Night Watches

“‘You do as you’re told,’ I ses. ‘I’m in charge, and I take full responsibility. I shall lock the gate arter you. Wot are you worrying about?’

“‘And here’s a shilling, Joe, for a bus fare,’ ses the gal, smiling. ‘You can keep the change.’

“Joe took off ‘is cap and scratched ‘is silly bald ‘ead.

“‘Come on,’ I ses; ‘it’s a letter to a dressmaker. A letter that must go to-night.’

“‘Else it’s no use,’ ses the gal. ‘You don’t know ‘ow important it is.’

“‘All right,’ ses Joe. ‘’Ave it your own way. So long as you don’t tell the skipper I don’t mind. If anything ‘appens you’ll catch it too, Bill.’

“He climbed ashore, and I follered ‘im to the gate and unlocked it. He was screwing up ‘is eye ready for a wink, but I give ‘im such a look that he thought better of it, and, arter rubbing his eye with ‘is finger as though he ‘ad got a bit o’ dust in it, he went off.

“I locked the gate and went back to the cabin, and for some time we sat talking about fathers and the foolish ideas they got into their ‘eads, and things o’ that sort. So far as I remember, I ‘ad two more goes o’ whisky and one o’ the skipper’s cigars, and I was just thinking wot a beautiful thing it was to be alive and ‘ealthy and in good spirits, talking to a nice gal that understood wot you said a’most afore you said it, when I ‘eard three blows on a whistle.

“‘Wot’s that?’ I ses, starting up. ‘Police whistle?’

“‘I don’t think so,’ ses Miss Butt, putting her ‘and on my shoulder. ‘Sit down and stay where you are. I don’t want you to get hurt, if it is. Let somebody I don’t like go.’

“I sat down agin and listened, but there was no more whistling.

“‘Boy in the street, I expect,’ ses the gal, going into the state-room. ‘Oh, I’ve got something to show you. Wait a minute.’

“I ‘eard her moving about, and then she comes back into the cabin.

“‘I can’t find the key of my box,’ she ses, ‘and it’s in there. I wonder whether you’ve got a key that would open it. It’s a padlock.’

“I put my ‘and in my pocket and pulled out my keys. ‘Shall I come and try?’ I ses.

“‘No, thank you,’ she ses, taking the keys. ‘This looks about the size. What key is it?’

“‘It’s the key of the gate,’ I ses, ‘but I don’t suppose it’ll fit.’

“She went back into the state-room agin, and I ‘eard her fumbling at a lock. Then she came back into the cabin, breathing rather hard, and stood thinking.

“‘I’ve just remembered,’ she ses, pinching her chin. ‘Yes!’

“She stepped to the door and went up the companion-ladder, and the next moment I ‘eard a sliding noise and a key turn in a lock. I jumped to the foot of the ladder and, ‘ardly able to believe my senses, saw that the hatch was closed. When I found that it was locked too, you might ha’ knocked me down with a feather.

“I went down to the cabin agin, and, standing on the locker, pushed the skylight up with my ‘ead and tried to lookout. I couldn’t see the gate, but I ‘eard voices and footsteps, and a little while arterwards I see that gal coming along the wharf arm in arm with the young man she ‘ad told me she didn’t like, and dancing for joy. They climbed on to the schooner, and then they both stooped down with their hands on their knees and looked at me.

“‘Wot is it?’ ses the young man, grinning.

“‘It’s a watchman,’ ses the gal. ‘It’s here to take charge of the wharf, you know, and see that nobody comes on.’

“‘We ought to ha’ brought some buns for it,’ ses the young man; ‘look at it opening its mouth.’

“They both laughed fit to kill themselves, but I didn’t move a muscle.

“‘You open the companion,’ I ses, ‘or it’ll be the worse for you. D’ye hear? Open it!’

“‘Oh, Alfred,’ ses the gal, ‘he’s losing ‘is temper. Wotever shall we do?’

“‘I don’t want no more nonsense,’ I ses, trying to fix ‘er with my eye. ‘If you don’t let me out it’ll be the worse for you.’

“‘Don’t you talk to my young lady like that,’ ses the young man.

“‘Your young lady?’ I ses. ‘H’mm! You should ha’ seen ‘er ‘arf an hour ago.’

“The gal looked at me steady for a moment.

“‘He put ‘is nasty fat arm round my waist, Alfred,’ she ses.

“‘Wot!’ ses the young man, squeaking. ‘WOT!’

“He snatched up the mop wot that nasty, untidy cook ‘ad left leaning agin the side, and afore I ‘ad any idea of wot ‘e was up to he shoved the beastly thing straight in my face.

“‘Next time,’ he ses, ‘I’ll tear you limb from limb!’

“I couldn’t speak for a time, and when I could ‘e stopped me with the mop agin. It was like a chained lion being tormented by a monkey. I stepped down on to the cabin floor, and then I told ‘em both wot I thought of ‘em.

“‘Come along, Alfred,’ ses the gal, ‘else the cook’ll be back before we start.’

“‘He’s all right,’ ses the young man. ‘Minnie’s looking arter him. When I left he’d got ‘arf a bottle of whisky in front of ‘im.’

“‘Still, we may as well go,’ ses Miss Butt. ‘It seems a shame to keep the cab waiting.’

“‘All right,’ he ses. ‘I just want to give this old chump one more lick with the mop and then we’ll go.’

“He peeped down the skylight and waited, but I kept quite quiet, with my back towards ‘im.

“‘Come along,’ ses Miss Butt.

“‘I’m coming,’ he ses. ‘Hi! You down there! When the cap’n comes back tell ‘im that I’m taking Miss Butt to an aunt o’ mine in the country. And tell’im that in a week or two he’ll ‘ave the largest and nicest piece of wedding-cake he ‘as ever ‘ad in his life. So long!’

“‘Good-bye, watchman,’ ses the gal.

“They moved off without another word—from them, I mean. I heard the wicket slam and then I ‘eard a cab drive off over the stones. I couldn’t believe it at first. I couldn’t believe a gal with such beautiful blue eyes could be so hard-’earted, and for a long time I stood listening and hoping to ‘ear the cab come back. Then I stepped up to the companion and tried to shift it with my shoulders.

“I went back to the cabin at last, and arter lighting the lamp I ‘ad another sup o’ the skipper’s whisky to clear my ‘ead, and sat down to try and think wot tale I was to tell ‘im. I sat for pretty near three hours without thinking of one, and then I ‘eard the crew come on to the wharf.

“They was a bit startled when they saw my ‘ead at the skylight, and then they all started at the same time asking me wot I was doing. I told ‘em to let me out fust and then I’d tell ‘em, and one of ‘em ‘ad just stepped round to the companion when the skipper come on to the wharf and stepped aboard. He stooped down and peeped at me through the skylight as though he couldn’t believe ‘is eyesight, and then, arter sending the hands for’ard and telling ‘em to stay there, wotever ‘appened, he unlocked the companion and came down.”

THE UNDERSTUDY

Dogs on board ship is a nuisance,” said the night-watchman, gazing fiercely at the vociferous mongrel that had chased him from the deck of the Henry William; “the skipper asks me to keep an eye on the ship, and then leaves a thing like that down in the cabin.”

He leaned against a pile of empty casks to recover his breath, shook his fist at the dog, and said, slowly—