See you in St. Tropez

In the moments like this I always found myself stunned at how prudent and mercantile my friend could at times be, and a clinical way she could talk about certain things.

“I can’t produce an answer right now, you know. I don’t really know what to say to this. At least, not yet. I need more time to find myself. I’m sure the day will come soon.”

“What exactly? Find yourself or a million bucks inside a Bentley on the way to a Chanel boutique?” Elly asked, getting her fork in my spaghetti aglio olio – one of the nasty habits of hers, getting into people’s plates. I was glad it probably happened to be her only flaw.

“The day when I am completely independent,” I replied. “Just remember this. The worst thing that can happen to you in life is you finding yourself dependent on someone.”

“If it’s your dad, it ain’t that bad, huh?” Elly sang and winked. “Oh, this is so yummy!”

“Trust me, whether it’s your dad or some random dude, it’s all the same – horrible.”

“I wouldn’t know. I ain’t got a father like that, or some man….,” Elly said and then added, rolling her eyes: “…unfortunately,” She always rolled her eyes whether the situation asked for it or not. It took me a while to get used to it, but initially it was super annoying. Well, I guess that was her other flaw, come to think. Well, as they say, nobody’s perfect.

“Unfortunately?! Maybe… you’re lucky. It’s not like you’re poor and starving to death.”

“Of course not. Not with mom and Rosa,” she always called her granny by her name – those were family ways. “In fact, I am quite content. Everything is pretty good. Knock on the wood,” she gently knocked on the wooden table top, “…but to be honest, I wouldn’t mind someone taking care of those little problems that we do have.”

“You’ve no idea what you’re saying. Imagine you get married to one of those idiots you hang out with….”

“Who?”

“What? Are you serious? Not even denying! You practically agreed they’re all idiots!”

“Of course, I am not stupid. I am a realist. Having said that, I place my confidence in my genetics, the children will take all the best from me, trust me on that one.”

“What if they don’t?”

“What if… what if my aunt had nuts? She’d be my uncle!”

“I see. You’re hopelessly lost to society.”

“Don’t exaggerate. What do you suggest? That I, with my looks and status, work as a manager at some cosmetic store?” Elly’s face winced at the idea.

“It doesn’t have to be this way. Even if you decided to work at a cosmetic store, with a brain like yours you could be as successful as Liliane Bettencourt or even Kylie!”

“Easy for you to talk about it, looking at the grey reality of this world from inside your black Mercedes, or about careers like Bettencourt, who if I’m not mistaken got it passed down to her from her father. Trust me babe, everything is much simpler than that – men rule this world, and thank God, half of them are still straight. And as you may already know, every head needs a neck.”

“Perhaps you’re right. but those fans of yours are nothing but sons of those heads. Thus, I can’t even begin to comprehend what body part they actually are. I seriously doubt you can be their neck though…”

“You’re so…. bad. You know what? You need to learn how to be honest in a nicer way. Or maybe even learn how to keep your mouth shut. Otherwise, it might be challenging for us to get you married.”

“I don’t want to get married. I’d rather be single than with some pathetic guys…. that kind that follows you everywhere.”

“Who are you talking about in concrete?”

“I don’t even know who to pick from all of them. They’re all the same. Honestly. Neither on the outside, nor inside – all shallow. The only solution they know to any problem is their dads.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to finally start appreciating yourself. For starters. And secondly, I want you to spread me the trouble of having to hang out with them, or join them for dinners. I can’t even find another word that would fit their description, other than idiots. I can’t even eat in front of them, they spoil my appetite.”

“That will keep you in shape. For free.”

“Do I look like I’m a free rider? If you noticed, I never even order anything when one of those idiots invites us to eat out. I’d rather pay for you…,” this time it was me who rolled my eyes and laugh, “…of course, if you don’t order Dom Perignon. If anything happens, all those guys won’t be able to eat at McDonalds without their dads, and you know it!”

“There’s a family behind each of them. That’s why I doubt there will ever be a need to work at a McDonalds. Trust me.”

“Even worse. It’s like you’re marrying an entire family!”

“That’s the way it’s always been. Read any classic novel.”

“I don’t know what books you’re talking about. Maybe, some perverted novels. I always read the other kind. But if you’re O.K. with that, go ahead, it’s your life. I have no right to judge. But remember you will have to bend over and get out of your way to please the whole family, find all their skeletons they hide in the closet, and wash their dirty laundry. Do you really need it?”

“You’re taking it too seriously. For real, you know what they say? Take yourself seriously, but life easy. Or was it the other way around?” Elly laughed.

“Nonsense.”

“Don’t worry…,” Elly said and placed her hand on top of mine. With a serious face, she added, “…some of them have very handsome dads.”

“You’ve got to be kidding!” My jaw dropped when I heard her say these words. With her index finger she touched my chin as if forcing me to close my mouth, wide open with surprise.

“Elly, I thought nothing will surprise me about you after that night at Mario’s

“I know, right? I am unpredictable. And you Eva, are really cute. Seriously. Don’t ever change. Chicks like you are hard to come by. And Eva, honestly, please forget that night.”

“Whatever. If you want to live with those idiots, be my guest. Don’t tell me then, I haven’t warned you.”

The car suddenly stopped, having pulled up in front of Elly’s building. Sasha turned on the hazard lights.

“Looks like you were wrong, Eva. There she is, smoking. Seems like she’s been waiting for a while – half way done with her pack of cigarette,” the driver said sarcastically.

“I can’t believe it!” Eva agreed with a surprise in her voice. “Something must have happened.”

“You said five minutes. I’ve been here for half an hour!” Elly seemed crushed, as she opened the door and got into the car. “Hello there, Sasha”, she snapped without even looking at the driver. Their hostility was mutual for what seemed to be no apparent reason.

“I was sure you’d take forever!” Having exchanged kisses, Eva looked at her friend in disbelieve. “You really didn’t put any makeup!”

“Look at you, all suspicious. What is it, don’t you trust your best friend?”

“Well, it’s just so not like you…”

“You won’t believe what just happened…,” Elly mumbled, frantically looking for something in her purse.

Elly wore jeans, a white wife beater t-shirt with no bra underneath. “Probably intentionally.,” Eva thought as she assessed her friend’s outfit that noticeable flattered her naturally beautiful breasts. She had a light-grey cardigan and boots same color. Her beautiful hair was let down and fell on her feminine shoulders. Elly possessed that kind of natural beauty that complemented and enhanced the clothing, and not the other way around.

“You won’t believe it.,” she went on. “But I have to prepare you for the news you’re about to hear!”

“What the hell happened?”