People made interesting choices, Stacey thought. Some made sense while others simply confused her. She was never sure how much of that was her inability to relate to them versus the decision not making sense in the first place.
“How was your Easter?” Lexi asked as she took a seat across from Stacey’s desk.
“Very nice. Harper prepared a wonderful meal. I brought plenty of leftovers for lunch if you’d care for some.”
Lexi closed her eyes and moaned. “You know I love your sister’s cooking. What that woman does with brownies should be illegal.”
Lexi’s interest in food greatly contributed to her weight problem. Stacey had tried to explain that she should think of food as fuel—like gas for a car. Perhaps that would allow her to lose weight. Lexi had told Stacey that while she was the best boss ever, she wasn’t allowed to comment on her personal appearance and if she did it again, Lexi would write her up.
It had been the only moment of tension in their otherwise-successful working relationship.
Stacey honestly hadn’t understood what she’d done wrong. Kit had tried to explain that Lexi probably knew she had a weight problem and wasn’t looking for Stacey to try to solve it. Which made absolutely no sense. Not only were there health risks, but Lexi was always complaining about being tired and that she couldn’t buy cute clothes. Simply eating less would make it all go away.
But Stacey appreciated Lexi and wanted to keep her happy, so she had vowed not to say anything ever again. She’d brought in brownies Harper had made as a peace offering and all had been well.
Lexi opened her eyes. “Did you tell her?”
No need to ask, tell who what? Lexi had known about the pregnancy since Stacey had had her first ultrasound. She wanted to pretend confusion as to why it had been so easy to tell Harper and Lexi about the baby, yet so hard to tell her mother, only she couldn’t. She knew exactly why she didn’t want to confess all to Bunny.
Maybe it was a bit like Lexi and her addiction to food. Knowing the right thing to do didn’t make it any easier to accomplish.
“We have a new dog.”
Lexi blinked at her. “There’s a non sequitur. You have a dog?”
Stacey explained about Becca and the inherited dogs. “We took Bay. She’s beautiful and so well trained. With all the confusion, it didn’t seem like a good time to tell my mother about the baby.”
“Uh-huh. I’m sure someone believes that, but it wouldn’t be me. You are lucky you’re tall enough that your pregnancy doesn’t show or she would have guessed by now anyway. You’re going to be one of those annoying women who doesn’t look pregnant until the last three days.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Stacey, you know it’s only going to get harder to tell her the longer you wait, right?”
Stacey nodded, although she couldn’t imagine it being any more difficult than it was right now.
“You also have to let Karl know,” Lexi added.
“I’ve told HR,” Stacey said defensively.
She’d already filled out all the required paperwork and requested her leave. The chain of command had been alerted. Which was not, she admitted to herself, the same as telling the head of her department.
Karl wasn’t exactly her boss—Stacey had autonomy in her department. As long as her team produced results, she was left to her own devices. Still, Karl was the closest thing to a manager she had, and at some point he needed to know. Just not right now.
“Did I mention Bay is pregnant?”
Lexi’s eyes widened. “Your new dog is pregnant?”
“Yes. Significantly so. I’m going to make an appointment to take her to the vet to get her checked out.” She frowned. “Thor’s been neutered, so he can’t be the father. I wonder who it was. Regardless, we’ll have puppies soon.”
“You’re pregnant. You haven’t told your mom or Karl, but you now have a dog who’s going to have puppies?”
Lexi’s voice was filled with incredulity and shock, which didn’t make any sense.
“Why are you saying it like that? What does one have to do with the other?”
“You’re going to have a baby,” Lexi said forcefully. “Your life is going to change in ways you can’t begin to understand. The last thing you need is puppies in the house.”
Stacey disagreed. Puppies were exactly what she needed. Being around Bay would allow her to observe motherhood in a safe and nonjudgmental environment. She planned to learn from the dog and use those lessons to help herself feel more connected to her own child.
“I think Bay and her puppies will be good for me,” she said.
“You’re the boss.” Lexi stood. “I’m going to finish proofing your article, then email it back to you. In the meantime, if you have any questions, remember I’ve had three. I know it all.”
