Her conscience hurt when she remembered Thane’s call to her, the heated arguments between them—something she’d never had before in her life—and now her brother was gone and she wanted to say she was sorry she had argued with him. She wasn’t sorry for what she had done and was still doing, but she was sorry she had fought with the brother she loved so much.
She had told him that she had rights and he was butting into something that was none of his business and could hurt three people.
He had told her what she was doing was wrong and Noah had legal rights that she was violating. Thane had said she should rethink what she was doing before she hurt three people badly.
She thought about Noah and whispered to him even though he had driven away. “You can keep Thane’s present to Ethan. It won’t be half as important as keeping you from giving it to him. If the day ever comes when you see Ethan, the moment you do, you’ll know you’re looking at your son. And if that happens, all hell will break loose between us, Noah Grant.”
Three (#u3f54ed1c-b2ee-59fb-910e-caefcf149a2a)
Noah
As Noah drove away, he took deep breaths and relaxed his grip on the steering wheel. It had hurt far more than he had expected to see Camilla again. He thought he was getting over her, but the minute she opened the door, he knew damn well he hadn’t gotten over her at all. He had just been busy trying to stay alive and do his job.
While he hurt, he wished he didn’t care. He and Camilla had no future together and he didn’t want to see her again because today had torn him up. She hadn’t looked happy, either.
She had been prettier than ever, looking gorgeous, and his knee-jerk reaction had been to want to wrap her in his arms and kiss her for the next hour and carry her to bed.
He couldn’t ever do that again.
He struck the steering wheel with his hand. He needed to get to the ranch and outside where he had hard, physical work. The Army was over. His life with Camilla was over. He had to move on and get a new life and try to forget her.
He hadn’t helped himself by asking her why she fell in love with him when he knew what she liked and they both were tense and angry. Her kisses made him want to promise to change, to do whatever she wanted, but he hung on to his wits enough to know that he couldn’t stop being decisive, controlling, demanding. He loved the Bar G Ranch and didn’t want to give up that life. He’d lived in Dallas and worked in the family business and he’d had more of that than he wanted. That wasn’t the life for him.
He drove carefully because he was upset and his mind was elsewhere. It was not until he was in his own condo that he could let go, let the memories that tugged at him come, the regrets, the anger, the longing he couldn’t control.
He brewed coffee, poured a mug and went out on his balcony to look over the city of Dallas. He was high enough up that the horns and clatter of trucks were muffled.
He sat and sipped his coffee and thought about what else he had to do before he went back to the ranch, yet every few minutes, his thoughts would return to Camilla. He had to let go because they would not get back together. The differences were too big, too basic. She felt he was too strong an alpha male, making decisions and taking charge, because she had grown up with two take-charge males—Thane and her dad. She said her mother had given in to her dad always. Noah felt certain that wouldn’t happen with Camilla. She was about as strong-willed as he was if she stopped to think about it. Would she really have liked him better if he couldn’t take charge, couldn’t make decisions and act on them? He didn’t think so.
She hated her grandfather’s ranch, thus she disliked all ranches. He knew her memories were terrible at her grandfather’s place because her little brother had caught pneumonia from his fall into an icy pond and had later died. That would be a bad memory, but Noah didn’t think his ranch would trigger any such memories. He should have tried more to coax her out to his ranch.
She loved life in the city. He loved it out on his ranch, which she had never even visited. They weren’t going to work through their differences because neither of them would change. In bed was the one place where they had absolutely no disagreements. She was fantastic, instantly and intensely responsive. He sipped his coffee and made an effort to get his thoughts off sex with Camilla. The big deal was to give Camilla’s baby his little present. Why the hell Thane had been so insistent on placing that present in his little nephew’s hands, Noah couldn’t imagine, unless it had been that the little kid had no dad and Thane hoped Noah would be enough interested in the child to try to work things out with Camilla.
Noah had always wondered if she’d married on the rebound because it had been so fast, coming up right after he had been home on furlough and they had gone another—and final—round in their battle over his alpha-male, take-charge way, their city versus country life.
A part of him suspected that Thane wanted them back together and thought her fatherless child might draw them closer. That wasn’t going to happen. Noah knew Camilla hadn’t changed. She didn’t want any part of him in her life.
He sipped his hot coffee, closing his eyes, lost in memories of holding and kissing her that he couldn’t push out of mind. She was still the sexiest woman he had ever known. She dazzled him, and until he’d left for the Army, they’d had fun together. He had been staying in Dallas some of the time, or coming in from the ranch often to take her out, and for a time, they seemed to be getting closer. Until he started inviting her to his ranch.
Give the baby his present and tell her goodbye. After that and Mike’s wedding, there won’t be any other reason to try to see her.
His logical mind gave him clear commands, but he couldn’t stop the memories that clutched at his heart. Memories of one of the last times they were together, when he invited her to his ranch and she turned him down, leading to an argument as he tried to talk her into coming for a weekend. Finally he had stepped closer to slip his arms around her.
“Here’s where all our arguments vanish,” he’d said quietly. His mouth had covered hers and his tongue had gone deep while he kissed her. He’d held her close against him with one arm, his other hand slipping lightly over her curves, sliding down over her trim bottom, and then he’d shifted, his hand drifting beneath her dress to caress her breast. She’d been soft, wonderful, sweet-smelling, absolute temptation. He’d been lost. Her softness had made him shake.
