Remedia Amoris; or, The Remedy of Love

Thus far do I give an answer to Envy; tighten the reins with more vigour, and speed onward, Poet, in thy circle.

Ergo ubi concubitus, et opus juvenile petetur;Et prope promissæ tempora noctis erunt;Gaudia ne dominæ, pleno si pectore sûmes,Te capiant: ineas quamlibet ante velim.Quamlibet invenias, in qua tibi prima voluptasDesinat: a primâ proxima segnis erit.Sustentata Venus gratissima: frigore soles,Sole juvant umbræ: grata fit unda siti.Et et, et dicam, Venerem quoque junge figurâ,Quâ minime jungi quamque decere putes.

And 'tis no hard matter to do this; few women confess the truth to themselves; and there is no point in which they think that they are unbecoming. Then, too, I recommend you to open all the windows, and to remark in full daylight the limbs that are unsightly. But as soon as your transports have come to a termination, and the body with the mind lies entirely exhausted; while you are feeling regret, and wishing that you had formed a connexion with no female, and are seeming to yourself that for a long time you will have nothing to do with another; then note in your memory whatever blemishes there are in her person; and keep your eyes always fixed upon her faulty points.

Perhaps some one will pronounce these matters trivial (for indeed they are so); but things which, singly, are of no avail, when united are of benefit. The little viper kills with its sting the bulky bull; by the dog that is not large, full oft is the boar held fast. Do you only fight with a number of them, and unite my precepts together; from so many there will be a large amount. But since there are so many ways and attitudes, every point is not to be yielded to my recommendations. Perhaps, in the opinion of another, that will be a fault, by the doing of which your feelings may not be hurt. Because this person, perchance, has seen the charms of the naked person exposed, his passion, which was in mid career, stops short: another, when his mistress has received him, has been shocked at some sight which creates disgust.

Alas! if these things could influence you, you are trifling; torches but luke-warm have been influencing your breast. That Boy would more strongly draw his bended bow: you, ye wounded throng, will need more a substantial aid. What think you of the man who lies concealed, and beholds sights that usage itself forbids him to see? May the Gods forbid that I should advise any one to adopt such a course! Though it should prove of use, still it should not be tried.

I advise you, also, to have two mistresses at the same time. If a person can have still more, he is more secure. When the feelings, sundered into two parts, are wavering in each direction, the one passion diminishes the strength of the other. By many streamlets are great rivers lessened, and the exhausted flame, the fuel withdrawn, goes out. But one anchor does not sufficiently hold the waxed ships; a single hook is not enough for the flowing stream. He who beforehand has provided for himself a twofold solace, has already proved the victor in the lofty citadel. But, by you, who, to your misfortune, have devoted yourself to but one mistress, now, at all events, a new passion must be sought. For Procris 1244 did Minos abandon his flame for Pasiphaë; overcome by the wife from Ida, 1245 the first wife gave way. Calirrhoë, received to a share of his couch, caused the brother of 1246 Amphilochus not always to be in love with the daughter of Phegeus. Oeuone, too, would have retained Paris to her latest years, if she had not been supplanted by her Aebalian rival. The beauty of his wife would have pleased the Odrysian 1247 tyrant, but superior were the charms of her imprisoned sister.

Why occupy myself with illustrations, the number of which exhausts me? Every passion is conquered by a fresh successor. With greater fortitude does a mother regret one out of many, than she who, 1248 weeping, exclaims: "Thou wast my only one." But lest, perchance, you should suppose that I am framing new laws for you, (and would that the glory of the discovery were my own!) the son of Atreus perceived this; for what could he not see, under whose command was the whole of Greece? He, victorious, loved Chryseis, captured by his own arms; but her aged parent foolishly went crying in every direction. Why dost thou weep, troublesome old man? They are well suited for each other. By thy affection, foolish man, thou art doing an injury to thy child. After Calchas, secure under the protection of Achilles, had ordered 1249 her to be restored, and she was received back to the house of her father: "There is," said the son of Atreus, "another fair one very closely resembling her beauty; and if the first syllable 1250 would allow of it, the name would, be the same; Achilles, if he were wise, would give her up to me of his own accord; if not, he will experience my might. But if any one of you, ye Greeks, disapproves of this deed;'tis something to wield the sceptre with a powerful hand. For if I am your king, and if she does not pass her nights with me, then let Thersites succeed to my sway." Thus he said; and he had her as his great consolation for her predecessor; and the first passion was entombed in a new passion. By the example, then, of Agamemnon, admit a fresh flame, that your love may be severed in two directions. If you inquire where you are to find them? Go and read through my treatises on the art of Love; then may your bark speed on, well freighted with the fair.

