Rekindled Hearts

“You are mad.”

His words were an unfair reminder that she shouldn’t be thinking of him in his uniform. She shouldn’t be thinking of him at all, except to be angry with him.

“I’m not mad.” She was confused and hurt. She’d spent six hours in a basement, wondering if they would get out and if they had let go of something they should have fought harder to keep. He didn’t want to hear that.

True to form, Colt grabbed the wheelbarrow and headed for the pile of rocks she had started earlier in the day. That was his way of saying they weren’t going to talk about it—discussion closed.

He dumped the load of stones, and then turned. “Lexi, I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do this?” She glanced around, at the stones, at the mess, knowing that wasn’t what he meant.

“We can’t go back. We have to move forward.”

She nodded, wondering if that meant he had felt something in that basement, too. Had those hours made him question their divorce? But he wouldn’t talk. She knew that, because this was as far as their conversations ever went. They wouldn’t talk about the divorce or their feelings for one another. They had never talked about Gavin’s death and what that had meant to their marriage or the family they had planned to have.

She couldn’t blame it all on him. Her own fears, the thought of losing Colt the way Gavin’s wife had lost him, had added to the problem.

She followed his gaze to the open green area between Main Street and the High Plains River. There were still piles of debris to be cleaned up. The path of the storm had been long and wide.

Lexi’s most recent phone bill had been found thirty miles away. Someone had called to let her know that it was being sent back. Others had found their family photos, tax documents and receipts scattered in fields and nearby towns.

All over town, people were starting over. They were rebuilding. Or they were moving on.

Lexi was sharing her home with animals that had been found wandering the area. Many hadn’t been claimed.

“We need to get to work.” Colt picked up a stone. “Don’t forget your gloves.”

She started to remind him that she wasn’t his to take care of. Instead she pulled on the gloves she had shoved into her pockets. What she wanted to do was remind him of their discussion in the basement. Even with a head injury, she hadn’t forgotten that they were going to stop fighting. They were going to be friends.

Colt moved closer, his gaze drifting past her and then back to her face. “Lex, there’s too much going on around here. We have a child without parents. Jesse Logan’s wife is dead and his babies had to fight to survive. We have a town that needs our help rebuilding.”

“I know. But, Colt, we can work together without it being weird. We really can be friends.”

He nodded and looked away again. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” She touched the scar at her hairline. “The headaches are gone.”

“Good, I’m glad. I’m glad your mom came to help you after you got out of the hospital.”

“She stayed a few days.”

“At least she came.”

Yes, Lexi’s mom had visited. And she’d spent three days telling Lexi what a huge mistake every detail of her life had been. Marrying Colt, a mistake. Becoming a veterinarian, bigger mistake. Staying in High Plains after her divorce, the biggest mistake.

Lexi smiled again. “Snake.”

Colt jumped and turned. No snake. He shot her a look and then he smiled. “Cute, real cute.”

“I still think it’s funny that you can square off with bad guys, brave a tornado, and yet you’re afraid of a little ole snake.”

“They bite.”

“Right.” She reached for a block. It crumbled in her hands and she tossed it into the pile of debris.

“Did you know that the town hall was destroyed by a tornado in 1860?” Colt pushed the wheelbarrow a few feet.

“I did know that. High Plains had to rebuild after that storm, and we’ll rebuild again. We’re tough people. We’re pioneers. It’s in our blood.” She wiped her brow. “And we have a lot of faith.”

“Yes, faith.” His voice turned sarcastic. “And God rewarded us with this.” A wide sweep of his arm took in the destruction that had once been a town.

“God didn’t do this, Colt. You know that.” She didn’t want to have the faith argument with him, not now. Hers was still too new, still growing.

“I know He didn’t. I just question why He allowed so many people to suffer, to be hurt.”

“No one has an answer to why bad things happen. But look at the people who were protected. He put Tommy in front of Gregory Garrison’s office at the right moment, in time to be saved. What if he had been somewhere else? What if I had gone to my basement? What if Chico hadn’t been running loose, and you hadn’t brought him to me? Where would you have been?”

“We still can’t find Tommy’s dog.” Colt said it like a last-ditch attempt at proving her faith wrong.

“I’m praying Tommy’s dog is out there. We’ve found other animals that we thought were lost for good.”

“That’s the difference between me and you, Lexi. You have faith that He really is up there, taking time for us. I look at this town and wonder where He was that day in July when we needed Him. I wonder where He was when Gavin got shot on that highway outside of town.”

“He was there with Gavin, and now Gavin is with Him.” She flinched against the anger in Colt’s eyes, but she didn’t back down. “And on that day in July, He was sheltering a little girl this town named Kasey, and watching over a boy named Tommy.”

“So He saved some and not others. Look at this ravaged building, right next to the church, but the church is still standing.”

“I think you lost that argument. The church is still standing. Solid. I think that sometimes bad things happen and we find faith to get through, to find purpose and to move on.”

“Is that what you’ve done, found faith?”

“Yes, I’ve found faith, Colt. I’ve found what I spent my childhood searching for.” And what she thought she’d find in a marriage to him. It had taken divorce for faith to become real in her life. “And whether you want to admit it or not, you still have faith. You’ve just buried it beneath anger and resentment.”

“I can’t have this conversation right now.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to preach.”

He laughed and leaned, his forehead resting against hers. “Yes, you did.”

No, she hadn’t. But it felt good, to be able to defend what she believed. Church was more than a place she went to hide. It was more than the fairy tale she’d believed in as a child, the place she went to, looking for a happy-ever-after.

Finding faith was the one good thing that came out of her divorce.

Colt knew that he should back away from Lexi. But he couldn’t. He had almost lost her in that tornado. Not a day went by that he didn’t think about that, and about his life without her in it. But she wasn’t really in his life, not now. He had made that choice, to separate and then divorce.

He stepped back, aware as always that she was beautiful. She was a city girl who wore blazers and scarves. She had come to him with everything, and nothing. She had wanted a family. And babies.

She wanted lots of babies.