Father For Keeps

It seemed, after all, natural and sweet to sit in the darkening evening with Sean while their baby tugged at her breast. Sean’s eyes were mostly on her face, but every now and then he’d reach out a hand to stroke the back of the baby’s head ever so gently.

When she was finished, she sat Caroline on her knee and patted her back. “Let me do that,” Sean said, reaching for the baby.

“Careful, she might spit up,” Kate warned, and helped him arrange the blanket over his trousers in case of any sudden eruptions. She fastened up her dress, then sat back against the tree to watch Sean minister to their baby. The sight made her throat fill.

After several minutes, she said, “She’ll sleep now if you want to put her down in the basket.”

He smiled and gave Caroline a final hug, which she returned by putting her chubby arms around his neck. She made no protest as he put her down and carefully arranged the blanket around her.

“She’s half-asleep already,” he said, his voice tender and a bit awed.

The evening was beginning to grow cool. Kate untangled part of the blanket she was sitting on to wrap it around her shoulders. “We should be heading back, I guess,” she said sleepily. “But it’s nice here.”

Sean took a final look into Caroline’s basket, then went back to drop beside Kate, dragging the other blanket beneath him. “We can stay awhile longer, if you like. Jennie said you weren’t to worry about cleaning up at Sheridan House tonight.”

“She and Barnaby will handle everything just fine,” Kate agreed. “I don’t know what I would have done without them this past year.”

Sean stretched out on the blanket, propping himself on one elbow and looking up at her. “This past year when you should have had a husband with you to help in the burdens of bearing and raising your child.”

Kate looked down at him, her face serious. “Perhaps I was wrong not to contact you, Sean.”

“No ‘perhaps’ about it, Kate. But there’s no way to relive the past. The question is, what are we going to do now?”

The meat pie she’d eaten seemed to be stuck at the base of her throat. She remembered the conversation earlier with Barnaby, so certain that Sean would want to marry her. And as much as the young orphan hated the thought of losing Caroline, he’d thought she’d be better off with a father. “Why did you suddenly decide to come back, Sean? You’ve never really explained what brought you back here.” She held in a breath. Somehow the answer was vitally important to her.

Sean looked at her a long moment, his eyes unreadable in the increasing dusk. “I’ve told you, Kate. I never stopped thinking about you in all these months.”

“Surely there have been others.”

He shook his head. “I’m not a saint, I guess you know that better than anyone. But none of them seemed to mean anything after you. Every time I was accosted by one of the society belles on Nob Hill hunting a socially acceptable husband, all I could think about was my sweetheart up in the mountains. And when I’d try to forget you by carousing in one of the gambling halls down by the waterfront, the painted ladies would turn my stomach and make me long for the fresh white skin and clear blue eyes of the beauty I’d left behind.”

She wanted to believe his sincerity. But she’d believed him once before when he’d talked of love everlasting. It hadn’t even lasted through the spring.

“I have more than my own heart to guard now, Sean. I have my daughter’s, as well.”

He was quiet for such a long time that Kate wondered if he was beginning to fall asleep. But suddenly he sat up, moved to her side and put his arms around her.

“I’m going to break my promise and kiss you,” he said. “I swear it’s the last promise to you I’ll ever break.”

Chapter Four (#ulink_1f358653-dd44-5e38-a6e2-9be4286c6d01)

When he’d planned a drive away from town, Sean had anticipated that the privacy and distance would ignite the feelings that he and Kate had both been resisting for several days. But he’d planned to let her be the one to initiate things. He’d had every intention of continuing to play the role of gentleman until she gave him the word. But seeing her with his daughter had evoked emotions that he’d never before experienced. And when he’d heard the crack in her voice as she talked about entrusting him with her heart, he’d simply had to hold her. His mind, his body and something deeper than either of these were all combining to convince him that he could not live another second without feeling her in his arms.

Once she was there, nothing else seemed to matter. She’d not protested. In fact, she was willing and pliant. Within short moments, she was eager and yearning.

He kissed her, deeply, and she responded much more thoroughly than she had at her home the other day. So thoroughly that his entire body began to throb. “Ah, Katie,” he murmured. “How I’ve missed this. You feel so very right to me.”

She lay back in his arms and smiled up at him, her eyes shining in the light of the rising moon. “You feel right to me, too, Sean. Remember, how I told you that first time.?”

He kissed her forehead, then each of her eyes. “I was the one you had waited for, you said. I remember every single detail of that night.”

“On this very hill.”

“Yes, up there beyond the boulder.”

