“Well, I s’pose I can stay and see ‘im?” ses Silas. “Me and ‘im used to be great pals at one time, and many’s the good turn I’ve done him. Wot time’ll he be ‘ome?”
“Any time after twelve,” ses Mrs. Burtenshaw; “but you’d better not be here then. You see, ‘im being in that condition, he might think you was your own ghost come according to promise and be frightened out of ‘is life. He’s often talked about it.”
Silas Winch scratched his head and looked at ‘er thoughtful-like.
“Why shouldn’t he mistake me for a ghost?” he ses at last; “the shock might do ‘im good. And, if you come to that, why shouldn’t I pretend to be my own ghost and warn ‘im off the drink?”
Mrs. Burtenshaw got so excited at the idea she couldn’t ‘ardly speak, but at last, arter saying over and over agin she wouldn’t do such a thing for worlds, she and Silas arranged that he should come in at about three o’clock in the morning and give Bill a solemn warning. She gave ‘im her key, and Silas said he’d come in with his ‘air and cap all wet and pretend he’d been drowned.
“It’s very kind of you to take all this trouble for nothing,” ses Mrs. Burtenshaw as Silas got up to go.
“Don’t mention it,” ses Silas. “It ain’t the fust time, and I don’t suppose it’ll be the last, that I’ve put myself out to help my feller-creeturs. We all ought to do wot we can for each other.”
“Mind, if he finds it out,” ses Mrs. Burtenshaw, all of a tremble, “I don’t know nothing about it. P’r’aps to make it more life-like I’d better pretend not to see you.”
“P’r’aps it would be better,” ses Silas, stopping at the street door. “All I ask is that you’ll ‘ide the poker and anything else that might be laying about handy. And you ‘ad better oil the lock so as the key won’t make a noise.”
Mrs. Burtenshaw shut the door arter ‘im, and then she went in and ‘ad a quiet sit-down all by ‘erself to think it over. The only thing that comforted ‘et was that Bill would be in licker, and also that ‘e would believe anything in the ghost line.
It was past twelve when a couple o’ pals brought him ‘ome, and, arter offering to fight all six of ‘em, one after the other, Bill hit the wall for getting in ‘is way, and tumbled upstairs to bed. In less than ten minutes ‘e was fast asleep, and pore Mrs. Burtenshaw, arter trying her best to keep awake, fell asleep too.
She was woke up suddenly by a noise that froze the marrer in ‘er bones— the most ‘art-rending groan she ‘ad ever heard in ‘er life; and, raising her ‘ead, she saw Silas Winch standing at the foot of the bed. He ‘ad done his face and hands over with wot is called loominous paint, his cap was pushed at the back of his ‘ead, and wet wisps of ‘air was hanging over his eyes. For a moment Mrs. Burtenshaw’s ‘art stood still and then Silas let off another groan that put her on edge all over. It was a groan that seemed to come from nothing a’most until it spread into a roar that made the room tremble and rattled the jug in the wash-stand basin. It shook everything in the room but Bill, and he went on sleeping like an infant. Silas did two more groans, and then ‘e leaned over the foot o’ the bed, and stared at Bill, as though ‘e couldn’t believe his eyesight.
“Try a squeaky one,” ses Mrs. Burtenshaw.
Silas tried five squeaky ones, and then he ‘ad a fit o’ coughing that would ha’ woke the dead, as they say, but it didn’t wake Bill.
“Now some more deep ones,” ses Mrs. Burtenshaw, in a w’isper.
Silas licked his lips—forgetting the paint—and tried the deep ones agin.
“Now mix ‘em a bit,” ses Mrs. Burtenshaw.
Silas stared at her. “Look ‘ere,” he ses, very short, “do you think I’m a fog-horn, or wot?”
He stood there sulky for a moment, and then ‘e invented a noise that nothing living could miss hearing; even Bill couldn’t. He moved in ‘is sleep, and arter Silas ‘ad done it twice more he turned and spoke to ‘is missis about it. “D’ye hear?” he ses; “stop it. Stop it at once.”
