Daddy's Double Duty

Vulnerable. Needy. Precious. As he held the child, memories carried him back to when he and Nancy had first married. In the beginning, he’d had so many dreams and plans. All of them surrounding a house full of children to carry on the Donovan name and inherit the hard-earned rewards of the Diamond D. But those dreams had slowly and surely come crashing down.

Now as Conall experienced the special warmth and scent of the baby boy lying so helplessly in the crook of his arm, Conall wasn’t sure that Vanessa yet realized what a treasure she’d been handed. But he did. Oh, how he did.

“Conall?”

Reining in his thoughts, he pulled his gaze away from the baby to find her staring at him with a faintly puzzled look on her face. Had she been reading his mind? Conall wondered. Surely not. Down through the years he’d perfected the art of shuttering his emotions. Baby Rick wasn’t strong enough to make him change the longtime habit.

“Am I doing something wrong?” he asked.

For the first time Conall could remember, his secretary actually smiled at him with those big brown eyes of hers.

“No. You look like you were tailor-made for the job of Daddy.”

Her observation struck him hard, but he did his best to keep the pain hidden, as though there was no wide, empty hole inside him.

“Not hardly,” he said gruffly. “I’m not… daddy material.”

One delicate brow arched skeptically upward. “Oh? You don’t ever plan to have children of your own?”

For some reason her question made him pull the baby boy even closer to his chest. “That’s one thing I’m absolutely certain I’ll never have.”

Clearly taken aback by his response, her gaze slipped away from his and dropped to the baby in her arms. “Well, everyone has their own ideas about having children,” she said a bit stiffly. “I just happen to think you’re making a sad mistake.”

A sad mistake. Oh, yes, it was a sad mistake that she was misjudging him, Conall thought. And sad, too, that he couldn’t find the courage to tell this woman that at one time he’d planned to have at least a half-dozen children.

But if he let her in on that dream, then he’d have to explain why he’d been forced to set it aside. And why he planned to live the rest of his life a lone bachelor.

Hardening himself to that certain reality had changed him, he knew. Even his family often considered him unapproachable. But none of them actually understood the loss he felt to see his siblings having children of their own, while knowing he would always be cheated out of one of life’s most blessed gifts.

“You have a right to your opinion, Vanessa. Just like I have a right to live my life the way I see fit.”

She cast him a pained look, then turned her back to him and walked a few steps away as though she’d just seen him for the first time and didn’t like what she was seeing.

Well, that was okay, Conall thought. What his secretary thought about him didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if they were romantically linked, or even close friends.

He looked down at the baby in his arms and felt something raw and sweet swell in his chest. Vanessa would no doubt provide the twins with love. But they needed a father. And at some point in the future she would probably provide them with one. Then her family circle would be complete and that was only right.

Yet strangely, the idea left Conall with a regretful ache.

Chapter Three

Later that evening, long after their visit to the orphanage had ended, Vanessa sat in a quiet courtyard behind their villa-style hotel, and tried to relax from the hectic pace of the day. Along with the busy schedule of flying, meeting with lawyers and visiting the babies, her cell phone had rung continually all afternoon. Most of the calls were from people here in Vegas who’d been mutual friends of her and Hope and were just now hearing about the tragedy. Vanessa appreciated their concern and interest, but she was exhausted from explaining about the twins and sharing her grief over Hope’s death.

Finally, in desperation, she’d left the phone in her room and walked outside to enjoy the cooling desert air. Now as she sat on an iron bench beneath a huge Joshua tree and watched darkness fall on the distant mountains, she wished she could turn off thoughts of Conall as easily as she’d turned off the phone.

The man was an enigma. After weeks of working with him, she still didn’t understand what made Conall tick or what drove him to work long, trying hours for the ranch. Clearly he was ambitious. Every morning he arrived at the office at least two hours ahead of her, which meant he went to work before daylight. And when she left in the evenings, even after working overtime herself, he remained at his desk making calls or meeting with horse-racing connections. Running the Diamond D was clearly more than a job to him. It was the entire sum of his life. Did he invest so much of himself because the ranch was family owned and operated?

She could only guess at the answer to that question. But there was no doubt that Conall was a man of striking looks with plenty of money to match. The ranch could easily afford to hire an assistant in order to free Conall from his grueling schedule. With part of his workload eased, he’d be able to travel the world and indulge in all sorts of lavish recreations, with a trail of willing women trotting behind him. Yet none of those things appeared to interest him in the least. She seriously doubted he would accept the help of an assistant, even if the person volunteered to work for free. He was a man who wanted things done his way and refused to trust just anyone to carry out his orders.

