Passionately Ever After

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” he repeated and marched over to where she stood before the fireplace hearth. “You say you love me, then rip my heart out and throw it back in my face by running away, and all you have to say is that you’re sorry?”

She stared up at him out of sad brown eyes. “Believe me, Steven. Hurting you was…is the last thing I ever wanted to do.”

“Well, you did hurt me,” he fired back. Unable to stop himself, he reached for her. “I love you, Maria. And dammit, I know you love me. So why are you doing this to us? Tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it.”

“You can’t fix it,” she said and pulled away from him. Hugging her arms to herself, she turned her back to him and stared into the fire. “No one can fix it. No one.”

The tears in her voice ripped at him. “What is it, love? Tell me what’s wrong.”

When Maria shook her head, he turned her around to face him. Tipping up her chin, he stared into eyes bright with tears and secrets. A fist seemed to tighten itself around his heart as he studied her face. He’d always thought Maria beautiful—from the first moment he’d set eyes on her at Nicholas and Gail’s wedding. Yet there was something even more beautiful about her now, an inner glow much like the waitress at his family’s restaurant when she’d been—

Steven yanked his gaze from Maria’s and moved down the length of her body. Emotion churned inside him as he registered the subtle differences in her appearance and demeanor. He took in the shapeless red coat that swallowed her slender frame, noted the protective way Maria’s hands rested near her middle. In the blink of an eye, all the changes in her hit him like a sucker punch. “Take off your coat, Maria,” he commanded in a voice so controlled and cool, it sounded foreign even to him.

She stared at him, like a deer that had been caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, he thought. And he hated the fact that it was fear that he read in her eyes. “Steven—”

“Take off the coat, Maria,” he repeated and softening his voice, he added, “Please.”

With a patience that belied the blood racing like wild-fire through his veins, Steven watched as she slowly unbuttoned the red coat. When the last button had been loosened, she pulled off the coat and tossed it aside. She lifted her head, angled her gaze up to his and stared at him out of eyes bright with defiance.

Steven lowered his gaze and stared at her protruding stomach. Emotions pummeled through him at breakneck speed—anger, joy, hurt. When he lifted his gaze to meet hers again, he read the regret in her eyes. And it was that regret that sent a knife plunging straight through his heart.

“Tell me something, Maria,” he said, taking care to keep his voice soft while rage and pain warred inside him.

“What?”

“Were you even planning to tell me that I was going to be a father?”

Two

For a moment, Maria couldn’t speak. In the time she’d known Steven, she’d discovered a man with many layers. The smart, ambitious businessman who’d made his first million before he’d turned twenty-five. The kind and caring man who loved his family as fiercely as she loved her own. The passionate and tender lover to whom she’d given her virginity and her heart. But never once, not even when she’d refused to take their relationship public or to discuss his offer of marriage, had she seen Steven like this—in a white-hot fury made all the more chilling because he kept it so tightly leashed.

Anger emanated from every pore of his being. It was there in the tight lines around his mouth, in the ticking of the muscle in his right cheek, in the hard set of his jaw. Despite her sweater and the heat of the fire, Maria shivered beneath his icy blue glare. Not because she feared Steven would harm her physically. She didn’t. She knew he would sooner cut off his arm than hurt any woman. But the contempt she read in his eyes struck her like a blow.

“It’s a simple question, Maria. I’d appreciate an answer.”

Maria’s head swam. Squeezing her eyes shut, she wrapped her arms around herself and fought to steady herself, searched for the right words to explain.

“Look at me, Maria,” he commanded in a voice so soft she had to strain to hear it. “Were you even planning to tell me about the baby? Or did you think I didn’t deserve to know I was going to be a father?”

She snapped her eyes open and forced herself to meet his gaze. “Of course you deserved to know,” she told him. “And I was going to tell you.”

“When?” he demanded. “After the baby was born? What were you going to do? Send me a birth announcement and tack on a note saying ‘By the way, congratulations, you’re a daddy’?”

Maria wanted to cringe beneath the contempt in his voice, but she forced herself to face his anger. After all, she reasoned, he was entitled to be furious with her. She’d had months to get used to the idea of becoming a parent while Steven…Steven had been blindsided by the news because she’d kept silent. “No. I was going to tell you before the baby was born. I swear I was,” she said, hoping he believed her. “I never intended to keep it from you, Steven. I’ve been wanting to tell you for months now—almost from the moment I found out that I was pregnant.”

“Then why didn’t you?” he asked, anguish in his voice, in his eyes. “Dammit, Maria! How could you lay in my arms, make love with me and tell me that you love me, and then keep something like this a secret?”

Maria ached for him. She ached for herself and for all the pain they had both suffered during the past few months. Lifting her hand, she touched his cheek. “I didn’t want to keep it a secret. I wanted to tell you. I just didn’t know how.”

Some of the fierceness in his expression eased at her words. He turned his mouth into her palm and kissed it. At the gentle touch of his lips, Maria’s heart swelled with love for him. Oh, how she loved him, she thought. She stared at his handsome face—the sharp angles of his jaw, the proud chin, the sweep of dark lashes that covered his too-serious blue eyes. In the firelight, his black hair gleamed like polished onyx and she had to quell the urge to brush back that errant strand that always fell across his forehead. Instead she somehow found her voice and said, “I’m sorry. I never meant for you to find out about the baby this way. I had hoped…I had planned—”

“Shh. It doesn’t matter now,” he said and reached for her other hand. His eyes never left hers as he brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them again. “All that matters is that we’re together now, and that we’re going to have a baby. A baby,” he repeated, his voice filled with awe. “I still can’t believe it. We’re actually going to have a baby.”

