Up Close and Personal

“No,” she had to admit.

“Aren’t you going to ask where I’m going?”

“No again,” she told him, though she was dying to know. Was he off to protect someone else? Putting himself in danger again? Or just rushing to get away from her again?

“I’ll tell you anyway. I’m off to the training grounds where our newest guards are taking their final tests.”

He had told her about the bodyguard training all of his employees had to take and pass before coming to work for him. She knew it was out in the desert somewhere, though he had kept the exact location a secret. Security reasons, he had told her, and she remembered being hurt that he didn’t trust her enough to be specific.

Seemed he still didn’t.

Laura glanced out the window to the busy street beyond, wishing someone—anyone—would come inside desperate to find a house. She couldn’t count on Georgia showing up, because she was at the post office with a stack of packages to mail and that could take either minutes or hours, depending.

Taking a breath, Laura resigned herself to being alone with Ronan no matter how hard it was. All she had to do was not think about that kiss. Better that she remember that he had walked away from her once already.

“So why are you telling me this?” she asked, deliberately keeping a distance from him.

“To give you a chance to miss me, of course.”

She blinked at him. “What?”

Ronan smiled easily and leaned against the corner of her desk. Crossing his arms in front of him, he looked her up and down and then met her eyes again. “I want you to think of me while I’m gone.”

“Why would I do that?” she demanded, though a part of her knew she would be doing just what he wanted her to. The real question was why he wanted her to. “You were gone for six weeks, and I didn’t miss you.”

“Liar.” His eyes flashed knowingly.

“I didn’t miss you before, and I won’t now, either,” she said and hoped she sounded more sure than she felt. “Why would I? You’re the one who broke things off between us, Ronan.”

“Aye, I did at that, and I’m thinking perhaps that was a mistake …”

“Wow,” she muttered, trying to cover the flutter of nerves, “admitting to flaws and a mistake all in the same conversation. Maybe you should see a doctor.”

He laughed. “What is it, I wonder, about that sharp tongue of yours intrigues me so?”

“I don’t want you intrigued, Ronan,” she told him and tried to ease past him to head for the file cabinet on the far wall.

She didn’t make it. He stopped her with one hand on her arm and the heat of his touch sizzled against her skin.

“Don’t you?” he asked, leaning toward her.

“No,” she answered, her gaze on his mouth as it came closer and closer— “No.”

She said it louder this time, and he stopped in response. Narrowing his eyes on her, he cocked his head to one side to study her. “You’d deny us both the kiss we each want?”

“Yes.” When he moved in again, she scuttled back. “I meant yes, I would deny us both.”

He blew out a breath and straightened up and away from the desk. His blue eyes were cool, his tone brisk as he said, “Fine then. I’ll not push you on this.”

“Good.”

“For now.”

Sunlight streamed through the front window, backlighting Ronan until he looked as if he’d been gilded by angels. Just that thought was enough to make her laugh silently. There was nothing angelic about Ronan Connolly. The man was temptation. He was warm when he chose to be and cold enough to freeze you solid if he thought you were getting too close.

Laura had already lived through that once. She had thought she could be the kind of woman to have a red-hot affair and not think of tomorrow. She’d learned fast—though not fast enough—that she wasn’t.

She’d lost her heart to him once. And she’d lost a child. She wasn’t prepared to lose more. Those thoughts steeled her spine and had her lifting her chin. “I’m not interested, Ronan.”

“Another lie,” he said, mouth quirking into a half smile.

“Fine,” she snapped, crossing to the file cabinet and blindly yanking open one of the metal drawers. She pulled out a manila folder, not caring which one it was. This was to prove to him she was too busy to play his games. “It’s ridiculous to try to pretend that you’re not … attractive.”

He snorted.

“But,” she said pointedly, “I’m not going down that road again. Heck, you’re the one who wanted to get off the road.”

“Will you forever be throwing that back at me?” he wondered aloud.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Carrying the folder to her desk, she scooted past him, then took a stand, figuratively and literally. “We were together three months and you ended it two months ago. Time to move on, don’t you think?”

He looked at her again and the flat, steady stare he sent her way had Laura thinking that he was looking into her heart, her mind.

“What I think,” he said, “is there’s more going on here than you’ll say.”

“If there is, it’s my business,” she retorted and dropped the file to her desktop.

“That’s where you’re wrong.” He planted both hands on her desk and leaned in until they were eye to eye. “If you wanted me gone from your life so neatly, Laura Page, you should’ve returned Beast to me. But you didn’t and that tells me you want me bothered. Troubled. And I have to ask myself why.

“So we’ll not be finished until I’ve got my answers.”

Damn it.

“You can end this today by telling me what it is you’re hiding,” he told her, lifting one hand to push her hair back behind her ear.

She flinched from his touch, and he frowned. He hadn’t liked that, but Laura couldn’t let him touch her because every time he did, it weakened her resistance to him.

“Tell me,” he whispered, all hint of a smile gone from his face. “Tell me why I see sadness as well as passion in your eyes when you look at me. Tell me why you took Beast and held him hostage. Tell me—”

She shook her head and held up one hand in an effort to stop him. “I don’t have to tell you anything, Ronan.”

“You don’t, but you will.”

“Because you say so? I don’t think so.”

“No,” he countered, coming around her desk to stand beside her. “Because it’s eating you up inside to not tell me. It’s on the tip of your tongue at all times, but you keep biting it back. So let it out, Laura. If you truly want me gone from your life, then tell me.”

Well, that was part of the problem, wasn’t it? If she told him, she’d have the satisfaction of seeing shock jolt into his eyes, but then he’d be gone, wouldn’t he? Really gone, and she didn’t know if she was as ready for that as she claimed to be. But it was more than just that. Sharing her secrets would open herself up to the pain of talking about her loss. And she wasn’t willing to do that.