Ship's Company, the Entire Collection

“I’d give more than that to get ‘im back,” said Mrs. Gibbs, wildly. “I believe you’re deceiving me.”

“True as I stand ‘ere,” asseverated the other. “He’s only a minute or two off, and if it wasn’t for you screaming I’d go out and fetch ‘im in.”

“I won’t scream,” said Mrs. Gibbs, “not if I know it’s flesh and blood. Oh, where is he? Why don’t you bring ‘im in? Let me go to ‘im.”

“All right,” said Mr. Kidd, with a satisfied smile at Mr. Brown; “all in good time. I’ll go and fetch ‘im now; but, mind, if you scream you’ll spoil everything.”

He bustled cheerfully out of the room and downstairs, and Mrs. Gibbs, motioning Mr. Brown to silence, stood by the door with parted lips, waiting. Three or four minutes elapsed.

“‘Ere they come,” said Mr. Brown, as footsteps sounded on the stairs. “Now, no screaming, mind!”

Mrs. Gibbs drew back, and, to the gratification of all concerned, did not utter a sound as Mr. Kidd, followed by her husband, entered the room. She stood looking expectantly towards the doorway.

“Where is he?” she gasped.

“Eh?” said Mr. Kidd, in a startled voice. “Why here. Don’t you know ‘im?”

“It’s me, Susan,” said Mr. Gibbs, in a low voice.

“Oh, I might ‘ave known it was a joke,” cried Mrs. Gibbs, in a faint voice, as she tottered to a chair. “Oh, ‘ow cruel of you to tell me my pore Joe was alive! Oh, ‘ow could you?”

“Lor’ lumme,” said the incensed Mr. Kidd, pushing Mr. Gibbs forward. “Here he is. Same as you saw ‘im last, except for ‘is whiskers. Don’t make that sobbing noise; people’ll be coming in.”

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Take ‘im away,” cried Mrs. Gibbs. “Go and play your tricks with somebody else’s broken ‘art.”

“But it’s your husband,” said Mr. Brown.

“Take ‘im away,” wailed Mrs. Gibbs.

Mr. Kidd, grinding his teeth, tried to think. “‘Ave you got any marks on your body, Joe?” he inquired.

“I ain’t got a mark on me,” said Mr. Gibbs with a satisfied air, “or a blemish. My skin is as whi—”

“That’s enough about your skin,” interrupted Mr. Kidd, rudely.

“If you ain’t all of you gone before I count ten,” said Mrs. Gibbs, in a suppressed voice, “I’ll scream. ‘Ow dare you come into a respectable woman’s place and talk about your skins? Are you going? One! Two! Three! Four! Five!”

Her voice rose with each numeral; and Mr. Gibbs himself led the way downstairs, and, followed by his friends, slipped nimbly round the corner.

“It’s a wonder she didn’t rouse the whole ‘ouse,” he said, wiping his brow on his sleeve; “and where should we ha’ been then? I thought at the time it was a mistake you making me ‘ave my whiskers off, but I let you know best. She’s never seen me without ‘em. I ‘ad a remarkable strong growth when I was quite a boy. While other boys was—”

“Shut-up!” vociferated Mr. Kidd.

“Sha’n’t!” said Mr. Gibbs, defiantly. “I’ve ‘ad enough of being away from my comfortable little ‘ome and my wife; and I’m going to let ‘em start growing agin this very night. She’ll never reckernize me without ‘em, that’s certain.”

“He’s right, Bob,” said Mr. Brown, with conviction.

“D’ye mean to tell me we’ve got to wait till ‘is blasted whiskers grow?” cried Mr. Kidd, almost dancing with fury. “And go on keeping ‘im in idleness till they do?”

“You’ll get it all back out o’ my share,” said Mr. Gibbs, with dignity. “But you can please yourself. If you like to call it quits now, I don’t mind.”

Mr. Brown took his seething friend aside, and conferred with him in low but earnest tones. Mr. Gibbs, with an indifferent air, stood by whistling softly.

“‘Ow long will they take to grow?” inquired Mr. Kidd, turning to him with a growl.

Mr. Gibbs shrugged his shoulders. “Can’t say,” he replied; “but I should think two or three weeks would be enough for ‘er to reckernize me by. If she don’t, we must wait another week or so, that’s all.”

“Well, there won’t be much o’ your share left, mind that,” said Mr. Kidd, glowering at him.

“I can’t help it,” said Mr. Gibbs. “You needn’t keep reminding me of it.”

They walked the rest of the way in silence; and for the next fortnight Mr. Gibbs’s friends paid nightly visits to note the change in his appearance, and grumble at its slowness.

“We’ll try and pull it off to-morrow night,” said Mr. Kidd, at the end of that period. “I’m fair sick o’ lending you money.”

Mr. Gibbs shook his head and spoke sagely about not spoiling the ship for a ha’porth o’ tar; but Mr. Kidd was obdurate.

“There’s enough for ‘er to reckernize you by,” he said, sternly, “and we don’t want other people to. Meet us at the Monument at eight o’clock to-morrow night, and we’ll get it over.”

“Give your orders,” said Mr. Gibbs, in a nasty voice.

“Keep your ‘at well over your eyes,” commanded Mr. Kidd, sternly. “Put them spectacles on wot I lent you, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you tied your face up in a piece o’ red flannel.”

“I know wot I’m going to do without you telling me,” said Mr. Gibbs, nodding. “I’ll bet you pots round that you don’t either of you reckernize me tomorrow night.”

The bet was taken at once, and from eight o’clock until ten minutes to nine the following night Messrs. Kidd and Brown did their best to win it. Then did Mr. Kidd, turning to Mr. Brown in perplexity, inquire with many redundant words what it all meant.

“He must ‘ave gone on by ‘imself,” said Mr. Brown. “We’d better go and see.”

In a state of some disorder they hurried back to Wapping, and, mounting the stairs to Mrs. Gibbs’s room, found the door fast. To their fervent and repeated knocking there was no answer.

“Ah, you won’t make her ‘ear,” said a woman, thrusting an untidy head over the balusters on the next landing. “She’s gone.”

“Gone!” exclaimed both gentlemen. “Where?”

“Canada,” said the woman. “She went off this morning.”

Mr. Kidd leaned up against the wall for support; Mr. Brown stood open-mouthed and voiceless.

“It was a surprise to me,” said the woman, “but she told me this morning she’s been getting ready on the quiet for the last fortnight. Good spirits she was in, too; laughing like anything.”

“Laughing!” repeated Mr. Kidd, in a terrible voice.

The woman nodded. “And when I spoke about it and reminded ‘er that she ‘ad only just lost ‘er pore husband, I thought she would ha’ burst,” she said, severely. “She sat down on that stair and laughed till the tears ran dowwn ‘er face like water.”

Mr. Brown turned a bewildered face upon his partner. “Laughing!” he said, slowly. “Wot ‘ad she got to laugh at?”

“Two born-fools,” replied Mr. Kidd.