Wilder Hearts: Once Upon a Pregnancy

She nodded, feeling a bit robotic.

When the doctor and his nurse left her alone in the room, she removed the drafty gown and got dressed. Next, she stopped at the checkout window, where she made a payment.

On the way out of the office, she spotted Millie seated in the waiting room, near a potted palm.

Millie looked up from the magazine she was reading, her gaze landing on Simone. “Hey! Fancy meeting you here.”

Simone had thought the exact thing. And for a moment, she hoped that Millie was here for the same reason, that God had listened to her prayers, and she’d somehow become pregnant.

“How about that,” Simone said.

Millie set the magazine in her lap. “I’m here for my yearly Pap smear. How about you?”

Simone didn’t have the heart to tell her she was pregnant. And for more reasons than one.

If she miscarried, which was a possibility, especially in the first three months, and Millie was expecting to adopt the baby, it would be an unnecessary disappointment and heartbreak for her friend.

And secondly, she wasn’t ready to let the cat out of the bag.

Or is it more than that? a small inner voice asked. Are you trying to hold on to the baby, as well as the news?

Simone quickly shook off the stray thought.

“Pap smears aren’t something I look forward to, but they’re very important,” she told her friend, tottering on the truth and a lie of omission.

“I know.” Millie scanned the room and zeroed in on a petite brunette who looked to be about nine months pregnant and ready to pop. When her gaze returned to Simone, her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Simone’s heart went out to the woman who would make a wonderful mother. Again she thought about giving her baby to Millie and Fred. If she were to do that, the child would undoubtedly grow up happy and loved.

Yet a sudden sense of uneasiness settled over her when she thought about handing over her child, a selfish response that left her with a nagging sense of guilt.

Simone didn’t have any business even thinking about keeping the baby.

So what had caused the momentary change of heart?

Chapter Nine

Last week, Mike had invited Simone out to dinner to Rafael’s, a classy restaurant in downtown Walnut River, complete with candles, white linen tablecloths and the best chef and service for miles around.

For a woman who’d never had a romantic bone in her body, she was sorely tempted to don that only-worn-once black dress she owned—or maybe buy a new one—and let him sweep her off to a dreamy dinner for two. She could almost imagine herself sitting across a candlelit table from the most handsome man in all of Walnut River, a young, dark-haired hunk who clearly had eyes for her.

Little by little, Mike had been whittling away at her resolve to remain single and unattached, which had protected her well over the years. And at times, she found herself leaning toward sentiment rather than wisdom.

So, she’d declined—with more reluctance than she cared to admit.

Then, on Tuesday, he’d suggested they each take some vacation time and go to Martha’s Vineyard for a few days. He’d said he wanted to take her to the Cape before the tourist season kicked in.

She’d found the idea strangely appealing and the thought of the possible sleeping arrangements…intriguing.

But again she’d refused.

She didn’t think it would be wise to leave the hospital when it looked as though the allegations of insurance fraud were being investigated. Nor did she know how long she could fight her attraction to a man whose perseverance was both frustrating and flattering.

And now, Mike stood on her front porch with a bouquet of roses in one hand and two white bags in the other. Apparently, he was at it again—trying to make more of their relationship than it really was.

Still, as much as she hated to admit it, she’d begun to enjoy Mike’s company, so she invited him in.

The first thing he did, after handing her the flowers, was to kick off his shoes by the door. “If you’ll put those roses in some water, I’ll get everything set up.”

“What do you mean?”

He tossed her a boyish grin that knocked her heart on end. “I’m setting the mood. Our food will taste better this way. We’re going to sit on the floor and use chopsticks instead of forks.”

She watched as he placed the bags that boasted the red pagoda logo of the Tokyo Palace on the coffee table. Then he removed two cushions from the couch and set them on the floor.

Too cute, she thought, heading for the kitchen. And far too charming for his own good.

Hers, too, she realized. Sometimes, in spite of their opposing goals and dreams, she found herself weakening toward him and wondering, What if…

And not just sexually speaking.

While she stood at the sink and filled a vase with water, she glanced out into the yard, where Woofer and Wags lay in the shade of an elm tree. The dogs had grown comfortable with each other in the past week or so.

The same could be said for Simone and Mike, she supposed.

She had to admit that she admired his spirit, as well as his thoughtfulness, and a solid friendship was clearly developing.

Would that make telling him about the baby easier or more difficult?

She couldn’t be sure.

Maybe she ought to just get it over with while they ate dinner—a game plan which seemed wise, especially after the dream she’d had last night. She’d awakened in the midst of it and found the image so unsettling that she’d climbed out of bed at 4:00 a.m. and put on a pot of water for a cup of tea.

In her dream, she’d held a baby girl, a sweet bundle of flannel and lace who’d had Mike’s black hair and green eyes. The smiling cherub had settled comfortably in Simone’s arm and turned a new mommy’s heart inside out—until the helpless babe began to cry.

A sense of panic had settled in, waking Simone from her sleep.

She feared that dreams like that might start hounding her subconscious until she finally told Mike she was pregnant and was able to put it all behind her.

Mike might have taken her past in stride, but he couldn’t convince her that she hadn’t come away from it unscathed.

And although he wasn’t worried about how she’d handle marriage and a family, she wasn’t ready to gamble with a child’s psyche.

Before the water threatened to spill out of the vase, she shut off the spigot. Next she cut off about an inch or so from the stems of the roses and arranged them carefully. When she carried the red buds back into the living room, Mike appeared to have everything planned just so.

“Do you care where I put these?” she asked.

“Not at all.”