A Father for Her Baby

‘The wound above her temple was still bleeding moderately when I reached her.’

He gently lifted the padding at one corner. ‘It’s stopped now.’

‘One thing to be thankful for.’ Sasha’s tone was perfectly reasonable, normal. Totally unaffected by his presence.

Guess she’d long got over him. Which, considering her pregnancy, should be mighty obvious even to his sluggish brain. He must’ve done a good job of telling her to get on with her life without him in it because the results were very clear. Sash was going to become a mother in a few months’ time. She hadn’t done that on her own.

The green-eyed monster lifted its head, roared inside his skull. Who was the lucky bastard? Did he treat her well? Did she love him? Completely and utterly? Passionately? Of course she did. That was the only way Sash did anything. Grady wiped his hands down his jeans, removing a sudden coating of sweat. ‘We need to splint Lucy’s arm.’

He’d spoken more brusquely than he’d intended and received a perfectly arched eyebrow kind of glare for his trouble. ‘Sure.’

It was as easy as that for Sash. Except her fingers had a slight tremble as she handed him the splint. Interesting. And confusing. Talk about mixed messages. Not only were those fingers trembling, they were covered in rings. Was one of them a wedding ring? The silver one on her wedding ring finger had a tiny butterfly etched into the metal. Not a likely wedding ring, even for Sasha.

They worked quickly and efficiently, routine emergency care that neither of them had any difficulty with. Grady asked in as nonchalant a voice as he could manage, ‘Where have you been working? Before Takaka?’ Sasha had been planning on starting her training only weeks after the last time they’d been together. They’d finished high school and had been enjoying their last summer holidays before hitting the adult world.

‘In the emergency department at Christchurch Hospital for a year.’ She gently lowered Lucy’s arm by her side. ‘Now I’m the community nurse around here while the centre’s usual nurse is on maternity leave.’

‘Must be something in the water,’ Grady muttered.

‘Here I’d been thinking it was all to do with loving relationships.’ Suddenly her tone could have slayed rampaging bulls.

A quick glance showed the anger spitting out at him from those beautiful emerald eyes. Anger and something else he couldn’t make out. Hurt? Disappointment? It had come and gone so fast he didn’t have time to work out exactly what that emotion had been.

‘Sash, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound flippant.’ Once he’d have been able to say anything to her and get away with it. That had been before bust-up day. Eleven birthdays and Christmases ago. A doctor’s degree ago. Two broken relationships ago. Relationships he hadn’t cared enough about to make work.

‘My name is Sasha.’ Words as cold as that ice outside fell into the silence.

Not to me you’re not. His heart cracked wide open at her rebuff. He hadn’t set out to be overly friendly by using his pet name for her. But he’d always called her Sash. He hadn’t learned not to. All these years he’d thought about Sash, not Sasha. That was everyone else’s name for her. She used to protest at anyone calling her Sash—except him. Seemed he’d been relegated to the slush heap. His shrug was deliberate and heavy. ‘Sasha.’

The door opened and cold air hit them as Mike and the guys hoisted the second stretcher on board with Mr Donovon strapped down tight.

Their patient roused himself enough to croak out, ‘How’s Lucy?’

‘She’s stable, Sam.’ Sasha held the older guy’s hand for a moment, spoke in a very caring way, nothing like she’d talked to him. ‘I’m glad you’re out of that truck.’

‘You and me both, lass.’

Mike nudged his way between Grady and Sasha. ‘Let’s take a look at you, Sam, before we get on our way.’

‘Are you driving over to Nelson?’ Sasha’s eyes widened. ‘I’ve just come over the hill and it’s not good. Took me a lot longer than normal.’

‘No choice. The rescue helicopter flew to Wellington on an emergency run four hours ago and has been grounded after a wind gust flicked it sideways, causing damage to a rotor,’ Mike explained. ‘Jonty has offered to drive while Rebecca and I keep an eye on these two.’

Rebecca poked her head through from the front, where she’d been having no luck in her attempts to raise the Nelson ED on the radio. ‘I don’t have a lot of confidence driving on ice, whereas Jonty’s had plenty of practice.’

‘You want me to come along?’ Grady asked Mike. ‘I’m happy to help.’ Though it was getting crowded in here.

Mike shook his head as he cut down through the centre of Sam’s trouser leg. ‘No point in all of us missing out on a night’s sleep. Rebecca and I can handle this. Grady, you hitch a ride back with Sasha. She lives on her parents’ property, close by your house.’ Mike really didn’t have a clue about anything.

He saw Sash stiffen for a brief moment. Then she returned to helping Mike, for all the world completely unperturbed by the other doctor’s suggestion. Mike’s idea made perfect sense. She lived very close to his house. He used to be able to get to Sasha’s in under a minute on his motorbike if the road was clear. Bloody lucky he’d never come off on that tight corner by the Wilsons’ gate. ‘Okay with you, Sasha?’ he drawled.

Why did his mind play these games to annoy her when really all he wanted was a bit of peace for the rest of his stay here? He must quit giving the woman a hard time. She hadn’t asked for him to barge back into her life. ‘I can go back with the fire truck if you’d prefer.’