They smiled at the shared memory. Then Sean renewed his caresses, kissing the tip of her chin, then underneath it and along the length of her neck. He tasted her earlobe, then whispered, “I thought I never could want anything as much as I wanted you that night, Katie, but I was wrong…because tonight I want you even more than I did then.”

She gave a little groan as she rocked against him, then asked, “Caroline?”

In an instant he released her, jumped to his feet and walked over to the carriage where he’d placed the baby’s basket on the seat. Before the night breeze could cool the warmth where his arms had been, he was back, rearranging the blanket as he joined her once again on the ground “We’ll hear her if she stirs. Right now she’s in dreamland.” He kissed her again, softly. “And I’m about to take her mother into a dreamland of a different sort.”

Kate had one last fleeting thought that she shouldn’t let herself be carried away. She had responsibilities now. She should be discussing Sean’s intentions, his plans. But all she could think about was the feel of his lips on her face, his hands moving firmly along her rib cage and coming to rest gently alongside each of her breasts. “Is it all right?” he asked, sounding suddenly unsure. “You’re not too sensitive?”

She felt incredibly sensitive at the moment, but not in the way he meant. It seemed as if every inch of her was quivering, waiting to feel his touch. In response to his question she began unfastening her dress and pulled his head down toward her full breasts. “Make love to me, Sean,” she murmured. And as she said the words she felt an immense need begin to build in the lower portion of her body. She moved her legs restlessly against him.

He sensed her urgency and pressed a hand against her private parts through her dress as he began an onslaught of deep, rhythmic, slow kisses. She opened her mouth to his, grasped his back and moved against his hand, the sensation building so quickly that before she knew what had happened she’d tumbled over the edge into quick convulsions of release.

Sean gave a little chuckle and held her tightly. “It’s been so long,” she said, hiding her face against his shoulder.

“I’m glad,” he said in a fierce, low voice. “I’m glad no one else found you in all these months that I was foolish enough to leave you here by yourself. Now you’re mine again, Katie Marie. And this time I’m not letting you go.”

His declaration seemed to spur him to action. In short order he had discarded both her clothing and his own. Neither noticed the cool night air on their burning skin. It was enough that they were together again, flesh against flesh, their mouths seeking each other with needy, almost desperate kisses, their hands touching everywhere, relearning the once familiar paths to passion.

“I love you,” Kate breathed without conscious thought as their bodies joined, and as they moved together and the feeling spiraled, the words spiraled, too, in her head. “Love you, love you, love you.” Until finally once again the wave of feeling broke over her, and this time Sean shared the moment, clutching her more tightly as he climaxed inside her.

Afterward they lay totally still for several long moments, each lost in private thoughts. Sean was the first to speak. “I’m sorry, Katie, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Kate froze, then felt her heart plunge. But even as she struggled to hold back the sob that rose in her throat, Sean continued, “I’d meant to get you to agree to marry me before we did this again.”

There was a rushing behind her ears. All the doubts that had surfaced earlier when she was talking to Barnaby and on the drive up here dissipated like dust in a rainstorm. She sank back against his arm and smiled with joy and relief. “Did you now?” she asked.

He tucked her snugly against him and kissed her cheek. “Caroline needs a father.”

Her smile dimmed a bit. She’d hoped for a more romantic declaration, but perhaps she shouldn’t be so particular. Sean must love her if he wanted to marry her. After all, he’d come back to Vermillion to find her before he knew anything about the baby.

He didn’t seem to notice her hesitation. Smiling at her, he gave her a playful kiss. “And who knows, we may already have started on a little brother for her. I’d say it’s more than high time we were married, young lady.”

She chuckled. “I’m not a young lady anymore, Sean. I’m a mother now.”

He stroked her soft skin from her shoulder to her hip. “No one would believe it, Katie. You’re more beautiful than ever.”

She moved beneath his hand with a murmur of contentment. “You truly want to marry me? I’m not dreaming this?”

He stopped his caress and rolled away from her. “We keep getting things backward, sweetheart. I wanted to do this proper, but I can’t think straight when I have you naked in my arms.”

He gathered up her clothes and handed them to her, then stood to don his own. He was dressed before she. The first stars had just begun to appear alongside the quarter moon in the dark sky. By their light, he helped her fasten up her dress and straightened her shawl around her. When she was properly attired, he dropped to one knee in front of her and took her hand. “Miss Kate Sheridan,” he said, his voice low and vibrant, “I would consider myself the luckiest man on earth if you would do me the honor of granting me your hand in marriage.”

Kate felt the tears smart her eyes and her nostrils. She nodded, then, unsure if he could see in the darkness, she said, “Yes. I do. I mean…I’ll marry you.” She laughed. “I don’t know what one’s supposed to say.”