Play It Again, Sahm

Me? You started it!

Instant Message

Huck: True. This better?

Dulcet: No! I can’t IM. I have to work!

Huck: Chill, sweetheart. It’ll be okay.

Dulcet: No, it won’t. How would you like this little entrepreneurial endeavor of Homemaker Interiors to fail before it’s even two months old? Right now, the Kerricks are my ONLY clients.

Huck: You’re not going to fail.

Dulcet: If they bail on me because their marriage breaks up, we’re not going to make the house payment next month.

Huck: They won’t bail.

Dulcet: From your lips to God’s ears.

Huck: And don’t worry about the house payment. That’s what our year’s worth of savings is for.

Dulcet: Yeah, but I don’t want to use it! It takes at least three years to get a business going. And about half that money is from our parents. Even though

Huck: Yes, it’s called an “investment.”

Dulcet: it’s a gift…yeah, or “investment,” I still don’t want to use it until absolutely necessary.

Huck: I know. But it will be okay.

Dulcet: Thanks for the vote of confidence. I just know how much is riding on me succeeding with this. It’s really scary sometimes.

Huck: Don’t put so much pressure on yourself—it’s not just you. We’re in this together, remember? And WHY are we having this conversation via IM when we are sitting in the same room?

Dulcet: YOU STARTED IT!!! And anyway, I have to get back to work. Somebody has to earn money in this family, mister.

Huck: Hey, you can’t be so high and mighty with me, Ms. Self-Employed Business Woman. Dulcet: Why not?

Huck: Because I’ve seen you wake up, and it’s impossible to be a snob to someone who snuggled you first thing this morning.

Dulcet: Snuggled? Is that what you’re calling it now?

Huck: Is that inaccurate?

Dulcet: I am WORKING! I am professional and very busy!!!

Huck: You’re blushing…it’s so cute.

Dulcet: I cannot IM you about stuff like that right now or else the Kerricks’ master suite WILL end up looking like a bordello! Don’t you have some preschool disaster to clean up or something?

Huck: I love you, Dulcie.

Dulcet: I love you, too. Now go away.

Dulcet: And stop laughing at me!

Huck signed off at 3:48:23 p.m.

Dulcet signed off at 3:48:35 p.m.

Okay, I’ll play. I just got home from my twins’ ten month checkup. Tess is doing great. But we’re worried about Patrick. He is just now sitting up without support, but he can’t get himself there on his own yet. And the doctor says he should be able to pull into a standing position!

Tess is such a go-getter, but Patrick doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t try to reach for toys, and he hardly ever makes a sound. He’s a lot smaller than Tess, too. At first, I thought he’s just a really laid-back kid, but now I’m afraid he’s actually behind. Lots of studies talk about how in vitro fertilization babies are at higher risk for developmental delays, and my two were from a frozen embryo adoption, too! What if all the antiembryo adoption people are right, and it’s our fault that Patrick is delayed? They all say that frozen embryos are weaker and more prone to developing birth defects.

The pediatrician said we need to look for hidden ear infections. But I’m worried it might be worse than that. We love Patrick, but if there’s something wrong with him, Darren will be devastated. He’s under a lot of pressure to do the whole “have a son to take over the farm” thing with his family. What if Patrick can’t do that?

And yeah, I got the guilt thing going on, too. It shouldn’t matter if there’s anything wrong with Patrick or not. We will still love him anyway. We shouldn’t be disappointed or put expectations on our kids. I know. And I feel bad because I’m doing it anyway.

How’s that for total honesty?

Brenna

Brenna, thanks for being so honest. I don’t want to make light of your worries, but I used to also worry a lot about Helene. She’s always been so obstinate and headstrong— I thought maybe she had some psychopathic disorder. But she’s just strong willed. And now that she’s three and a half, she’s getting better. My slowly stiffening backbone about being firm with her is helping a lot, too.

I guess I’m trying to say that ten months old is a little early to be too worried about developmental stuff. Kids grow at different rates. Your pediatrician wasn’t too worried, right?

I’ve got “boy troubles”, too—of a different sort—with little Neil, who is now just over two years old. Actually, it’s not him so much as it is me. Me and my lifelong inability to stand up to anybody or deal with disapproval or conflict. I’ve gotten so much more confident about being firm with Helene that I thought it wouldn’t be a problem with Neil, either. And it’s not…well, not directly.

I know I’m not making much sense, but I don’t have the energy to explain it right now. I definitely don’t want to get into it on the loop quite yet. That’s my honest confession. I still have a lot of clashes with Helene. Sometimes I just can’t deal with any more conflicts, and this thing with Neil will definitely create a controversy there.

Anyway, try not to stress about Patrick. He’s probably just fine.

Love,

Marianne

Okay, everyone, here’s my deep, dark confession. I haven’t told ANYBODY on the loop this yet…

About a month ago, my husband, Shane, got a huge promotion—to VP of the web design firm he works for. Came with a big raise, and we’re all really happy about it. But here’s the kicker— Shane and I had a long discussion. Seems he’s STILL not satisfied about my ability to say “no” to doing stuff. I mean, it’s a lot better than it was a couple of years ago. We’re still homeschooling, and with four kids—one of whom is now a teenager—there’s bound to be a lot of activities. We only let the kids pick three extra things per week to be involved in. So it’s only twelve total! But I’m not directing the church Christmas production, or teaching the marriage classes, or coordinating the home school co-op classes. I still lead a women’s Bible study group, but that’s ministry so it doesn’t count!

I tried to explain all this to Shane. He says that since I am pathologically unable to maintain anything resembling a sane schedule that his only alternative is to…

HIRE EXTRA HELP!

That’s right—he forced me to hire a housekeeping service! And he’s making me allow a teen home school student come over to be a “mommy’s helper.” As if I need help or something! Can you believe it?

So now, I have to go away once a week and when I come home, the Happy Housekeepers have been all over my home—straightening, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathrooms. Yes, they CLEAN my bathrooms! It’s so embarrassing.

And Tasha, the homeschooler, comes twice a week to tutor and watch Evelyn and Audra so I can take Cassia to dance lessons and Tyler to home school band. (He’s playing the saxophone—isn’t that terrific?)