Sea Urchins

“I wish one of you would commit sooicide,” said Ned, looking wistfully round at the faces, “that ‘ud frighten the old man, and bring him round a bit.”

“Well, you’re the eldest,” said Bill pointedly.

“Drowning’s a easy death too,” said Simpson persuasively. “You can’t have much enjoyment in life at your age, Ned?”

“And you might leave a letter behind to the skipper, saying as ‘ow you was drove to it by bad food,” said the cook, who was getting excited.

“Talk sense!” said the old man very shortly.

“Look here,” said Bill suddenly. “I tell you what we can do: let one of us pretend to commit suicide, and write a letter as Slushy here ses, saying as ‘ow we’re gone overboard sooner than be starved to death. It ‘ud scare the old man proper; and p’raps he’d let us start on the other meat without eating up this rotten stuff first.”

“How’s it to be done?” asked Simpson, staring.

“Go an’ ‘ide down the fore ‘old,” said Bill. “There’s not much stuff down there. We’ll take off the hatch when one of us is on watch to-night, and—whoever wants to—can go and hide down there till the old man’s come to his senses. What do you think of it, mates?”

“It’s all right as an idea,” said Ned slowly, “but who’s going?”

“Tommy,” replied Bill simply.

“Blest if I ever thought of him,” said Ned admiringly; “did you, cookie?”

“Never crossed my mind,” said the cook.

“You see the best o’ Tommy’s going,” said Bill, “is that the old man ‘ud only give him a flogging if he found it out. We wouldn’t split as to who put the hatch on over him. He can be there as comfortable as you please, do nothing, and sleep all day if he likes. O’ course we don’t know anything about it, we miss Tommy, and find the letter wrote on this table.”

The cook leaned forward and regarded his colleague favourably; then he pursed his lips, and nodded significantly at an upper bunk from which the face of Tommy, pale and scared, looked anxiously down.

“Halloa!” said Bill, “have you heard what we’ve been saying?”

“I heard you say something about going to drown old Ned,” said Tommy guardedly.

“He’s heard all about it,” said the cook severely. “Do you know where little boys who tell lies go to, Tommy?”

“I’d sooner go there than down the fore ‘old,” said Tommy, beginning to knuckle his eyes. “I won’t go. I’ll tell the skipper.”

“No you won’t,” said Bill sternly. “This is your punishment for them lies you told about us to-day, an’ very cheap you’ve got off too. Now, get out o’ that bunk. Come on afore I pull you out.”

With a miserable whimper the youth dived beneath his blankets, and, clinging frantically to the edge of his berth, kicked convulsively as he was lifted down, blankets and all, and accommodated with a seat at the table.

“Pen and ink and paper, Ned,” said Bill.

The old man produced them, and Bill, first wiping off with his coat-sleeve a piece of butter which the paper had obtained from the table, spread it before the victim.

“I can’t write,” said Tommy suddenly.

The men looked at each other in dismay.

“It’s a lie,” said the cook.

“I tell you I can’t,” said the urchin, becoming hopeful; “that’s why they sent me to sea, becos I couldn’t read or write.”

“Pull his ear, Bill,” said Ned, annoyed at these aspersions upon an honourable profession.

“It don’t matter,” said Bill calmly. “I’ll write it for ‘im; the old man don’t know my fist.”

He sat down at the table, and, squaring his shoulders, took a noisy dip of ink, and scratching his head, looked pensively at the paper.

“Better spell it bad, Bill,” suggested Ned.

“Ay, ay,” said the other. “‘Ow do you think a boy would spell ‘sooicide,’ Ned?”

The old man pondered. “S-o-o-e-y-s-i-d-e,” he said slowly.

“Why, that’s the right way, ain’t it?” inquired the cook, looking from one to the other.

“We mustn’t spell it right,” said Bill, with his pen hovering over the paper. “Be careful, Ned.”

“We’ll say ‘killed myself instead,’” said the old man. “A boy wouldn’t use such a big word as that p’raps.”

Bill bent over his work, and, apparently paying great attention to his friends’ entreaties not to write it too well, slowly wrote the letter.

“How’s this?” he inquired, sitting back in his seat.

“‘Deer captin i take my pen in hand for the larst time to innform you that i am no more suner than heat the ‘orrible stuff what you kail meet i have drownded miself it is a moor easy death than starvin’ i ‘ave left my clasp nife to bill an’ my silver wotch to it is ‘ard too dee so young tommie brown.’”

“Splendid!” said Ned, as the reader finished and looked inquiringly round.

“I put in that bit about the knife and the watch to make it seem real,” said Bill, with modest pride; “but, if you like, I’ll leave ‘em to you instead, Ned.”

“I don’t want ‘em,” said the old man generously.

“Put your cloes on,” said Bill, turning to the whimpering Tommy.

“I’m not going down that fore ‘old,” said Tommy desperately. “You may as well know now as later on—I won’t go.”

“Cookie,” said Bill calmly, “just ‘and me them cloes, will you? Now, Tommy.”

“I tell you I’m not going to,” said Tommy.

“An’ that little bit o’ rope, cookie,” said Bill; “it’s just down by your ‘and. Now, Tommy.”

The youngest member of the crew looked from his clothes to the rope, and from the rope back to his clothes again.

“How ‘m I goin’ to be fed?” he demanded sullenly, as he began to dress.

“You’ll have a stone bottle o’ water to take down with you an’ some biskits,” replied Bill, “an’ of a night-time we’ll hand you down some o’ that meat you’re so fond of. Hide ‘em behind the cargo, an’ if you hear anybody take the hatch off in the daytime, nip behind it yourself.”

“An’ what about fresh air?” demanded the sacrifice.