Cole leaned an arm up high on the doorjamb and cocked a hip. The man sure knew how to look attractive, but his charms didn’t work on her when he was suggesting something so outrageous.
“Maria was good,” he said, as though making a big concession. “She’s a nice lady, but—”
He chewed on his lower lip, his frustration evident along with his exhaustion.
“But?” Honey prompted.
“Madeline won’t let her touch her.”
Ah. “So I’m deemed adequate because I could get her to let me wipe her hands clean?”
“She lets you hold her.”
“True, but that’s just because of my hair. You said that reminds her of her mother.”
Silent for so long Honey thought he wouldn’t answer, Cole finally responded with emotion thickening his voice. “It was the kiss.”
“Oh.” Honey considered that. “But why is that so important?”
“She let you wipe her hands and hold her, but she asked for the kiss.”
“Okay, so?” Honey’s frustration edged into her voice.
“So, not one single woman has been able to touch her except you. Not her grandmother or women who were friends with my sister and who Madeline knew well. Since the accident and all during the funeral, she wouldn’t let any other women hold her.”
Cole held her gaze, as though to get her to agree with him by sheer force of will. “She didn’t let you kiss her,” he repeated. “She asked for it.”
She pointed toward the floor, indicating the bar downstairs. “What about my business?”
“I don’t know, Honey. I guess my concern is the child. It’s a huge thing to ask, but it’s not for me. Madeline responded to you. It’s for the children. Both of them. Evan doesn’t show it, but he needs affection, too.”
Honey was drawn to little girls, but she had noticed Evan’s longing and made a note to give him more attention.
“I don’t know what to do with them, Honey.”
All his grief, all the weight of his dilemma and burden ravaged his face.
“Were you close to your sister?”
“She was my salvation.”
Salvation. Strong word. “What do you mean?”
His gaze slid away from her to the fist he pounded gently against the doorjamb. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
She’d never heard a whisper about his past. Cole had a right to his privacy. She wouldn’t push it, but salvation signified huge feelings.
She could feel his pain, but she couldn’t see how she could take care of the children and still run the bar.
“Okay, listen, this is what we’ll do. Tomorrow you’ll have to interview more nannies until you find one. I can’t be it, Cole.”
In his expression disappointment transmuted into acceptance. He exhaled roughly. “Will you take care of them while I talk to more people?”
“I can’t. We have Rib Fest in front of the bar through lunch.”
Cole groaned. “I forgot about that. Do you have to do it?”
“It’s a fund-raiser for the revival of the fair and rodeo. I have a ton of ribs marinating downstairs. Chet’s coming in this evening to boil them.”
He knocked his fist against the doorjamb again. She could see his mind working.
“No.” She preempted him. “I will not leave Chet to take care of it alone. He’ll be cooking all morning and serving for two hours over lunch. We presold hundreds of tickets. It’s our biggest fund-raiser yet.”
He opened his mouth, closed it.
“You’re being unreasonable in your need and shock, Cole. Don’t ask me to cancel or abandon Chet.”
He hung his head. “You’re right, of course.”
“I can enlist my friends to help with them. While that’s happening, you interview more women to find someone who’s just right.”
“What if no one else can get through to Madeline? So far, it’s only you, Honey.”
“Don’t use guilt on me, Cole. I don’t appreciate it. I’ll spend as much spare time as I can with Madeline, but you have to find someone who can care for the children full-time. Okay?”
Cole nodded, but she wasn’t at all certain she’d gotten through to him.
“I mean it, Cole. I expect you to put in your best effort to find someone else.”
“I will,” he promised, and she believed him.
A tiny head peered around Cole’s legs—Madeline, her blue eyes a miniature version of her uncle’s, but large in her tiny face. Every bit as haunted as his, they softened Honey’s defenses, and that would not do.
She couldn’t offer everything Cole needed, but she would give as much as she could.
Madeline stared at the bed, took one step forward, changed her mind and retreated to hide against Cole’s leg.
“You want to get up on it?” Cole asked.
The tiny head, face pressed against Cole’s knee, nodded.
The girl approached and touched the lace on Honey’s pillowcase.
* * *
COLE STEPPED FORWARD and lifted Madeline up onto all of Honey’s lace. A photo on the bedside table caught his eye.
Daniel, with the devil in his bright eyes and a cheeky grin. Still in her bedroom. Still in her heart?