But if my precepts are of any avail, if by my lips Apollo teaches aught that is advantageous to mortals; although, to your misfortune, you should be burning in the midst of Ætna, take care to appear to your mistress more cold than ice. Pretend, too, that you are unhurt; if, perchance, you should grieve at all, let her not perceive it; and laugh when, within yourself, you could have wept. I do not bid you to sever your passion in the very midst; the laws of my sway are not so harsh as that. Pretend to be that which you are not, and feign that your ardour is renounced; so, in reality, you will become what you are practising to be. Often, that I might not drink, I have wished to appear asleep; 1251 while I have so seemed, I have surrendered my conquered eyes to slumber. I have laughed at his being deceived, who was pretending that he was in love; and the fowler has fallen into his own nets.

Through habit does love enter the mind; through habit is it forgotten. He who will, be able to pretend that he is unhurt, will be unhurt. Does she tell you to come on a night appointed, do you come. Should you come, and the gate be closed; put up with it. Neither utter blandishments, nor yet utter reproaches against the door-post, and do not lay down your sides upon the hard threshold. The next morning comes; let your words be without complaints, and bear no signs of grief upon your features. She will soon lay aside her haughtiness, when she shall see you growing cool: this advantage, too, will you be gaining from my skill. And yet do you deceive yourself as well, and let not this 1252 be the end of your love. Full oft does the horse struggle against the reins when presented. Let your object lie concealed; that will come to pass which you shall not avow. The nets that are too easily seen, the bird avoids.

Let her not congratulate herself so much that she can hold you in contempt; take courage, that to your courage she may yield. Her door is open, perchance; though she should call you back, do you go out. A night is named; doubt whether you can come on the night appointed.'Tis an easy thing to be able to endure this; unless you are deficient in wisdom, you may more readily derive amusement from one more condescending. And can any person call my precepts harsh? Why, I am acting the part of a reconciler even. For as some dispositions vary, I am varying my precepts as well. There are a thousand forms of the malady; a thousand forms of cure will there be. Some bodies are with difficulty healed by the sharp iron: potions and herbs have proved an aid to many. You are too weak, and cannot go away, and are held in bonds, and cruel Love is treading your neck beneath his foot. Cease your struggling; let the winds bring back your sails; and whither the tide calls you, thither let your oars proceed.

That thirst, parched by which you are perishing, must be satisfied by you; I permit it; now may you drink in the midst of the stream. But drink even more than what your appetite requires; make the water you have swallowed flow back from your filled throat. Always enjoy the company of your mistress, no one preventing it; let her occupy your nights, her your days. Make satiety your object; satiety puts an end to evils even. And even now, when you think you can do without her, do you remain with her. Until you have fully cloyed yourself, and satiety removes your passion, let it not please you to move from the house you loathe. That love, too, which distrust nurtures, is of long endurance; should you wish to lay this aside, lay aside your apprehensions. Who fears that she may not be his own, and that some one may rob him of her, that person will be hardly curable with the skill of Machaon. Of two sons, a mother generally loves him the most, for whose return she feels apprehensions, because he is bearing arms.

There is, near the Collinian 1253 gate, a venerable temple; the lofty Ervx gave this temple its name. There, is Lethæan Love, who heals the mind; and in cold water does he place his torches. There, too, in their prayers, do the youths pray for forgetfulness; and any fair one, if she has been smitten by an obdurate man. He thus said to me; (I am in doubt whether it was the real Cupid, or whether a vision; but I think it was a vision.)