Her mouth tightened, her eyes darkened, and she tugged those small shoulders back hard, automatically pushing that baby bump further out between them. She wouldn’t back down from what she’d been asked to do. But she glared at him as she said, ‘Might as well come with me. I warn you I’m not in a hurry. Too much ice to drive like I’m handling a racing car.’

Now, that was something new. Sash had always driven like she had to win. ‘Works for me.’

‘Let’s go.’ Sasha was blunt. ‘I’m more than ready to be home tucked up in bed for what’s left of the night.’

Air whooshed out of his lungs. Sash and bed. The memories he’d been trying to deny for the last thirty minutes reared up bright and dazzling. Sash—gregarious, generous, sexy, funny. A full-on, crazy, risk-taking kind of girl. An exciting, adventurous lover whose kisses had always left him breathless. And wanting more of her. What he wouldn’t do for one of those now.

Huh? Man, he had a problem, and he was about to hitch a ride with her. He watched her carefully lower to the ground, holding onto the safety rail in case her feet went from under her. So unlike the Sash he knew. But he wanted, needed, to get to know this version.

Mike tapped him on the shoulder. ‘Sorry about dragging you up here, but that’s Golden Bay for us medicos. The isolation means no one can ever totally relax.’

‘No problem,’ he answered mechanically, his eyes still fixed on Sash as she moved away awkwardly, taking each step extra-carefully. Her back ramrod straight, her head high. He knew her chin would be jutting forward, her mouth tight.

Exactly like that last time he’d seen her. On the sand at Pohara Beach below Dad’s house, now his house. She’d turned to walk away from him, the summer wind flattening her burnished gold curls and sandblasting her arms. Her long legs, forever legs, showcased by barely-there shorts, had eaten up the ground as she’d put distance between them.

Those green eyes, big in her fine-featured face, had been fixed on something in the distance at the far end of the beach. Only minutes before they’d been filled with love for him. Love that had rapidly turned to disbelief, and pain, as he’d spewed out his sorry attempt to make her go away so she could have the future she’d already mapped out long before they’d got together. The only kind of future that would suit Sasha. Certainly nothing like the one he’d suddenly faced, brought about by Dad’s death.

If he had a dollar for every time he’d wished his words back over the intervening years he could have retired already. But there’d be no undoing what his mouth had spilled that day. His deliberate attempt to send her on her way had been highly successful. Though he’d been thankful it was done, there’d been a part of him that had wished she’d fought him, made him accept there was no letting go of what bound them together, that theirs was a love that would see them through anything and everything.

Now he had to sit in a vehicle with her for as long as it took to get home. He would not spend the trip remembering her fingers playing over his skin in moments of wild passion. He would not recall how she’d call on her cell phone in the middle of the night and talk dirty till he lost control. Or how she’d climb on the back of his motorbike, slide her arms around his waist and hang on, laughing at the wind in her face. Not. Not. Not.

His heart squeezed painfully. He’d missed Sash so much that even if he could, he didn’t want to go away again without talking to her. Could they bury the elephant between them? These weeks might be his only opportunity. He could put the time to good use and put the real Sasha up against the one in his memory. That might prove interesting. Maybe the biggest disappointment of his life. But then he might finally be able to move on.

‘You going or what?’ Mike asked.

Grady shook his head, concentrated on the here and now. ‘On my way.’

He hadn’t even got the car door shut before Sash turned the key in the ignition. She mightn’t intend driving fast but she wasn’t wasting time hanging around. Glancing his way, she kept her face inscrutable. ‘Ready?’

‘Yes.’ Shrugging back into the corner, he couldn’t stop his gaze wandering over her. His breathing stuttered. She’d grown even more beautiful than he remembered her to be. Her pearly whites were now straight and orderly. The braces she’d hated wearing had done a fantastic job, though he missed the gap between the two front teeth. That had been kind of cute. Sasha’s curls had grown into a long, burnished gold ponytail held firmly in place with a purple clip thing. She still stared directly at everything, everyone. Including him.

And there—in those eyes—he finally recognised something from way back. Those eyes held the same all-seeing, missing-nothing gleam, and they were focused entirely on him. Looking for what?

Then she blinked, turned her head and began backing the vehicle onto the road, before concentrating on taking them down the hill. Her hands were firm on the steering-wheel, her body tilted forward as she peered out the windscreen. She was in control. Nothing new there. But she wasn’t fighting the situation, instead using the gears to go with the conditions outside.

Grady relaxed further back into his seat, clicked his seat belt in place. The vehicle was in capable hands. Unless fate had some ugly plans for them he’d soon be back at his house, warm and comfortable again. And hopefully getting some sleep. Something he seriously doubted was likely to happen.

The only sound was the purr of the engine and the intermittent flick, flick of the wipers. Sasha had never liked silence. But she wasn’t doing anything about filling this one. Grady’s mouth twitched.

Ironic but he wanted to hear noise, her voice, words, anything but this quietness that smothered him.

Her gloved right hand lifted from the steering-wheel and did the gentlest of sweeps across her belly.

His gut squeezed tight. He wanted to place his hand on top of hers, to feel whatever she felt. To be a part of this scene, not an observer. Her gesture had been instinctive, a mother-to-baby touch. Sash was obviously comfortable with being an expectant mum. It suited her.