For a moment she’d stood still in his arms, but with a moan, her arms had circled his neck and she’d thrust her hips against him, clinging tightly to him as she kissed him passionately in return, and he hadn’t wanted to ever stop.
He’d leaned over her, pouring himself into the kiss as if he could kiss away her reluctance and make her want a life together. Make being with him more important to her than her dislike of country life and her views on alpha males. Their moments of intimacy were the best possible, but it always came back to the truth: he couldn’t change the kind of man he was and make false promises that he never could keep and he didn’t want to give up his ranch. City life wasn’t for him.
Shifting, he’d slipped his hand beneath her dress, caressing her silken thighs so lightly, hearing her moan as she moved against him. Then he’d forgotten all their harsh words and impossible goals as he leaned down again to kiss her.
“I want you, Camilla,” he’d whispered minutes later, running his hand lightly over her nape and then holding her close.
She’d inhaled, closing her eyes to kiss him in return. She’d moaned softly and run both hands down his sides. “Noah, this isn’t going to solve anything.”
“Shh. For a few minutes shut out the world. We’ll talk about it later.”
“That just means you’re going to do what you wa—”
He’d kissed her so she would stop talking and there were no arguments. The sex had been hot, irresistible, and he’d picked her up to carry her to bed, where they forgot their differences.
Hours later, he’d slipped out of bed, gathering his clothes to shower and dress. When he’d come out, she’d been waiting. She had showered, pulled on jeans and a blue T-shirt.
They’d faced each other in silence. “We didn’t solve one thing. You just took charge and swept us into making love.”
“It looks as if we’re caught up in irreconcilable differences because I can’t stop being an alpha male. And frankly, I don’t want to give up living on my ranch. That’s my life.”
“And I don’t want to leave the city life. Noah, why are we even arguing? You haven’t proposed. We’re not that deeply involved.”
“One of us was,” he’d said. “All right, Camilla. I guess we say goodbye. I’m going to the military, anyway. I won’t be around for a few years.”
She’d flinched and drawn a deep breath. “We’re just opposites and neither one of us wants to change.”
“I guess you’re right. One goodbye kiss,” he’d said, kissing her again, knowing he had lost her. Hurting, getting aroused again, he’d held her tightly and they’d kissed.
He’d released her abruptly and stepped back, clenching his fists so he wouldn’t pick her up and carry her to bed. “This is goodbye. It’s what you want. Not what I want. You’re very special, Camilla. I am who I am and I guess you can say the same about yourself. You fuss about your brother being an alpha male, as well as your dad, but that didn’t stop you from loving Thane and turning to him when you had a problem. Aw, hell. There’s too much about me you don’t like—too much you love that I don’t want any part of, like living in the city and working here. I’m here now more than I want to be so I can take you out. Well, that’s over. I’m going into the Army and I’ll be gone. We just said goodbye.”
Tears had spilled over and run down her cheeks, but her frown had kept him from closing the space between them to take her into his arms.
“You’re right, Noah. I don’t want to live on a ranch or in the country. You’re a strong man and you’ll always want life your way.”
When he’d started to reply, she’d held up her hand as if to stop him. “I know what you’re about to say—that I have a strong, take-charge tendency myself. Maybe so. We’re opposites in too many ways. All we have that goes smoothly is sex. That’s breathtaking. But there’s more to life than that. We have to get out of bed, and from the moment we do, we’re opposites. So I guess it is goodbye,” she’d said, wiping her eyes.
“You know how I feel about you, but I have to be honest and I have to be me.”
He’d turned and walked out of her condo, knowing it was the end of their relationship and wondering how long it would take him to end his feelings for her.
The memory faded, but instead of feeling like three years ago, the pain of that breakup and goodbye was fresh. His feelings for her hadn’t ended as he had thought they would when he was on active duty. He’d thought he was getting over her and then one glimpse of her set him back. There was one ray of hope for getting past the hurt from their breakup—he had done far better when he was away from her.
As soon as he delivered her baby’s present and was in Mike Moretti’s wedding, he would rarely ever see her. Thane was gone now, so his friendship with her brother could no longer throw them together. He planned to stay in Dallas for several weeks to be close to his dad. He would have to come and go from the ranch and spend more time in the city than he had originally expected.
There hadn’t been a beautiful, fun, sexy woman in his life since he went into the Army. If he found one, maybe he could move on completely and the hurt over Camilla would lessen and disappear.
Convincing himself that life would improve, he tried to focus on the things he needed to get done while he was in Dallas. He needed to go see his dad. After that, he wanted to go by the family’s commercial real-estate business. The company headquarters of Grant Realty was in downtown Dallas, which was run by Ben, and they had two suburban offices covering the metropolitan area of Dallas and Fort Worth, Eli running one of those and Stefanie managing the other.
And he also needed to deal with Thane’s final wishes. Camilla ought to have her baby home and available for him to visit early next week. Before that, Noah would see her in Mike’s wedding because he would be a groomsman and he knew she would be one of the bridesmaids, and then Camilla would be out of his life. They would be finished and he could say goodbye and, hopefully, forget her.
* * *