“Jess? I asked if you’d married,” he repeated, those intriguing eyes examining her carefully as he spoke.
She snapped back to the conversation. Married. The only man she’d ever wanted to marry was standing in front of her.
“No, I didn’t.”
His head tilted slightly, not really a nod but more of a questioning motion. And then Chad being Chad asked, “Why not?”
She couldn’t help it; she laughed. “You still say whatever you want, whenever you want, don’t you? You always said if you wanted to know something you simply asked, and people told you.”
He grinned, and the deep dimple in his left cheek winked at her. “Hey, it usually works.” Then he raised a dark brow. “So, why not?”
“I guess because the right person never asked.” She swallowed and wondered if she’d given too much away with that remark. The right one would have asked, she knew, if she’d told him the truth six years ago.
He took a small step forward, closer. “Jess, a lot happened back then, but I never really knew why you felt like you had to leave. Why wouldn’t you return my calls? Or tell me exactly where you were?”
“You were going off to school,” she said simply. “And I needed to get away.”
“Without saying goodbye? To me?” He shook his head. “It never made sense then, and it doesn’t now. Tell me the truth, Jess.”
Her heart thudded so hard she was certain she could feel it against her ribs. The truth. The truth was beautiful, wonderful, alive and exciting…and there was no way she could blurt it out now.
How would he ever forgive her?
“I told you, Chad, I needed to get away.” She glanced toward the parking lot. “And I really should go now. It’s late—” she shivered “—and cold.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kept you out here this long,” he said, as caring and thoughtful as he’d always been. “But I’m glad you’re back, and I’m glad I saw you tonight.”
“Me, too.” She turned to go but knew that she wouldn’t be able to walk away that easily. Chad wanted to know more about why she left six years ago, and he wasn’t the type of guy to give up when he wanted to know something.
“Jess?”
She took a deep breath of cool air, then turned back toward those green and gold eyes. “Yes?”
“It’s been a long time, but I still have a lot of questions about what happened, and I want to talk.”
She owed him that. Then she winced, recalling how he’d called her repeatedly and left her message after message telling her how much he cared for her, how much he loved her. She owed him more than a talk. She owed him the truth. “Okay.”
“What time do your classes end tomorrow?” he asked.
“Tomorrow’s Friday. Stockville doesn’t have classes on Friday, professor.” She winked at him, and he shook his head, obviously embarrassed by his mistake. Clearly, this meeting was as awkward for him as it was for her.
“I’ll tell you the truth, Jess. Seeing you tonight has kind of thrown my world off kilter. I’d thought, well, I guess I thought I’d never see you again.”
Jessica knew exactly what he meant. But he would have seen her, whenever she got the courage to find him and tell him…everything.
“So let me try again,” he continued. “I’m assuming you just got out of class at seven-thirty, so is that the end of your day for Tuesdays and Thursdays?”
She nodded. “I’m taking one Monday-Wednesday class, so I’m done at five on those days. Taking two Tuesday-Thursday classes, so I finish up at seven-thirty.”
“Tuesdays and Thursdays are my late nights, too,” he said. “There’s a little coffee and danish shop down the street. Would you want to go there after you finish your classes on Tuesday?”
She hesitated, ran her teeth across her lower lip. If she went home right after her last class, she might get a chance to put Nathan to bed. He was still getting used to his new bed, so she really didn’t want to leave him to go to sleep without a good night kiss. “What about Tuesday afternoon, before my class?”
“I have classes straight through from noon until seven-thirty.”
“Oh.” She needed to talk to him, and she was certain that there was a reason she’d run into him on this campus. She was a big believer in God’s plan, and she knew that He wouldn’t have placed her here with Chad again unless she was supposed to do something. Who was she kidding? She knew what she needed to do. What she didn’t know was…how.
“I promise I won’t keep you long. A half hour,” he said.
“A half hour would be okay, I suppose.” She smiled, and turned to go again, already pondering how she would tell him the truth.
But Chad’s next words caused her to stop completely.
“I have a daughter.”
Jessica’s breath caught in her throat, and she had to replay the words to process them completely.
“I have a daughter.” A daughter.
Gaining her composure, she turned back toward him.
“Her name is Lainey, and she’s, well, pretty amazing.” He smiled, the obvious pride he felt for his child undeniable in the statement.
Jessica’s eyes started to tingle, and she prayed he’d believe the tears were from the cold. “I’m very happy for you,” she said. “I’m sure she’s extremely amazing.” Then she swallowed, cleared her throat and said exactly what she hadn’t planned to say to him tonight. “I have a son.”
The shock on his face matched hers upon learning that he had a little girl.
“You have a son?”
Jess nodded and smiled, her cheeks pressing upward and causing that tiny river of tears to spill over. Again, she prayed he thought it was from the cold. “His name is Nathan.” Then she laughed and added, “And he’s pretty amazing, too.”
“I’m sure he is.”
They both stood there for a moment, a bounty of words and explanations tumbling through her thoughts but none spoken.
Then, after several heartbeats of standing there in that cool January air, Chad broke the uncomfortable silence.
“So coffee, Tuesday after class? And we’ll catch up on everything we’ve missed.”
“Yes, we will,” she said, her words barely above a whisper as a result of the lump in her throat. Then she moved away from Chad Martin, away from the only man she’d ever loved and away from the man whose eyes were identical to the ones she’d see when she returned home…to his son.
Chapter Two
Jessica drove mechanically back to Claremont, her mind processing the magnitude of what she’d learned on campus tonight. Chad was an instructor at Stockville Community College. He’d moved back to Claremont and was teaching. She shook her head at that. He’d wanted that medical degree so much. Why had he given up on that dream?
She’d kept her pregnancy from him to protect that dream, to make certain that he achieved that goal first before she told him about their son. Then when she’d come back to Claremont three years ago to tell him about Nathan, Chad’s sister Becky had said he was done at UGA, that he’d actually gotten his bachelor’s degree in three years and that he was going to Emory for med school and getting married. That was the last time Jess had spoken to her old friend, since Becky had also married and moved away with her army husband. She’d heard they were stationed in Alaska. And when Becky moved so far away, the two friends had lost touch without Jessica ever telling her friend she was an aunt…or telling Chad he was a daddy.
And Jess had consequently lost her primary link to Nathan’s father.