The Merry Wives of Windsor

Ni. The Anchor is deepe: will that humor passe?

Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husbands Purse: he hath a legend of Angels

Pist. As many diuels entertaine: and to her Boy say I

Ni. The humor rises: it is good: humor me the angels

Fal. I haue writ me here a letter to her: & here another to Pages wife, who euen now gaue mee good eyes too; examind my parts with most iudicious illiads: sometimes the beame of her view, guilded my foote: sometimes my portly belly

Pist. Then did the Sun on dung-hill shine

Ni. I thanke thee for that humour

Fal. O she did so course o're my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye, did seeme to scorch me vp like a burning-glasse: here's another letter to her: She beares the Purse too: She is a Region in Guiana: all gold, and bountie: I will be Cheaters to them both, and they shall be Exchequers to mee: they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both: Goe, beare thou this Letter to Mistris Page; and thou this to Mistris Ford: we will thriue (Lads) we will thriue

Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,

And by my side weare Steele? then Lucifer take all

Ni. I will run no base humor: here take the humor-Letter;

I will keepe the hauior of reputation

Fal. Hold Sirha, beare you these Letters tightly,

Saile like my Pinnasse to these golden shores.

Rogues, hence, auaunt, vanish like haile-stones; goe,

Trudge; plod away ith' hoofe: seeke shelter, packe:

Falstaffe will learne the honor of the age,

French-thrift, you Rogues, my selfe, and skirted Page

Pist. Let Vultures gripe thy guts: for gourd, and

Fullam holds: & high and low beguiles the rich & poore,

Tester ile haue in pouch when thou shalt lacke,

Base Phrygian Turke

Ni. I haue opperations,

Which be humors of reuenge

Pist. Wilt thou reuenge?

Ni. By Welkin, and her Star

Pist. With wit, or Steele?

Ni. With both the humors, I:

I will discusse the humour of this Loue to Ford

Pist. And I to Page shall eke vnfold

How Falstaffe (varlet vile)

His Doue will proue; his gold will hold,

And his soft couch defile

Ni. My humour shall not coole: I will incense Ford to deale with poyson: I will possesse him with yallownesse, for the reuolt of mine is dangerous: that is my true humour

Pist. Thou art the Mars of Malecontents: I second thee: troope on.

Exeunt

Scoena Quarta

Enter Mistris Quickly, Simple, Iohn Rugby, Doctor, Caius, Fenton.

Qu. What, Iohn Rugby, I pray thee goe to the Casement, and see if you can see my Master, Master Docter Caius comming: if he doe (I' faith) and finde any body in the house; here will be an old abusing of Gods patience, and the Kings English

Ru. Ile goe watch

Qu. Goe, and we'll haue a posset for't soone at night, (in faith) at the latter end of a Sea-cole-fire: An honest, willing, kinde fellow, as euer seruant shall come in house withall: and I warrant you, no tel-tale, nor no breedebate: his worst fault is, that he is giuen to prayer; hee is something peeuish that way: but no body but has his fault: but let that passe. Peter Simple, you say your name is? Si. I: for fault of a better

Qu. And Master Slender's your Master?

Si. I forsooth

Qu. Do's he not weare a great round Beard, like a

Glouers pairing-knife?

Si. No forsooth: he hath but a little wee-face; with a little yellow Beard: a Caine colourd Beard

Qu. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

Si. I forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is betweene this and his head: he hath fought with a Warrener

Qu. How say you: oh, I should remember him: do's

he not hold vp his head (as it were?) and strut in his gate?