No Ordinary Home

“You would. Naw. Let’s find a movie.”

They settled on The Bourne Identity. “This movie’s great,” Austin said.

“Macho spy thriller full of action. No wonder you like it.”

“Matt Damon looking pretty buff. No wonder you like it.”

“He’s okay.” She tried to sound nonchalant while her eyes were glued to the set. Buff understated it. He didn’t hold a candle to Austin, though.

She never saw the end of the movie, just quietly slipped under the covers when sleep claimed her. She thought she felt someone pull the covers over her shoulders.

CHAPTER FOUR (#ulink_1a5851ca-c0b0-591e-8a7b-aaebcde47e55)

THE HEAT AGAINST his chest and belly burned with a flame Austin hadn’t felt in too long. His thumb stroked skin as velvety as the leaves of the geraniums he’d planted in pots in the spring, for his mother. Not that she’d noticed.

The woman in his arms smelled of coconut and exotic flowers.

His lips found her neck, her tiny mewls of pleasure a waterfall of delight.

He came awake slowly, the dream too good to give up, his hands caressing and exploring soft skin. She curled against him as though she could burrow inside of him. Whomever he’d slept with last night sure was affectionate.

Slept with!

His eyes flew open.

Gracie lay nestled against him as sweetly as a puppy against its mother. There was nothing sexual in the way her fingers curled around his arm, or the way her forehead lay in the curve of his neck, but it was morning, he was male, and she female. His first thoughts had been sexual.

If she knew, she would hate him for it. He knew she didn’t want him to think of her as vulnerable, but he did. She was. What would she think of him if she knew he wanted her?

He shouldn’t have made that nasty remark yesterday about her being too thin, but he’d been sick of her accusing him of being interested in only one thing and he’d snapped. What would she think if she woke up now and noticed that his body sure didn’t mind her being so thin?

Before she could feel the effect she had on him, he eased out of bed. Like a trusting puppy, she followed him, murmuring in her sleep, her hand caressing his arm. He found the gesture poignant and sweet, his thoughts changing, no longer sexual, but tender. He should move, get away from her, but he liked this natural, honest woman with her prickly defenses down.

The pillows he’d used to separate them had been tossed to the floor sometime during the night. He was pretty sure it hadn’t been by him.

She didn’t stir. He glanced at the clock. Seven.

The sun shimmering through the sheer curtains lit her face with a soft glow. Her hair, clean now and blue-black in morning sunlight, framed high cheekbones, a sharp chin and a stubborn jawline. Those fierce raven’s-wing eyebrows were less intimidating in sleep.

Her cheeks glowed pink against alabaster skin.

She cleaned up well.

Looking younger and not as hard-edged as she had yesterday, was this the real Gracie? Or was yesterday’s tough woman the real one?

He didn’t know. She had secrets. That much he could tell. She could keep them. He hardened his heart against the tenderness of a few moments ago. He didn’t need to carry anyone else’s burdens.

He grabbed a clean T-shirt and underwear, and yesterday’s jeans, and went to the bathroom to shower and get dressed. No sense having her wake up and catching him semi-aroused. She would stop trusting him.

So what? After breakfast, he would never see her again. He and Finn would be on their way to fish until they were sick of it.

* * *

GRACIE LAY STILL until she heard the bathroom door close and the shower turn on. Then she exhaled the breath she’d been holding since she’d rolled over and tried to follow the warmth of arms that had let her go too soon.

When her mind had registered where she was, who she was with and what she was doing, she had lain still with her eyes closed. Awkward.

Austin had rocketed out of the bed, probably propelled by her trying to cuddle with him, and most likely disgusted by her skinny body.

Tough.

People got thin when they didn’t have enough to eat.

She rubbed her arms. The room wasn’t cold, but she wanted him and his heat back anyway.

Those few moments before she had realized she was in the arms of a man she shouldn’t be with had been glorious.

It had been too long.

Which one of them breached the barrier Austin constructed yesterday evening? Probably her. A cuddler by nature, she missed it more than anything else, maybe even more than regular meals.

Jay had been good at cuddling. That was about the only positive memory she had of him, and about the only compliment she could give him. It had taken her four years to discover just how big a mistake she’d made when she married him. She hadn’t known him at all. Since the divorce, she hadn’t looked back.

She missed his hugs, though. Any human contact, in fact. Sensory deprivation was a tough thing.

She wanted to touch people. She’d had too little of it in her past life. Maybe that’s why she’d been drawn to Jay, and willing to overlook his flaws for too long, because he’d offered a warm pair of arms and a solid chest to cuddle against. Not to mention she’d been young and naive enough to believe his lies.

She crawled out of bed. She didn’t want to. It was the first clean bed she’d slept in in a long time. The first real bed, clean or otherwise. Her pillowcase smelled like a tropical island from her hair.

She pulled on her pants, so Austin wouldn’t see how skinny her legs had gotten. She used to have shapely legs. They were strong from all the walking, but too thin, pared to the bone by the miles she’d traveled.

When Austin stepped out of the bathroom in jeans and a snug-fitting white T-shirt, he looked good enough to have her consider climbing back into bed with him, and that was a shocker. She hadn’t been attracted to a man since Jay.

In fact, she’d thought her libido had died with news of his infidelities. Yes, plural. Devastating.

Boy, had she been wrong. Apparently, her libido had only been dormant and waiting for the right man to bring it raging back to life.

A drop of water fell from Austin’s damp hair and landed on his neck.

If she knew him well, if they were a couple, she would walk right over and lick it off and who knew where that might lead.

In those first few months, when Jay had still been wooing her, she’d adored the love play, the giggling, the sex.

Yes, sex. She missed it. Six years was a long time to go without.

Stop. Austin isn’t for you. No man is. Stop thinking about love games and desire. You can’t have them.

No sense getting maudlin and wishing for things that couldn’t be hers. Time to screw on her head right, to put the practical ahead of the whimsical.