"O Naso, thou who dost sometimes cause, sometimes relieve, the passion full of anxiety, add this to thy precepts as well. Let each person recall to mind his own mishaps; let him dismiss love; to all has the Deity assigned more or less of woes. He that stands in awe of the Puteal 1254 and of Janus, 1255 and of the Calends swiftly coming, let the borrowed sum of money be his torment. He whose father is harsh, though other things should prove to his wish, before his eyes must his harsh father be placed. Another one is living wretchedly with a wife poorly dowried, let him think that his wife is an obstacle to his fortune. You have a vineyard, on a generous soil, fruitful in choice grapes; be in dread lest the shooting grape should be blighted. Another has à ship on its return home; 1256 let him be always thinking that the sea is boisterous, and that the sea-shore is polluted by his losses. Let a son in service 1257 be the torment of one, a marriageable daughter of yourself. And who is there that has not a thousand causes for anxiety? That, Paris, thou mightst hate thine own cause of sorrow, thou oughtst to have placed the deaths of thy brothers before thine eyes."

Still more was he saying, when the childish form deserted my placid slumber, if slumber only it was. What am I to do? In the midst of the waves Palinurus 1258 deserts my bark; I am forced to enter on an unknown track. Whoever you are that love, avoid solitary spots; solitary spots are injurious. Whither are you flying? In the throng you may be in greater safety. You have no need of lonely places (lonesome spots increase the frenzy); the multitude will bring you aid. You will be sad, if you are alone; and before your eyes will stand the form of your forsaken mistress, as though her own self. For this reason is the night more melancholy than the hours of sunshine; the throng of your companions is then wanting to moderate your affliction.

And fly not from conversation, nor let your door be closed; and do not, in tears, hide your countenance in the shade. Always have a Pylades to console his Orestes; this, too, will prove no slight advantage in friendship. What but the solitary woods injured Phyllis? The cause of her death is well known; she was without a companion. She was going, just as the barbarous multitude celebrating the triennial 1259 sacrifice to the Edonian 1260 Bacchus, is wont to go, with dishevelled locks. And at one time, as far as she could, she looked out upon the wide ocean; at another, in her weariness, she lay her down upon the sandy shore. "Perfidious Demophoon!" she cried aloud to the deaf waves; and her words, as she grieved, were interrupted by sobs. There was a narrow path, a little darkened by the long shadows, along which, full oft, did she turn her steps towards the sea. Her ninth journey was being paced by her in her wretchedness. "See thou to this," says she; and, turning pale, she eyes her girdle. She looks, too, on the boughs; she hesitates, and she recoils at that which she dares to do; and she shudders, and then she raises her fingers to her throat.

Sithonian damsel, I would that, then, at least, thou hadst not been alone; ye woods, your foliage lost, 1261 you would not then have lamented Phyllis. Ye men that are offended by your mistresses, ye fair that are affronted by the men, from the example of Phyllis, shun too lonesome spots. A youth had done whatever my Muse recommended him, and was almost in the haven of his safety. When he came amid the eager lovers, he relapsed, and Love resumed the weapons which he had laid aside. If any one of you is loving, and does not wish to do so; do you take care, and avoid the contagion. This is often wont to injure the herds as well. While the eyes are looking on the wounded, they themselves are also wounded; many things, too, injure the body by infection. Sometimes water flows from a river that runs near into a spot parched with its dry clods. Love flows on concealedly, if you do not withdraw from him who loves; and we are all of us a set clever at running that risk.

A second one had now been healed; his nearness to her affected him. He proved unable to endure meeting with his mistress. The scar, not sufficiently closed, changed again into the former wound; and my skill met with no success. The fire next door is guarded against with difficulty;'tis prudent to keep away from the neighbouring haunts. Let not that Portico which is wont to receive her as she walks, receive you as well; and let not the same attentions now be paid. Of what use is it to rekindle the feelings, that have cooled, by my advice? Another region must be resorted to, if you can do so. When hungry, you will not be easily restrained, the table being laid; the gushing water, too, provokes excessive thirst.'Tis no easy matter to hold back the bull when he sees the heifer; on seeing the mare, the high-mettled steed is always neighing after her.

When this you have done, when at last you reach the shore, 'tis not enough for you to have abandoned her. Both her sister and her mother must bid you farewell, her nurse, too, her confidant, and whatever other connexion there shall be of your mistress. And let no servant come; and let no little handmaid, feigning to weep, say to you in the name of her mistress, "Hail!" 1262 Nor yet, though you should desire to know, should you ask how she is doing. Defer it; the restraint of the tongue will be to its own advantage.

