, his ex-wife next to him, and a couple of hundred pairs of eyes glancing occasionally in their direction. Due to the renewed attendance of the faithful, extra chairs had been hauled into the sanctuary to create more seating. Even Dan Garrison, Greg’s dad, was in attendance. Colt figured Dan had been out of church longer than he had.

The disaster of the tornado had brought out church members that hadn’t darkened the doors in years.

He knew because when he patrolled on Sundays he saw the overflowing parking lot. He had seen it before; a disaster brought new congregants, and the return of old. Some stayed in church. After a few months, most of them would go back to Sunday sports and forget promises to God.

Promises—to God, to Lexi and to himself. Those were the promises that Colt remembered. The day of the tornado, when Lexi lost consciousness for a short period of time, he had made some bargains with God.

He had made promises that he didn’t know how to keep.

He pulled at the back of his collar and moved in the seat as his attention wavered and then was pulled back to Michael Garrison’s sermon. The words were the same as so many other sermons, about trusting God in good times and bad. But there was some honesty that took Colt by surprise. Everyone has doubts from time to time. God can handle it. God can’t always undo the reality of life on this planet, but He can give us faith to get through. What we have to do is rely on Him, even when doubts arise.

Colt had plenty of doubts. He closed his eyes, remembering how it felt to drive up on Gavin’s patrol car that night, and to find his friend, a county officer, on the highway, bleeding—gasping for his last breath.

Powerless to help, Colt had cried out to God. He remembered that moment, kneeling on the highway, promising his friend things—promising to pray, promising to take care of a man’s wife.

He had made bargains that night, too. As if he could make deals with God.

A hand rested on his arm. He lifted his head and opened his eyes. Lexi sat next to him, real, breathing and no longer a part of his life. Not really.

“You okay?”

“What?” He looked around. The sermon was over, people were standing up.

“I asked if you’re okay. I know this isn’t easy.”

“But I’m here.”

“You’re here.” She looked far too hopeful.

“I’m here because I promised. And because I have to cook.”

“Poor Colt, always being held hostage by that sense of commitment you prize.”

“Sarcasm isn’t you, Lexi.” He stood and she followed him toward the back door. He had parked his car back there and he had seen the grills already set up and ready to go.

“Maybe it’s the new me.” Relentless, Lexi kept up with him.

“I don’t think so.” He turned, smiling because she looked pretty in the deep blue dress and high heels. She was thin and tanned, and her hair hung like silk past her shoulders.

“Any leads on the identity of the little girl, Kasey?” She asked the question out of the blue. But not. Of course she’d want to know about a child.

He opened the door for her, and she slid through. He followed, out into bright afternoon sunshine and dry, late-summer heat. The charcoal in the grills had been lit and a few men were already cooking burgers.

Colt opened a cooler and pulled out a box of premade hamburger patties. Lexi stood at his side, waiting for an answer.

“No, I haven’t learned anything. I put articles in papers from surrounding areas, and the national news covered it a few weeks ago.”

“I saw that. You would think someone would be claiming the precious little thing.”

“Her parents are out there somewhere. I just hope they’re…” He couldn’t say it. Lexi nodded; she understood. They all hoped and prayed that the child’s parents were alive.

But if they were alive, what did that say about them? A living, breathing, caring parent would have claimed her. Right?

Or grandparents.

“You’ll find her family.” Lexi broke apart a few frozen burgers. He placed them on the grill as she handed them over.

“I don’t know, Lexi. I feel like I haven’t done enough.”

“You always feel that way, Colt. You’ve done everything, and you’re still beating yourself up, thinking the whole world needs you to take care of it.” She shot him a dark blue look of accusation in eyes that shimmered and then didn’t.

She was a lot stronger than he’d ever given her credit for.

When they first met, back in college, he’d treated her like a china doll that needed to be taken care of. Now she took care of thousand-pound horses and wrestled with sick cows. Today she looked like a princess. Tomorrow he’d probably see her in that truck of hers, wearing a stained T-shirt, faded jeans and work boots.

He smiled and he hadn’t meant to.

Lexi smiled back. She backed a step away, a retreat, still smiling. She looked like someone who had just won a battle. He didn’t know what he’d lost or what ground she’d gained. But somehow it mattered.

“I’m going to help with the children. They’re blowing bubbles.” Lexi touched his arm, her hand sliding down to his, pausing there for a minute and then breaking contact.

“Okay.” He could have said more, but he would have stammered. Not the way for a man to prove he was in control of a situation.

He watched her walk away, pulling her hair back with a clip as she went. He remembered those clips and how he used to like to pull them loose as she leaned over her desk.

At one time he would have leaned over her and kissed her neck, and she would have smiled, but pretended to ignore him.

“Colt, your grill’s on fire.”