Her Torrid Temporary Marriage

She looked down and ran a slender finger along the rail. Her nails were neatly trimmed, and her hands looked delicate, even though he knew she probably had as many calluses on her palms as he did.

“It may sound foolish, but for years I’ve dreamed of going to law school. I’ve read some law books.” When she looked up, he saw the defiance in her bright gaze, as if she expected him to laugh at her.

Instead, he felt defeated, because she had seemed the perfect answer to his dilemma. And he felt the old guilt tug at him as he remembered how much Lisa had hated ranch life and begged him to move to the city.

“Well, there goes that idea.”

“I appreciate your offer,” she said, dropping her hand from the fence. “I’m flattered.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “You were the perfect solution. I thought we’d fit together like salt and pepper.”

“I can’t imagine moving here,” she said. “But I’m flattered.”

He gave her a faint smile and tugged on her braid. “You underestimate yourself.”

Pleased, she smiled up at hun. “Can you take me home now?”

He nodded and started walking back toward the pickup with her. “Are there any other relatives to take over the ranch?”

“No. Dad’s only brother settled in Arizona on a ranch that belongs to his wife’s family. Uncle Dan won’t leave Arizona.”

“Maybe you should have discussed this with your dad.”

“It never occurred to him that I could possibly want anything else, and it hasn’t occurred to Gran. And neither one would have accepted it. My sisters had a long history of rebellion from the time they were old enough to know there was some other place in the world to live.”

Josh could understand why it had never occurred to her father or grandmother that she would want to leave. Ranches all over the state had been passed down through generations of the same families. It was tradition, accepted from the time of childhood. He had never given a thought to doing anything else, and it hadn’t occurred to him that Mattie could possibly want to leave. There was no boy in the Ryan family to pass the ranch to, and Mattie was the oldest girl. And the only one who had taken to ranching.

Disappointment washed through Josh again along with another prickle of conscience for keeping Lisa on the ranch when she didn’t want to stay. Keeping her until it killed her.

He glanced at the woman at his side, cunous about her and her dreams. “Why law school?”

“I think it started when I was ten and Mom was killed by a drunk driver who had a long record of arrests. He got away without even a fine, and I was so incensed that I dreamed of growing up and becoming a lawyer and prosecuting people like that.” She smiled up at him. “That was idealistic, and I was filled with childish dreams, but the idea of becoming a lawyer appeals to me. I don’t want this rural existence all my life. I feel like there’s more out there, and I want to have a chance to see for myself.”

“What did you major in?”

“Animal science. I had a minor in English—it was what I liked the most. But I loved my Dad and would never have hurt him. He wanted me to study animal science.”

“I dropped out my junior year to come home and run this place when my dad died,” Josh said.

“It appears you’ve done a good job.”

“I try. Your father could have lived to a ripe old age. If he had, what would you have done?”

“I probably would have stayed forever. Maybe at some point I would have told him what I wanted, but I doubt it. It’s lonely without him, and the battles are constant—weather, sick animals—you know all the problems involved. Ranching isn’t the same without him, and I don’t want to fight for the ranch all my life.”

They walked in silence until they reached the pickup, and then she turned to face him. “Josh, keep looking and find a nanny. You’ll be glad later. You shouldn’t go into some loveless, arranged marriage.”

“I want to keep Elizabeth,” he said, feeling his heart constrict because he couldn’t work and care for a baby at the same time.

“Let me run an ad and interview nannies. Maybe if they have to reply to me, I can help find the right one for you.”

“That’s a thought. I might do that. I’ll write out my ad and bring it by.”

She smiled, her full lips parting, a sparkle coming to her green eyes that was inviting. Why hadn’t she dated? he wondered again. Just wrong men and wrong times? He contemplated what her life would be like if she left the ranch. “I think if you go to law school and become a lawyer, you’ll find what you’re looking for...and someone you do want to date.”

She shrugged. “I’m twenty-eight and getting set in my ways.”

“Come on, old lady. I’ll take you home.”

Relaxed, glancing at his house briefly, she climbed into the pickup and rode in comfortable silence while Josh drove her home. As he walked to the door with her, he paused and placed his hands on her shoulders. Instant awareness of his touch, of his nearness, flashed through her, and for one moment she saw clearly what she had tossed away tonight.

“If you change your mind about lawyering, let me know.”

“Bnng your ad over, and I’ll run it and do some interviews.”

“Sure, Mattie.” He brushed her cheek with a kiss. His lips were warm; there was a faint smell of beer on his breath. For a moment she wanted to lean closer, wanted to discover what it was like to kiss him. She suspected it would be best that she never know.

“Thanks for dinner, Josh. I’ll never forget your proposal.”

“I’m damn disappointed, Mattie. I’ll be back tomorrow or the next day with my ad.” He grinned and shrugged.

His lopsided grin exuded charm. Creases appeared in his cheeks; his even white teeth were a contrast to his dark skin. She could remember times in the past when she had watched him in public places and seen him laughing, looking enormously appealing. If he ever turned on the charm, she thought, it would be impossible to resist him.

She watched him stride through the darkness to his pickup and climb inside, roaring away down the road. As he drove away, loss swamped her. She looked at the land that she felt part of; the same land that sometimes made her feel suffocated. The ranch was a tough taskmaster; decisions were difficult, and the burden of running the place was squarely on her shoulders.

Darkness enveloped the ranch, and quiet settled, reminding her of how alone she was. Had she made the mistake of her life tonight? If she sold the ranch and left, would she later regret what she had done and look back on Josh’s offer with longing? A loveless marriage couldn’t be a good bargain. She thought again of Josh’s fleeting kiss on her cheek. He was handsome, exciting, but she suspected that in the kind of arrangement he wanted he would barely be aware of her.

With a shrug she went inside, thankful Gran had already gone to her own small house that was several hundred yards down the road. Right now Mattie didn’t feel like answering a lot of questions about why she was home so early and why she wouldn’t be going out with Josh again.

Two days later, as she stepped out of a stall in the barn, a dark silhouette filled the sunny doorway.

“Mattie?”

Her pulse jumped when she recognized Josh’s bass voice. “What are you doing here?” She felt a guilty blush heat her cheeks, because his proposal had occupied most of her waking hours. Even though she had said no, she couldn’t forget or get Josh out of her mind. As she watched him approach, she remembered her offer. “Did you get your ad written?”

“Irma said you were in the barn with a sick mare.”

Mattie turned to rub the sorrel’s neck. “She’s better. Doc was here yesterday, and she’s come around nicely.”

Josh moved closer to look at the mare. In jeans and a white T-shirt, Josh made her aware of her own appearance, and she pushed wayward tendrils of hair from her face.

“Do you have the ad?” she repeated.

Josh turned to her, and her pulse jumped another notch as she faced him. He pushed his broad-bnmmed black hat to the back of his head and thrust out his hand beside her to lean slightly against the stall while he moved closer to her. His T-shirt clung to his muscled chest and powerful biceps. Her heart began hammering as she gazed up at him. He shook his head, and she could see a look of determination in his gaze that made her mouth go dry.

“Mattie, you said you’ll never sell this place as long as your grandmother is alive. Did you really mean that?”

“Yes. I won’t do that to any of my family. After Irma is gone, then I’ll sell,” she replied, and hoped her voice didn’t sound breathless. Josh was standing too close, watching her too intently. And she could tell by his stance that he was going to try to talk her into something.