Wearing the Rancher's Ring

“I remember most everything about you, Olivia.”

His comment was so unsettling that she didn’t make any sort of reply. After all, it was the same with her. She remembered everything about him, too. She just wasn’t brave enough to admit it to him.

* * *

Clancy took her to Bonito’s, a rustic Mexican restaurant located on the edge of the city. From their table by the window, the twinkling lights of the city stretched for miles toward the west and the mountains that rimmed Lake Tahoe. Meanwhile, just outside the wall of glass, a Joshua tree and a spiny barrel cactus framed the view.

“Do you eat here often?” Olivia asked as the two of them munched on the chips and salsa the waiter had left behind.

The eating area was rather small and nearly all the tables were occupied. Piped mariachi music was playing quietly in the background, although Clancy had informed her that a live mariachi band played on the weekends. The plastered walls were cracked in some places and the board planked floor had been there for so long that some of the nail heads had been worn away. It was just the type of place that Olivia liked and Clancy knew it.

“No. I don’t eat out much,” he said. “Greta, our house cook, always has nice meals fixed for the family. And I don’t leave the ranch unless I have a reason to.”

“Hmm. I guess I must have been one of those reasons tonight.”

He cocked a brow at her. “You could put it that way.”

Dropping her gaze from his face, she took a sip from her water glass. “You never were much of a social person. That hasn’t changed?”

“I’m not a hermit. I get out occasionally. But the ranch takes up most of my time.”

While they’d been engaged, Olivia had never carefully measured her words before she’d spoken them to Clancy. She’d felt free to say anything, about any subject. Now their past together was getting in the way, blocking the things that would have otherwise come naturally to her lips.

She said, “I’m sure it does. From what I hear, your family’s ranch has grown even bigger than what it was when you and I—when we were in college.”

The faint grimace on his face told her that he hadn’t missed the abrupt change of her words and suddenly Olivia realized how cowardly she was being. There was no point in trying to evade or dance around the issue of their past. It had happened. It couldn’t be changed. So there was no purpose in making herself miserable by trying to pretend otherwise.

He said, “Yes. It’s grown. My grandfather is still purchasing land whenever it becomes available. And like I told you the other day, we lease, too. Our lease land has also increased. So that means with more land, Dad wants more cattle. It’s a circle that goes around with my grandfather and father. And I have to try to keep up with the business ends of their deals.”

She smiled faintly. “That’s what you got your degree for. Now you’re putting it to use. I’m sure it must feel really nice to be able to put your knowledge and effort into something that actually belongs to you.”

Resting his forearms on the edge of the table, he leaned slightly toward her. “So tell me, Olivia, when did you go back to college? After your mother passed?”

Nodding, she said, “She died in the fall, after the semester had started. That was two years after I left UNLV. I waited until winter break to start my studies again. But I didn’t go back to Las Vegas. I had all my hours transferred to Boise State.”

A small frown furrowed his brow. “Oh. But you’d worked and saved just so you could go to UNLV,” he said. “It was your dream to get your degree there.”

When he’d said he’d not forgotten anything, he’d been right. Olivia wasn’t sure if that made her feel better or worse. She sighed. “Yes. But—well, some dreams just can’t come true. And I’ll be honest, Clancy. It wouldn’t have been the same without you there. So I—didn’t go back.”

Even though she wasn’t looking at him directly, she could feel his gaze slipping over her, weighing each word and expression. What did he expect to find? she wondered. What did he want to hear from her? That she’d made a horrible mistake by ending their engagement? That she’d been a fool for not trying to hang on to something as precious as what they’d shared?

“Some things just never turn out like we think they will.”

His remark shot an arrow directly into the middle of her chest. “No. Some things never do,” she murmured.

A long, awkward silence followed until Clancy finally spoke again. “Is that where you met your ex? At Boise?”

She shook her head. “No. I met Mark shortly after Mom died. I was still living in Twin Falls then and working as a bank teller. He was a carpenter and was a regular customer at that particular branch.”

“So what happened? Why did you get divorced?”

Because deep down I was still in love with you.

The thought sprang out of nowhere and she frantically shoved it away before she answered, “Because he turned out to be far different than what he first appeared to be. Before we married I made it clear to him that my plans were to go back to college and acquire my degree. He was perfectly agreeable with that until I actually became his wife. Then everything was different. He quickly decided that he didn’t want me going to college or having a job with the BLM. He also changed his mind about us having children. He believed our lives would be better without the complications that came with kids. In other words, all the things that were important to me, Mark wanted me to give up. I couldn’t do that, Clancy. I’m sure that makes me sound stubborn and selfish to you. But I had already made a huge sacrifice when I left you to take care of Mom. I wasn’t willing to make another one.”

“Is that what you call it? ‘A sacrifice’?”

Her throat was so thick, all she could manage to do was nod.

His gaze locked on hers. “Oh, Olivia,” he murmured ruefully. “Why did you marry him when you knew that I was waiting?”

The dark anguish in his eyes was more than she could bear. Jumping to her feet, she blindly hurried through the busy tables until she reached the ladies’ room.

Once inside, she dropped her head in her hands and allowed the scalding tears to flow.

Chapter Three (#ulink_78c3269b-ba0b-5543-bf13-74c8514bad41)

Eventually, a woman with a little girl entered the ladies’ room and the distraction forced Olivia to dry her tears and attempt to gather her composure.

Leaving the table that way made her look worse than an emotional teenager, she thought, as she pressed a damp paper towel beneath her eyes. But the only other option she’d had was to sit there and let him see a stream of regretful tears rolling down her face. And she wasn’t up to dealing with that sort of humiliation. Going back out there and facing him again was going to be bad enough.

Tossing the paper towel into a trash basket, she smoothed down the skirt of her black dress and with a bracing breath walked out among the diners. As soon as Clancy spotted her approaching the table, he rose to his feet and helped her into her chair.

Once he’d returned to his own seat, she quickly apologized. “I’m sorry, Clancy. I shouldn’t—”

“No, Olivia,” he interrupted. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn’t have said that to you. Not here. Not now. Let’s forget it, shall we?”

While she’d been in the ladies’ room, the waiter had served their meal. One glance at Clancy’s plate told her he’d not yet touched his food. Which made her feel even worse. She’d not only embarrassed the man, she’d starved him on top of it.

“You should’ve started eating without me,” she said. “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“The waiter just brought it. So it’s still hot. No harm done.”

He looked across the table at her and she could see concern in his eyes. The notion that her feelings were more important to him than the meal surprised her and for the first time this evening, she felt herself start to relax.

“I am hungry,” she admitted, then joked, “It takes a lot of energy to have an emotional breakdown.”

To her amazement, he reached across the table and wrapped his hand firmly around hers. His touch was rough and warm and incredibly familiar. But how could that be, she wondered, after so much time had passed and so much had happened?

“And I don’t want you to have another one,” he said gently. “We’ll keep our talk in the present. Deal?”

She gave him a grateful smile, but underneath she was actually terrified. Being with Clancy wasn’t supposed to be affecting her this way. His touch shouldn’t be making her long for more, making her wonder what it would be like to kiss him again, make love to him again.

“It’s a deal,” she agreed, then carefully pulling her hand from his, she picked up her fork and started to eat.

He followed her example and as the two of them began consuming the spicy food, Clancy purposely steered the conversation to Olivia’s job.

“So, are you doing the same type of work here in Carson City that you were doing back in Idaho?”