Mrs. Burtenshaw pretended to be asleep, and Bill was just going to turn over agin when Silas let off another groan. It was on’y a little one this time, but Bill sat up as though he ‘ad been shot, and he no sooner caught sight of Silas standing there than ‘e gave a dreadful ‘owl and, rolling over, wropped ‘imself up in all the bed-clothes ‘e could lay his ‘ands on. Then Mrs. Burtenshaw gave a ‘owl and tried to get some of ‘em back; but Bill, thinking it was the ghost, only held on tighter than ever.
“Bill!” ses Silas Winch, in an awful voice.
Bill gave a kick, and tried to bore a hole through the bed.
“Bill,” ses Silas agin, “why don’t you answer me? I’ve come all the way from the bottom of the Pacific Ocean to see you, and this is all I get for it. Haven’t you got anything to say to me?”
“Good-by,” ses Bill, in a voice all smothered with the bed-clothes.
Silas Winch groaned agin, and Bill, as the shock ‘ad made a’most sober, trembled all over.
“The moment I died,” ses Silas, “I thought of my promise towards you. ‘Bill’s expecting me,’ I ses, and, instead of staying in comfort at the bottom of the sea, I kicked off the body of the cabin-boy wot was clinging round my leg, and ‘ere I am.”
“It was very—t-t-thoughtful—of you—Silas,” ses Bill; “but you always— w-w-was—thoughtful. Good-by—”
Afore Silas could answer, Mrs. Burtenshaw, who felt more comfortable, ‘aving got a bit o’ the clothes back, thought it was time to put ‘er spoke in.
“Lor’ bless me, Bill,” she ses. “Wotever are you a-talking to yourself like this for? ‘Ave you been dreaming?”
“Dreaming!” ses pore Bill, catching hold of her ‘and and gripping it till she nearly screamed. “I wish I was. Can’t you see it?”
“See it?” ses his wife. “See wot?”
“The ghost,” ses Bill, in a ‘orrible whisper; “the ghost of my dear, kind old pal, Silas Winch. The best and noblest pal a man ever ‘ad. The kindest-’arted–”
“Rubbish,” ses Mrs. Burtenshaw. “You’ve been dreaming. And as for the kindest-’arted pal, why I’ve often heard you say—”
“H’sh!” ses Bill. “I didn’t. I’ll swear I didn’t. I never thought of such a thing.”
“You turn over and go to sleep,” ses his wife, “hiding your ‘ead under the clothes like a child that’s afraid o’ the dark! There’s nothing there, I tell you. Wot next will you see, I wonder? Last time it was a pink rat.”
“This is fifty million times worse than pink rats,” ses Bill. “I on’y wish it was a pink rat.”
“I tell you there is nothing there,” ses his wife. “Look!”
Bill put his ‘ead up and looked, and then ‘e gave a dreadful scream and dived under the bed-clothes agin.
“Oh, well, ‘ave it your own way, then,” ses his wife. “If it pleases you to think there is a ghost there, and to go on talking to it, do so, and welcome.”
She turned over and pretended to go to sleep agin, and arter a minute or two Silas spoke agin in the same hollow voice.
“Bill!” he ses.
“Yes,” ses Bill, with a groan of his own.
“She can’t see me,” ses Silas, “and she can’t ‘ear me; but I’m ‘ere all right. Look!”
“I ‘ave looked,” ses Bill, with his ‘ead still under the clothes.
“We was always pals, Bill, you and me,” ses Silas; “many a v’y’ge ‘ave we had together, mate, and now I’m a-laying at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, and you are snug and ‘appy in your own warm bed. I ‘ad to come to see you, according to promise, and over and above that, since I was drowned my eyes ‘ave been opened. Bill, you’re drinking yourself to death!”
“I—I—didn’t know it,” ses Bill, shaking all over. “I’ll knock it—off a bit, and—thank you—for—w-w-warning me. G-G-Good-by.”
“You’ll knock it off altogether,” ses Silas Winch, in a awful voice. “You’re not to touch another drop of beer, wine, or spirits as long as you live. D’ye hear me?”
“Not—not as medicine?” ses Bill, holding the clothes up a bit so as to be more distinct.
“Not as anything,” ses Silas; “not even over Christmas pudding. Raise your right arm above your ‘ead and swear by the ghost of pore Silas Winch, as is laying at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, that you won’t touch another drop.”
Bill Burtenshaw put ‘is arm up and swore it.