Operation Gigolo

He searched for a way to put her more at ease. “Maybe if you direct things, instead of me just foisting myself on you, it won’t seem so invasive. We could have signals, like in baseball.”

A tiny smile appeared on her sweet mouth. “Signals?”

“Yeah, like clearing your throat means I stick my tongue in your ear, scratching your nose means a French kiss, and brushing your shoulder means I grab your—”

“Forget it,” she said quickly, the color rising in her cheeks.

“The signals? Or grabbing?”

“Both.”

“We can think of a better idea than the signals, but if we’re going to put on a completely nauseating show, I should probably do a little grabbing. In fact, you should, too. Parents hate that, but it will be very convincing. I’ll grab easy, I promise.”

“Where…where would you…?”

“The standard places.”

“I don’t have any standard places.”

He laughed and gulped some water, suddenly needing a drink. “Sorry. I absolutely agree. Your places are way above average.”

She gazed at him for a long moment, her expression revealing her turmoil.

“It was a joke,” he said.

“I know.” She sighed and leaned back against the seat.

“Maybe this is hopeless. I’m probably not up to it.”

“Hey, that doesn’t sound like the Lynn Morgan I know.” He studied her tense profile. There was character in that face, and although she wasn’t a blond bombshell like Michelle, she had an elegant beauty that appealed to him. Appealed to him a lot. “The Lynn Morgan I work with every day doesn’t give up before she’s even started.”

She turned her head to look at him. “It’s a tougher job than I imagined, Tony. How in the world am I going to manage?”

“By relaxing, and thinking of it as play instead of serious stuff.” He smiled. “If we’re going to make fools of ourselves this weekend, we might as well enjoy it. Loosen up and have fun with this crazy scheme of yours.”

She held his gaze, and gradually the tense lines around her eyes and mouth eased, and mischief began to dance in her brown eyes. “Okay. Just what do you have in mind, big boy?”

Whoa. He hadn’t expected her to pack such a wallop.

He wasn’t going to have to fake this attraction. “Just keep looking at me like that, and we’ll have it made,” he said.

“I thought you wanted to plan our moves.”

He swallowed. He’d like to make one on her right here, right now. Planning ahead might be overkill. “I think when the time comes, we’ll know what to do.”

“You’re sure?”

Oh, yes. “Just keep in mind that we’re supposed to be so filled with love and lust that we can’t keep our hands off each other.” He took another drink of water. Surely his hand wasn’t trembling. Nothing bothered Tony The Tomcat.

“Excuse me,” Jeff said, putting his hand on Tony’s arm.

“But I couldn’t help overhearing some of your conversation. I have some knowledge in this area, and I think you’re both making a big mistake.”

Tony glanced at him in amazement. “Look, Jeff, with all due respect, I don’t think we need your—”

“You should see the color of your aura right now. And hers. You’re both troubled.” Jeff smiled. “Let me help. No charge.”

Lynn leaned forward and gave him a puzzled glance. “I must be missing something.”

Jeff faced her, his expression earnest. “Take pride in who you are! If society makes you ashamed, just surround yourself with white light, stand up and say, ‘This is me. I may be different from you, but that doesn’t make me less valuable, or less moral.’”

Tony had thought the guy was fairly rational, but he was reassessing that conclusion. “Listen, Jeff, are you overdue for some medication, or something? I’ll be glad to call the flight attendant and get you a—”

“I’m having a little trouble with my sun center these days, but meditation and color therapy seems to be taking care of it. In fact, I should be wearing my chakra glasses right this minute. Thanks for reminding me.” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a pair of canary-tinted wraparound sunglasses and put them on.

Tony stared at him.

“That’s better,” Jeff said, as if it was perfectly normal to wear yellow sunglasses inside an airplane. He patted Tony’s knee. “My practice is filled with people of your persuasion, my friend. I advise you both to confess the truth to your parents. I promise you’ll be cleansed by the experience, and so will they. After all, everybody’s coming out these days.”

“What?” Tony instinctively rose out of his seat and bumped into the lap tray, upsetting his water glass into his lunch. Beside him, he could hear Lynn’s muffled laughter.

“Look, Jeff, I’m not—”

“Oh, Tony, of course you are. Why else would a lawyer feel it necessary to dress like that? You’re trying to project some macho image to throw people off the track, but it’s not working, and you know it.”

“I am not gay.” Tony realized he’d said that a little loud, and people were turning in their seats to check out the conversation.

Lynn cleared her throat and leaned over Tony’s destroyed lunch to gaze at Jeff. “He’s really not,” she said. Her lips were twitching, as if she was having a hell of a time keeping a straight face. “Dressing that way was my idea.”

“I’m not surprised.” Jeff looked knowing. “You’re projecting your own desire to act that role onto Tony. Be courageous! Wear the tight jeans and T-shirt yourself! Go for the motorcycle boots and the tattoo! Believe me, you’ll feel so much better.”

“Okay, here’s the deal,” Lynn said. “My parents are having some problems, and so—”

“There you go. I’ll bet they’re struggling with sexual issues, themselves. Clear the air for all of you, and you might have more in common than you think.”

Tony spoke through clenched teeth. “We…are…straight. All of us. Straight as a board.”

Jeff smiled and settled back against his seat. “You are so typical of my other clients. So defensive. You have my card. When you’re ready to honor that side of yourself, give me a call. I know a great sweat lodge.” He put on a pair of earphones and switched on a small tape recorder he had in his shirt pocket.

Tony had stuck Jeff’s business card in his wallet, and now it seemed to burn a hole in his butt. He longed to get it out and tear it into little pieces, but that would give Jeff more evidence that he was being defensive.

So he turned to look at Lynn instead. Yes, he was definitely heterosexual. He wanted to wring her neck for helping him get into such a ridiculous conversation, but even more he wanted to plant kisses on that neck.

She pressed her lips together and her eyes brimmed with laughter.

He lowered his voice. “You enjoyed that, didn’t you?”

She nodded.