You, too, who are telling the cause of your liason being discontinued, and are relating many things to be complained of about your mistress; forbear to complain; so, by being silent, you will be taking a better revenge; until she shall vanish from your regrets. And I would rather that you were silent, than that you should talk about having cut her. The man who is too often saying to many a one, "I love her not," is still in love. But with greater certainty is the flame extinguished by degrees, than all of a sudden; cease gradually, and you will be safe. The torrent is wont to run with greater violence than the uninterrupted river; but yet the one is a short-lived, the other a lasting, stream. Let love escape you, and let it depart vanishing into thin air, and let it die out by degrees imperceptible.

But 'tis a crime to hate the fair one so lately loved; such a termination as that is befitting a brutal disposition.'Tis enough not to care for her; he who terminates his love with hate, either still loves on, or with difficulty will cease to be wretched. 'Tis a shocking thing for a man and a woman so lately united to be enemies at once; the Appian 1263 Goddess herself would not approve of such quarrels as those. Full oft do men accuse their mistresses, and still they love them: where no discord arises, Love released, through advice, betakes himself away.

By chance I was in the company 1264 of a young man; a litter contained his mistress; all his expressions were shocking from his frightful threats; and now, about to cite her at law, he said, "Let her come out of the litter!" She did come out; on seeing his mistress, he was dumb. His hands both fell, and his two tablets from out of his hands. He rushed into her em braces; and "thus," said he, "do you prove the conqueror.'

'Tis more safe, and more becoming, to depart in peace, than from the chamber to repair to the litigious Courts. The presents which you have given her, request her to keep without litigation; trivial losses are wont to be of great benefit. But if any accident should bring you together, keep those arms of defence which I am giving, firmly fixed in your mind. Then, there is need of arms; here, most valorous man, use your energies. By your weapon must Penthesilea be overcome. Now let the rival, now the obdurate threshold, when you were her lover, recur to you; now your words uttered in vain in presence of the Gods. Neither arrange your hair, because you are about to approach her; nor let your robe be seen with loose folds 1265 upon the bosom. Have no care to be pleasing to the alienated fair one; now make her to be one of the multitude so far as you are concerned.

But I will tell what especially stands in the way of my endeavours; his own example instructing each individual. We cease to love by slow degrees, because we hope to be loved ourselves; and while each one is satisfying himself, we are ever a credulous set. But do you believe that, in her oaths, neither words (for what is there more deceptive than them?) nor the immortal Deities have any weight. Take care, too, not to be moved by the tears of the fair; they have instructed their eyes how to weep. By arts innumerable are the feelings of lovers laid siege to; just as the rock that is beaten on every side by the waves of the sea. And do not disclose the reasons why you would prefer a separation, nor tell her what you take amiss; still, to yourself, ever grieve on.

And don't recount her failings, lest she should extenuate them. You yourself will prove indulgent; so that her cause will prove better than your own cause. He that is silent, is strong in his resolution; he that utters many reproaches to the fair one, asks for himself to be satisfied by her justification. I would not venture, 1266 after the example of him of Dulichium, to dip the vengeful arrows, nor the glowing torches, in the stream; I shall not clip the empurpled wings of the Boy, the God of Love; nor through my skill shall his hallowed bow be unstrung. 'Tis in accordance with prudence, whatever I sing. Give heed to me as I sing; and Phoebus, giver of health, as thou art wont, be thou propitious to my attempts.

Phoebus is propitious; his lyre sounds; his quiver resounds. By his signs do I recognize the God; Phoebus is propitious. Compare the fleece that has been dyed in the cauldrons of Amyclæ 1267 with the Tyrian purple; the former will be but dull. Do you, too, compare your charmers with the beauteous fair; each one will begin to be ashamed of his own mistress. Both Juno and Pallas may have seemed beauteous to Paris: but Venus surpassed them both when compared with herself. And not the appearance only; compare the manners and the accomplishments as well; only let not your passion prejudice your judgment.