“Steven—”

He silenced her with a kiss. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been going through these past months? All the things that went through my head when you left that note and disappeared. I was so angry with your family. I was sure that they had found out about us and forced you to go away.”

“No, they didn’t,” she began. “It wasn’t them. It was me. It was all my idea.”

“Yeah. I figured that out after talking to Karen last week. But there was a part of me that didn’t want to believe you could do that—just up and leave me the way you did, not after what we’d shared.”

Guilt tugged at her. “It wasn’t easy. I…I didn’t know what else to do. I thought if I could get away, that if I had some time alone to think…”

“That’s what Karen said. But it didn’t stop me from worrying that maybe you’d had second thoughts about us, that you’d begun to believe the things your family had been saying about the Contis sabotaging Baronessa Gelati. I thought…I was afraid that you hated me. That you’d regretted what we’d shared.” He swallowed and continued, “I was afraid that you’d regretted loving me.”

“No,” she told him honestly, and unable to stop herself, she brought her palm to his cheek. When he once again turned his face and kissed her palm, she didn’t withdraw. Regret loving him? No, she thought. It would have been easier for her to not take her next breath than to ever regret falling in love with him. Growing up with both her grandparents and parents as examples of what real love was all about, she knew what she felt for Steven was real. In fact, she doubted that she’d even had a choice when it came to loving him. She simply did—had almost from the moment they’d first met. And while she regretted the problems and the heartache their love would cause their families, she couldn’t ever regret the love they’d found with each other. How could she when the child growing inside was a result of that love? Their baby was a beautiful miracle, a gift she would always cherish, just as she would always cherish having been loved by Steven. “I’ve never regretted loving you. Never. Not even for a minute.”

“Thank God,” he said, and as though her reply had opened some floodgate of emotion inside him, he pulled her into his arms.

After so many months without him, Maria reveled in the feel of Steven’s arms around her again. This time when he lowered his head to kiss her, she made no attempt to deny him or herself.

His mouth closed over her own. Steven kissed her—tenderly, passionately, hungrily. When his tongue tested the seam of her lips, Maria didn’t hesitate. She opened to him. Tongues explored, danced, mated. He kissed her and kissed her, each thrust of his tongue fueling the need for more. By the time he tore his mouth free and groaned, Maria felt dazed. Awash in emotion and sensations, she clutched at his shoulders, fearful her knees would buckle at any moment. Then his clever, oh-so-clever mouth began to kiss the shell of her ear. Tiny, nibbling kisses that made her heart race and her blood heat. When he nipped the lobe of her ear, Maria sucked in a breath.

It was a mistake, she realized as she breathed in his familiar scent. Suddenly her senses were flooded with the smell of him. He smelled of soap and fresh snow and the forest. And Maria couldn’t help but think of how many times during the past few months those scents had triggered memories of him, had made her ache to be in his arms again like this.

When Steven began planting a string of kisses along her jawline, Maria knew she was playing a dangerous game. She wanted Steven desperately, loved him just as fiercely. Yet there could be no future for them. She knew it, had known it almost from the start. Not even the baby growing inside her could change the impossibility of them sharing a life together. To allow Steven to continue would only make him believe otherwise. And to do so would be wrong, she reasoned. “Steven,” she began, knowing she had to tell him to stop.

But then he kissed her neck and the protest died on her lips. Tipping her head back, she gave him the access he sought. As he kissed her throat, the hint of whiskers along his jaw felt like fine sandpaper brushing against her softer skin. The sensation was erotic, seductive. When Steven flicked his tongue across her sensitized flesh, Maria nearly whimpered. She curled her fingers into his sweater, marveled at the feel of hard muscle and sinew beneath the soft cashmere.

“So sweet, so incredibly sweet,” he murmured, his breath a warm rush against her fevered skin. Her heart pounded so wildly in her chest, Maria feared it would burst at any second.

When Steven nudged aside the V-neckline of her sweater and shirt to kiss her collarbone, her breath hitched. Sliding her fingers through his hair, she pulled his head up and brought his mouth back to her own.

This time when their lips met, it was Maria who groaned as he nipped at her lower lip and took control of the kiss. Maria’s head swam beneath the onslaught of his mouth and tongue, the feel of his hands sliding down her back, over her hips. When he cupped her bottom and lifted her, pressed her against his arousal, Maria trembled.

“God, Maria, I’ve missed you so much,” he said as he continued to pepper her face with kisses.

“And I’ve missed you,” she admitted, lost in the feel of his mouth and hands on her after so long without him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the baby…that I ran away like I did….”

“I told you, it doesn’t matter,” he said, cutting off her apology with another earth-shattering kiss.

When he lifted his head, Maria could have sworn the world had tilted beneath her feet. In an effort to steady herself, she looped her arms around his neck and only then did she realize that Steven was carrying her toward the couch.

Gently he placed her atop the cushions and sat beside her. She’d barely had time to register what had happened when he cupped her face in his hands. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and said, “The only thing that matters is that we’re together now. I swear, I won’t let anything ever keep us apart again.”

His words were like a dash of cold water, instantly sobering Maria. “Steven,” she began.