The Blog

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At the supermarket of her former kinda colleagues there stayed only Nastya, the cashier.

Because of her obesity she’s too lazy for looking for a decenter job…

And that mudak in the line behind with his gaze riveted to Maya’s bottom as if it's his first time throughout his miserable life to see a woman’s ass.

Though yes, her ass is the coolest one in both this and the next hemispheres. Not fat yet round. Exactly what is lacking them those bitches in the podium that wiggle their skinny pelvic bone back and forth like empty scales.

Well, were you the only of the kind, then okay, fine. But not battalions of cloned Masha-Dasha in different rags and wigs of any hue on the march – left-right! left-right!

The dressage training, an Olympic sport.

And when already coming back home, the left spike broke off clean, as she was nearing her tower-block entrance.

Some damn well out of luck day and no doubt! With one foot you’re normal while keeping your right one on tiptoe as if sneaking up… Some lame duck with her sack of bad luck…

And then the elevator was not coming down for half an hour. Some bastards rape-holding its door in the upper floors.

Finally arrived, a couple with a baby came out.

The little baby’s such a cutie, the eyes so round, lips open in a small “o”. O, sweetie!

Maya got out on her seventh floor, opened the door, and still in the hallway she realized that something was not quite there.

She kicked her ruined heels off and looked from the corridor into the room.

Yep! So it is, some bum in a blue pea jacket is snoring on the couch by the balcony door.

Happy-New-Year-and-heat-your-ass-in-sauna!

It’s not that Maya freaked out completely. Nopes. She knew a trick or two from the bouncers at the bar “You’ll Get It”, some hard stuff so that kicking the guy in his balls was a kids' game, in comparison.

Yet just in case, she quietly went to the kitchen after the meat hammer.

How ever could that bum get in?

"Hey you! Reveille!"

He jumped up, batting his eyes and rubbed his lips with the heel of his palm.

"How d’you intrude? What’s your want?"

"Maya…"

Her eyes contacted his stare.

"Nobodya … And … the beard … where?"

The hammer slipped out the clutch and tapped at the floor, slightly…

"Actually, I’m Inokenty."

"What are you talking about? Inokenty the Who? The First? Second? Third?"

"The third… UF-3."

"Yeah. Unparalleled Fool. Can be seen in the dark too."

"Wait! Where so too many Inokenties from? Your exes’ count?"

"Too many or under many is for me to size up… The employer at the bookshop got me hooked on reading. When there are no clients, I leaf through everything. Lately The Sacred Puppet Show it was by the French blogger named Taxil.

O, Lord! They did jump bones in their shows! Did indeed! Even with their daughters…

You rarely come across the like porn even at X-sites.

Inokenty The Third’s the coolest of them Popes. It’s him to train all the princes and emperors in Europe kissing his shoe."

"A faggot or what?"

"The tribute of respect! You, fool! And no yo-yoing here! Where’s the beard?"

"Well… hum… see… Esma undid me in the morning… then UF-2 told about Athos, and he himself worse than a skinhead… it all got me somehow… and there’s a barber shop, well, I just went in… er… only they didn’t have change from a piastre…

"A tough case… seems like not just the beard was lost."

"Worried sick about that beard? Why so keen on it?"

"Having even the nerve to ask! Ha! Why am I keen? Yeah? Why? Got lost for so long and God only knows where. Then rolls in with his mug shining! Where have you been?"

"On the Island."

"Boy, o boy! A fucking bucket of steam! Which one? Vasilyevsky Island? Or Honshu?"

"Come on… Chris got killed. When you told me meet him."

"How d’you mean killed?"

"Two shots. A slob of Don’s."

"But you?"

"The bastard hit from behind my back. I didn’t see nix. Nothing at all."

"You not hurt, Nobodya?"

"It’s Inokenty. I’m Inokenty! Too hard to remember?"