Once Cold

“Sounds great!” Lucy said.

Riley shook her head.

“Not today, thanks. Some other time. You two go ahead.”

Bill and Lucy left the huge VR room. For a moment, Riley wondered whether maybe she should go with them after all.

No, I’d be lousy company, she thought.

Ryan’s words kept echoing through her mind …

“Riley, Jilly was your decision.”

Ryan really had some nerve, turning his back on poor Jilly.

But Riley wasn’t angry now. Instead, she felt achingly sad.

But why?

Slowly she realized …

None of it’s real.

My whole life, everything’s fake.

Her hopes for becoming a family again with Ryan and the kids had just been an illusion.

Just like this damned simulation.

She fell to her knees and started to sob.

It took a few minutes for Riley to pull herself together. Grateful that no one had spotted her collapse, she got to her feet and headed back to her office. As soon as she stepped inside, her desk phone started ringing.

She knew who was calling.

She was expecting it.

And she knew that the conversation wasn’t going to be easy.

CHAPTER FIVE

“Hello, Riley,” a woman’s voice said when Riley picked up the phone.

It was a sweet voice – quavering and feeble with age, but friendly.

“Hello, Paula,” Riley said. “How are you?”

The caller sighed.

“Well, you know – today’s always hard.”

Riley understood. Paula’s daughter, Tilda, had been killed on this day twenty-five years ago.

“I hope you don’t mind my calling,” Paula said.

“Of course not, Paula,” Riley assured her.

After all, Riley had initiated their rather peculiar relationship years ago. Riley had never actually worked on the case that included Tilda’s murder. She had gotten in touch with the victim’s mother long after the case had gone cold.

This annual call between them had been a ritual for years.

Riley still found it strange, having these conversations with someone she’d never met. She didn’t even know what Paula looked like. She knew that Paula was sixty-eight now. She had been forty-three, just three years older than Riley, when her daughter was murdered. Riley imagined her as a kindly, gray-haired, grandmotherly figure.

“How is Justin?” Riley asked.

Riley had talked to Paula’s husband a couple of times, but had never gotten to know him.

Paula sighed again.

“He passed away last summer.”

“I’m sorry,” Riley said. “How did it happen?”

“It was sudden, completely out of the blue. It was an aneurysm – or maybe a heart attack. They offered to do an autopsy to determine which it was. I said, ‘Why bother?’ It wasn’t going to bring him back.”

Riley felt terrible for the woman. She knew that Tilda had been her only daughter. The loss of her husband couldn’t be easy.

“How are you coping?” Riley asked.

“One day at a time,” Paula said. “It’s lonely here now.”

There was a note of almost unbearable sadness in her voice, as if she felt ready to join her husband in death.

Riley found such loneliness hard to imagine. She felt a burst of gratitude to have caring people in her life – April, Gabriela, and now Jilly. Riley had endured fears of losing all of them. April had been seriously endangered more than once.

And of course, there were wonderful old friends, like Bill. He had also faced more than his share of risks.

I won’t ever take them for granted, she thought.

“And how about you, dear?” Paula asked.

Maybe that was why Riley felt as though she could talk with Paula about things that she couldn’t with most people.

“Well, I’m in the process of adopting a thirteen-year-old girl. That’s been an adventure. Oh, and Ryan came back for a while. Then he took off again. Another sweet young thing caught his eye.”

“How awful for you!” Paula said. “I was lucky with Justin. He never strayed. And I suppose in the long run he was lucky too. He went quickly, no lingering pain or suffering. I hope when my time comes …”

Paula’s voice trailed off.