“Thank you.”
Stacey planned to call on her assistant when the time came. It would be good to have an extra resource for those questions she couldn’t ask her mother or sister.
Too much of the literature she’d read mentioned hormones and instinct kicking in when the baby was born. While Stacey appreciated the power of innate intelligence, she was concerned she was somehow lacking vital pieces—especially when it came to being a mother. She’d never been normal before—why would that change now?
* * *
Becca walked slowly up the front steps to Mischief Bay High School when what she wanted to do was run or skip or even dance. Spring Break was over. Finally! She glanced around, wondering if anyone else was thinking the same thing, then sighed. Of course they weren’t. Everyone else had gone away for Spring Break or had fun with their friends. Everyone else had plans. She’d been the only one counting the days until she could get back to something close to a life.
She sat on the stone bench to the side of the huge open double doors and faked looking for something in her backpack. She needed a second to remember how to pretend all the things she was supposed to pretend. That she didn’t miss Kaylee every second of every day. Her best friend had moved to Boston at the end of last summer. After swearing she would never have another friend as amazing as Becca, after crying for weeks about how she would never fit in, Kaylee had settled into life in Boston easily and happily.
Between Instagram and Snapchat, Becca had a clear idea of exactly how perfect Kaylee’s new life was. She even had a boyfriend. Just like Jordan, Becca’s second-best friend. Becca, on the other hand, hadn’t even been kissed, not unless you counted a couple of stupid birthday parties with kissing games, which she didn’t.
She knew it was wrong to be jealous of Kaylee learning to sail and dating the younger brother of a naval cadet, and in a way, she wasn’t. She wanted Kaylee to be happy—it was just she also wanted to be missed as much as she was missing her friend. But the texts were getting less frequent and less personal. These days it seemed as if Kaylee was texting her grandmother rather than her friend.
As for Jordan... Becca shook her head. She had no idea what to do there. Jordan and her family had gone to Mexico for Spring Break. Back in November, Jordan had begged Becca to go with her. If she didn’t have her best friend along, she would die. Then, over Christmas, Jordan and Nathan had started dating and in the end, Jordan had taken Nathan instead.
There were other friends—she was part of a group, just like pretty much every other girl in high school. But those were just regular friends. Becca had never been good at being close with a crowd. She preferred one or two people in her life, which made her weird and left her sitting alone on this stupid bench, freakishly excited about school starting in twenty minutes.
She looked around at everyone talking about their vacations, listened to the laughing and teasing and felt...sad. No, she thought. Not sad, exactly. Small. She was so small and everyone else was big and sometimes she felt as if she were getting smaller and smaller and one day she would just disappear.
Her phone chirped.
Where r u? omg I need to c u now
Becca smiled as Jordan’s drama played out in text, even as she heard her friend’s voice in her head.
Muinoup, she texted back, abbreviating “meet you in our usual place.”
She started toward the science building where she and Jordan would meet up in the girls’ bathroom. No one hung out here before school started, which meant the bathrooms were usually empty, allowing plenty of privacy for whatever revelation Jordan might want to share.
Becca wanted to hear all about her friend’s vacation. Jordan had been oddly quiet during her trip, only posting a handful of Snapchat videos and three Instagram pics. Once Jordan was finished—because Jordan always had to go first—Becca wanted to talk about her new dog and her dad and his upcoming wedding that her mom still knew nothing about.
And the car. At some point Becca was going to have to come clean about the car.
She wondered how her mom would react when she found out her ex-husband was getting married. Would she be mad or would she cry? Becca didn’t know what she was supposed to say. She wasn’t happy about it, either. Her dad already pretty much ignored her. He’d promised to take her driving over Spring Break and that had never happened—not even on the long drive to Grass Valley. She needed her fifty supervised hours. Her mom always said she was too busy, and now her dad kept flaking out on her.
She ran up the steps to the science building, pushed open the door and turned into the girls’ bathroom. Jordan was already there, texting. She smiled when she saw Becca.