Lovely Wild

Rob nudged Sammy. “Sammy loves...who?”

Under Kendra’s fingers, the planchette jerked toward the letter L. She took her fingers off it immediately. Sammy stared at her. Rob, teasing, snatched up the planchette and settled it back into the center of the board.

“C’mon, let’s ask it something really freaky,” he said. When nobody answered him, he looked up. “What? C’mon!”

“I’m going to go home.” Kendra stood. The room spun a little, which wasn’t fair since she hadn’t even had a sip of booze. She stared down at Sammy, her best friend.

Sammy was slowly turning green. She got unsteadily to her feet and headed for the small powder room off the rec room. “I’m going to puke.”

“Can’t handle her alcohol,” Rob said with a shake of his head. “Lightweight.”

Kendra looked at Logan. They’d been friends since fourth grade, when Miss Beatrice had made them work together on the project about El Salvador. In sixth grade he’d been with her when her sled went out of control in the park and she hit a tree. Logan had been the one to walk her home. In eighth grade, they’d gone to their first formal together, as friends, but he’d bought her a corsage and she’d bought him a boutonniere, and his mother had taken pictures. Hers had forgotten the camera. Kendra still had one of the pictures in her top drawer, under her socks. She’d been looking at it a lot more, lately.

“I’m going home,” she said and didn’t wait another second for anyone to try to stop her.

Not that any of them did. Sammy was busy yakking, Rob was raiding the liquor cabinet again. And Logan...Logan didn’t like her in that way.

Her phone buzzed from her pocket as soon as she got out the front door. It was Sammy. Kendra swiped to read it, though she wanted to ignore it.

Don’t be mad

Kendra typed as she walked. When?

Last year. When you were at camp. But he really likes you. I swear to God!

So Logan was the guy Sammy had almost gone all the way with, not some stranger she’d met at the beach like she’d said. It made sense. Kendra could hardly be mad, in a way, since it wasn’t as if she and Logan had a thing going on. She understood why Sammy would’ve wanted to get with him, and why she hadn’t told Kendra about it.

But she didn’t understand why Sammy would’ve lied about Logan liking Kendra.

She didn’t answer the text, her stomach sick and churning, her throat tight and hot. Her face felt stretched. Like if she blinked too hard it would crack and fall off. A mask.

“Hey, Kiki. I thought you were staying over at Sammy’s.” Mom appeared in the kitchen doorway as Kendra put her foot to the stairs. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kendra started to say, but the words got lost in a sudden uprush of tears.

Her mom’s hand squeezed her shoulder, guiding Kendra to the dining room table. “Sit.”

Kendra sat. Mom sat next to her, saying nothing. Waiting while Kendra sobbed, handing her a napkin when the snot ran too freely. When Ethan wandered in, Mom murmured for him to go away and leave them alone, though he did pause to give Kendra a bewildered look first. When the tears tapered off, Kendra blew her nose and waited for her mom to ask her what had happened.

Instead, her mom got up and disappeared for a moment, returning with a crinkling package she opened. She handed Kendra a pack of chocolate snack cakes from her secret stash without a word. Kendra stared at it for a moment, then took a bite. It wasn’t very good, but she ate it, anyway.

Her mom at last said quietly, “Do you want to talk about it?”

That was the last thing Kendra wanted to do, yet she opened her mouth and spilled out her guts, anyway. “...And I know she says he likes me, Mom, but he doesn’t. Not like that. He must like Sammy.”

“Why? Because he fooled around with her?”

“Well. Yeah.” Kendra swiped at her face.

Mom laughed softly. “Kiki...I know you don’t need me to tell you that boys will take chances when they get them. It doesn’t mean they love the girl they take them with. Or even like her all that much, sometimes. And even if he did, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t also like you.”

“She’s my friend,” Kendra said miserably.

“He’s your friend, too. Both of them have been for a long time.”

Kendra looked at her mother. “Is that supposed to make it better?”

“I don’t know. Does it make it worse?”

“No.” Kendra took a deep breath, considering what her mom had said. “Not worse. But not better.”

“Maybe it won’t get better,” her mom said, “for a while.”

They sat in silence for a minute or so. Kendra’s mom took her hand, squeezing the fingers. Kendra squeezed back.

“Did you ever like a boy who didn’t like you back?” Kendra asked.

Her mom coughed a little. “Umm...no.”

“Because you were pretty,” Kendra said sourly, looking at her mom’s thick dark hair and vivid blue eyes. In her wedding picture, she looked like a movie star. Kendra’s own hair had been blond and curly as a kid, but now it was just straight and plain and sort of brown.

Her mother looked surprised, eyes wide, mouth dropping. “Pretty, me? No. Oh, Kiki.”

“Ugh, Mom, you were so pretty.” Kendra scowled.

“Not when I was younger.”

“When you married Daddy you were pretty,” Kendra said.

Her mom nodded after a moment. “I guess so. He thought so, anyway. And your dad’s the only boyfriend I ever had.”

Kendra wasn’t surprised. She’d known this, even though knowing it and really believing it weren’t the same thing. “Really?”

Her mom looked uncomfortable, which made Kendra wish she hadn’t asked. “Yes. Really.”

“Wow,” Kendra said when the silence between them grew too big. “That’s...”

“It’s what it is,” her mom said firmly and stood, clapping her hands together. “Dinner is almost ready. Let’s set the table. And after dinner, I need to run to the mall. We can look at those sneakers you wanted.”

It felt a little bit like bribery, but if so, Kendra didn’t mind. It was what some parents did when their kids felt bad about something. Bought them stuff. It was what some of them did to distract their kids from asking questions, too. Whatever her mom’s reasons, a new pair of shoes couldn’t take away the sting of realizing Sammy and Logan had been together.

But it helped.

TEN (#ulink_7d26fced-6612-541d-a43f-0ed65c3971c6)

THE FIRST DAYS of summer vacation are the best. The kids haven’t had time to get bored, they still have their annual trip to the beach to look forward to and sleeping in is still a luxury and not yet a habit that will need to be broken when school starts again. It’s only been a week, though, and they haven’t yet settled into any routine. Now Mari’s not sure they will.

Because this year, Ryan’s home.