Vanessa often wondered if he was still bitter over his divorce, or perhaps he was still in love with his ex-wife and wanted her back. Maura had never mentioned the cause of her brother’s divorce and Vanessa wasn’t about to question her childhood friend about him. The hopes and dreams and feelings going on inside Conall weren’t her business. Or so she kept telling herself. But ever since she’d looked up in the orphanage and seen him standing there with her baby son in his arms, she’d been consumed with unexpected emotions and questions.

The fact that he didn’t want or expect to ever have children had shaken her deeply. Of all the men she’d met through the years, Conall had always seemed like a man who would love and welcome children into his life. True, he had a dark and dangerous appearance but it belied the responsible man beneath. He wasn’t a roamer or playboy with a wild lifestyle. Why would he not want children? Because there was no room in his heart for them? No. Vanessa couldn’t believe he was that cold or stingy with himself. Not after seeing the way he interacted with the twins.

“Vanessa?”

The unexpected sound of Conall’s voice had her glancing over her shoulder to see him walking a narrow brick pathway toward her. Figuring something had to be wrong for him to come all the way out here to find her, she rose from the bench and met him on the footpath.

“I’m sorry,” she quickly apologized. “I left my phone in the room. Has the lawyer or orphanage been trying to reach me?”

Impatience creased his forehead. “You need to quit all this worrying, Vanessa. No one has tried to reach you through me. The lawyer seemed very competent. I’m sure he’ll have the last of the papers for us to sign before we catch our flight out tomorrow afternoon. And from what Mother Superior told us, the babies are perfectly healthy and able to travel.”

Shaking her head, Vanessa forced the tenseness in her shoulders to relax. “I am a bit on edge,” she admitted. “My phone has been ringing all evening and—”

Before she could finish, the cell in his shirt pocket went off and after a quick glance at the caller ID he said, “Sorry, Vanessa, I’ve been having the same problem. This won’t take but a minute or two.”

With a quick nod, she turned her back and took a few steps away to where water trickled over a three-tiered fountain and into a small pool. As she watched colorful koi swim in and out of water plants, she heard him say, “No. That won’t do…. I understand you mean well. But nothing used…. Everything new… Yes, classic…. No. Something like cherry and antique…. Got it?… Yeah. And anything else you can think of that will be needed.” There was a long pause as he listened to the caller and then he replied. “Yeah. Thanks, sis…. Good night.”

His sister? That could be Maura, Dallas or Bridget, she thought. Apparently they were planning something together and the notion sent a sad pang through Vanessa. She’d never had a sister to conspire with and share experiences, only older brothers who’d mostly caused great agony for her parents. Now with Esther, her mother, gone and her father, Alonzo, still having trouble communicating with his halting speech, she couldn’t look for family support. Unlike Conall, who’d always been surrounded by loving siblings, parents and grandmother.

“Well, now that I have that out of the way,” Conall announced behind her, “I came out here to see if you’d like to go to dinner somewhere? We’ve not eaten in hours.”

Vanessa glanced down at herself. She was still wearing the simple pink sheathe she’d started out with this morning, minus the matching bolero sweater, but it was wrinkled and even without the aid of a mirror she knew her hair was blown to a tumbled mess. “I really don’t feel like dressing up for dinner, Conall. You go on without me.”

He chuckled and the sound took her by surprise. He was a man who rarely laughed and when he did it was usually about something that she didn’t find amusing. Now as she looked at him, she was jarred by his jovial attitude.

“Have you taken a look at me?” he asked. “I’m wearing jeans.”

Dragging her gaze away from the charming grin on his lips, she slowly inspected the blue denim encasing his muscled thighs and the pair of brown alligator boots he wore. He was one of those few men who looked comfortable dressed up or down, which meant he would probably look even better without any clothes at all.

Dear, God, what was she doing? Now wasn’t the time for those sorts of indecent thoughts, she scolded herself. As far as Conall went, there would never be a time for them. And she had more important issues to focus on. Like two little tots with golden-red hair and blue eyes.

“I am hungry,” she admitted. For food. Not for a man like him, she mentally added.

“Great. There’s a little restaurant right across the street that looks good.”

“Just give me a moment to fetch my purse and sweater from the room,” she told him.

A few minutes later, they were seated at a small table in a family-type restaurant that featured Italian dishes. Vanessa ordered ravioli while Conall chose steak and pasta. As they waited for their salads and drinks to be served, Conall glanced around the long room decorated with early dated photos of Las Vegas and simple, home-style tables covered in brightly striped cloths.

Seated directly across from him, Vanessa asked, “Is this place not to your liking? We can always find another restaurant.”

Surprised by her suggestion, he turned his gaze on her. “I’m perfectly satisfied. Why do you ask?”

One of her slender shoulders lifted and fell in a negligible way. “I don’t know. The way you were looking around and frowning.”

“I frown all the time.” A wry smile touched one corner of his mouth. “At least, that’s what my mother tells me.”

“Mothers don’t like to see their children frown,” she reasoned. “Mine never did. She always told me to smile and count my blessings.”