He said reflectively, ‘Tarn. That’s a very lovely name—and unusual too.’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘A little too much so, I used to think. There can’t be many girls called after a mountain lake, so naturally, when I went to school, I got re-christened “Drippy”.’
His brows lifted. ‘Anyone less so I’ve yet to meet. What did you do?’
‘Nothing.’ Tarn shrugged. ‘Just pretended I hadn’t heard and didn’t care. But the name stuck and followed me from year to year. I hoped they’d get tired of the joke but they didn’t.’
He pulled a face. ‘Kids can be monsters. Have you ever told your parents what they put you through and extracted a grovelling apology?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘I never did.’ And paused. ‘Anyway, where did Caz come from?’
He sighed. ‘You’re not the only sufferer. I was born on January the Sixth and my mother insisted I should be called after one of the three Kings, and fortunately she picked Caspar over Melchior and Balthazar or I should have been in even more trouble.’
He smiled at her. ‘So that’s the first thing we have in common.’
‘And probably the one and only.’ She managed to infuse her tone with a note of faint regret.
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ She shrugged again. ‘You own the company. I work for it.’
‘And you find that an insuperable obstacle in the way of our better acquaintance?’
‘I think it has to be.’ She gave him a reflective look. ‘And if you’re honest, so do you.’
Except honesty isn’t really your thing, is it, Mr Mighty Publishing Tycoon?
He spoke slowly, his lean, brown fingers toying with the stem of his glass in a way that dried her throat in some inexplicable manner. ‘If you’re asking whether or not I usually date my employees, the answer is an emphatic “No.”’ He added, ‘Besides, this isn’t really a date.’
She flushed. ‘No—no, I understand that.’
‘But it will be next time.’ It was said casually, almost thrown away, and, with that, the wine arrived, followed almost immediately by their first course choices, and Tarn, biting back an instinctive gasp of surprise, was left floundering, even wondering if she’d heard him correctly.
Because it was all happening too fast. And this was not part of the plan at all. He was not supposed to be in control. She was.
She tried to concentrate her whole attention on the gnocchi in its wonderful creamy sauce, but, in spite of herself, found that she was stealing covert glances at him under her lashes. No matter what her secret feelings might be, she could not deny his attraction. Or this slow, almost inexorable build in her physical awareness of him. His mouth—the way his smile lit his eyes, just as Evie had said—his hands…
All of them things she had not allowed for. And what she least wanted to deal with.
But, for now, there was chat. In any other circumstances, an easy, relaxed exchange of views on books, music and the theatre. Perfectly normal and acceptable. But, here and now, feeling more like a journey through a minefield.
Don’t be paranoid, she whispered silently. Where’s the harm in his knowing you like Margaret Atwood and John Le Carré? What does it matter if you prefer Bach to Handel and Mozart to both of them? Is it a state secret that your favourite Shakespeare play is Much Ado about Nothing?
For heaven’s sake, relax. You needed to engage his interest. You’ve succeeded beyond your wildest dreams. So capitalise on it.
The saltimbocca was served, delicate veal escalopes wrapped round prosciutto and sage leaves, accompanied by green beans and lightly sautéed potatoes. The white wine, fragrant as a flower, was poured.
Caz raised his glass. ‘I should propose a toast,’ he said. ‘“To us” seems slightly presumptuous at this stage, so let’s drink to the health of your patient instead, and hope for a complete recovery.’
Her hand jerked, and a few droplets of wine splashed on to her shirt as she stared at him.
She said huskily, ‘What do you mean?’
His brows lifted in faint surprise. ‘I was told you were back in London because of a family illness. Did Rob Wellington get it wrong?’
‘No, he’s perfectly correct,’ she said. She drew a deep breath. Forced a smile. ‘I—I suppose I didn’t expect him to pass it on.’
‘He feels you’ll become a potentially valuable member of the workforce, and is worried we’ll lose you.’ He paused. ‘I imagine you’ll be planning to return to the States at some point—when there’s no longer any cause for concern.’
‘Why, yes,’ she said. ‘But it probably won’t be any time soon. Progress is steady but slow, I’m afraid.’
‘Is it a close relative who’s sick?’
‘My cousin.’ She met his gaze calmly. ‘She hasn’t anyone else.’ After all, Aunt Hazel was out of the equation for the foreseeable future, so it was almost the truth and easier to remember than an outright lie.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘It must be very worrying for you.’
‘Well, yes, it was at first,’ Tarn said. And how dare you sayyou’re sorry when you don’t mean it—utter some meaningless, clichéd regret when it’s all your fault that it ever happened.
She swallowed back the words—the accusations that she wanted to scream at him. Introduced a bright note into her voice. ‘But I hope she’s over the worst of it now.’
That was good, she thought. That suggested an eventual happy outcome on the horizon. And not a hint of breakdown, or isolation, or the kind of secrets that would lead to destruction.
At the same time, she didn’t want to answer any more questions in case the answers became too revealing, so she decided to drag the conversation back to less personal topics.
She looked down at her plate. ‘You were right about the veal,’ she added lightly. ‘It’s delicious—absolutely marvellous.’
‘So you’d risk having dinner with me again?’
Oh, God, out of the frying pan straight into the fire…
She drank some of her wine, letting it blossom in her mouth, while she considered what to say.
‘I don’t think that would be altogether appropriate.’ She permitted herself a rueful shrug.
‘Ah,’ he said. ‘For the reasons already stated?’
‘Of course.’
‘And not because you find me physically repugnant?’
She leaned back in her chair. ‘Now you’re laughing at me.’
‘Not really,’ he said. ‘Simply trying to establish quite an important point. Well?’
She hesitated. Sent him a defensive look. ‘You don’t make things easy, do you?’
‘Perhaps not,’ he said softly. ‘Maybe because I prefer to aim for—ultimately and mutually rewarding.’