What I shall henceforth sing is but trifling; but trifling as it is, it has proved of service to many; among whom I myself was one. Take care not to read over again the letters that you have kept of the caressing fair one: letters, when read over again, shake even a firm determination. Put the whole of them (though unwillingly you should put them) into the devouring flames; and say, "May this prove the funeral pile of my passion." The daughter of Thestius 1268 burned her son Meleager afar off by means of the billet. Will you, with hesitation, commit the words of perfidy to the flames? If you can, remove her waxen portrait 1269 as well. Why be moved by a dumb likeness? By this means was Laodamia undone. Many localities, too, have bad effects: fly from the spots that were conscious of your embraces; a thousand grounds for sorrow do they contain. Here she has been; here she has laid; in that chamber have we slept; here, in the voluptuous night, has she yielded to me her embraces.

By recollection, love is excited afresh, and the wound renewed is opened; a trifling cause is injurious to the sickly. As, if you were to touch ashes almost cold with sulphur, they would rekindle, and, from a small one, a very great fire would be produced; so, unless you avoid whatever renews love, the flame will be kindled afresh, which just now was not existing. The Argive ships would fain have fled from Caphareus, 1270 and from thee, old man, that didst avenge thy woes with the flames. The daughter of Nisus 1271 past by, the cautious mariner rejoices. Do you avoid the spots which have proved too delightful for you. Let these be your Syrtes; avoid these as your Acroceraunia; 1272 here does the ruthless Charybdis vomit forth and swallow down the waves. Some things there are which cannot be recommended at the bidding of any one; still, the same, if happening by chance, are often wont to be of service.

Had Phædra lost her wealth, thou wouldst, Neptune, have spared thy descendant; 1273 nor would the bull, sent by his ancestor, have startled the steeds. Had you made the Gnossian 1274 damsel poor, she would have loved with prudence. Voluptuous passion is nourished by opulence. Why was there no one to court Hecale, 1275 no one to court Iras? 1276 It was because the one was in want, the other a pauper. Poverty has nothing by which to pamper its passion; still, this is not of so much consequence, that you should desire to be poor.

But let it be of so much consequence to you, as not to be indulging yourself with the Theatres, until Love has entirely departed from your liberated breast. The harps, and the pipes, and the lyres, soften the feelings; the voices, too, and the arms, moved to their proper time. There, everlastingly, the parts of supposed lovers are being acted 1277 in the dance; by his skill, the actor teaches you what to avoid, and what is serviceable. Unwillingly must I say it: meddle not with the amorous Poets; unnaturally do I myself withhold my own productions. Avoid Callimachus; no enemy is he to Love; and together with Callimachus, thou, too, bard of Cos, 1278 art injurious. Beyond a doubt, Sappho has rendered me more lenient to my mistress; and the Teian Muse has imparted manners far from austere. Who can read in safety the lines of Tibullus, or thine, thou, whose sole subject Cynthia was? Who, after reading Gallus, could retire with obdurate feelings? Even my own lines have tones indescribably sweet.

Unless Apollo, the inspirer of my work, is deceiving his bard, a rival is the especial cause of our torments. But do you refrain from conjuring up to yourself any rival; and believe that she lies alone upon her couch. Orestes loved Hermione 1279 more intensely for that very reason; because she had begun to belong to another man. Why, Menelaiis, dost thou grieve? Without thy wife thou didst go to Crete; and thou couldst, at thy ease, be absent from thy spouse. Soon as Paris has carried her off, then at last thou couldst not do without thy wife; through the passion of another was thine own increased. This, too, did Achilles lament, in the case of the daughter of Brises, when taken away from him, that she was administering to the pleasures of the couch of the son of Plisthenes. 1280 And not without reason, 1281 believe me, did he lament. The son of Atreus did that, which if he had not done, he would have been disgracefully torpid. At least, I should have done so, and 1 am not any wiser than he. That was the especial reward for the ill-will he got. For, inasmuch as he swore by his sceptre, that the daughter of Brises had never been touched by him; 'tis clear that he did not think 1282 his sceptre was the Gods.

May the Deities grant that you may be able to pass the threshold of the mistress that you have forsaken; and that your feet may aid your determination. And you will be able; do you only wish to adhere to your purpose. Now it is necessary to go with boldness, now to put spur to the swift steed. Believe that in that cave are the Lotophagi, 1283 in that the Syrens; add sail to your oars. The man, too, who being your rival, you formerly took it amiss; I would have you cease to hold him in the place of an enemy. But, at least, though the hatred should still exist, salute him. When now you shall be able to embrace him, you will be cured.