The Lower Depths

PEPEL. When people sing well I like it —

LUKA. In other words – I don’t sing well?

PEPEL. Evidently!

LUKA. Well, well – and I thought I sang well. That’s always the way: a man imagines there’s one thing he can do well, and suddenly he finds out that other people don’t think so.

PEPEL [laughs] That’s right.

BUBNOFF. First you say you feel dreary – and then you laugh!

PEPEL. None of your business, raven!

LUKA. Who do they say feels dreary?

PEPEL. I do.

[The Baron enters.]

LUKA. Well, well – out there in the kitchen there’s a girl reading and crying! That’s so! Her eyes are wet with tears.. I say to her: “What’s the matter, darling?” And she says: “It’s so sad!” “What’s so sad?” say I. “The book!” says she. – And that’s how people spend their time. Just because they’re bored.

THE BARON. She’s a fool!

PEPEL. Have you had tea, Baron?

THE BARON. Yes. Go on!

PEPEL. Well – want me to open a bottle?

THE BARON. Of course. Go on!

PEPEL. Drop on all fours, and bark like a dog!

THE BARON. Fool! What’s the matter with you? Are you drunk?

PEPEL. Go on – bark a little! It’ll amuse me. You’re an aristocrat. You didn’t even consider us human formerly, did you?

THE BARON. Go on!

PEPEL. Well – and now I am making you bark like a dog – and you will bark, won’t you?

THE BARON. All right. I will. You jackass! What pleasure can you derive from it since I myself know that I have sunk almost lower than you. You should have made me drop on all fours in the days when I was still above you.

BUBNOFF. That’s right.

LUKA. I say so, too!

BUBNOFF. What’s over, is over. Remain only trivialities. We know no class distinctions here. We’ve shed all pride and self-respect. Blood and bone – man – just plain man – that’s what we are!

LUKA. In other words, we’re all equal.. and you, friend, were you really a Baron?

THE BARON. Who are you? A ghost?

LUKA [laughing] I’ve seen counts and princes in my day – this is the first time I meet a baron – and one who’s decaying – at that!

PEPEL [laughing] Baron, I blush for you!

THE BARON. It’s time you knew better, Vassily.

LUKA. Hey-hey – I look at you, brothers – the life you’re leading.

BUBNOFF. Such a life! As soon as the sun rises, our voices rise, too – in quarrels!

THE BARON. We’ve all seen better days – yes! I used to wake up in the morning and drink my coffee in bed – coffee – with cream! Yes —

LUKA. And yet we’re all human beings. Pretend all you want to, put on all the airs you wish, but man you were born, and man you must die. And as I watch I see that the wiser people get, the busier they get – and though from bad to worse, they still strive to improve – stubbornly —

THE BARON. Who are you, old fellow? Where do you come from?

LUKA. I?

THE BARON. Are you a tramp?

LUKA. We’re all of us tramps – why – I’ve heard said that the very earth we walk on is nothing but a tramp in the universe.

THE BARON [severely] Perhaps. But have you a passport?

LUKA [after a short pause] And what are you – a police inspector?

PEPEL [delighted] You scored, old fellow! Well, Barosha, you got it this time!

BUBNOFF. Yes – our little aristocrat got his!

THE BARON [embarrassed] What’s the matter? I was only joking, old man. Why, brother, I haven’t a passport, either.

BUBNOFF. You lie!

THE BARON. Oh – well – I have some sort of papers – but they have no value —

LUKA. They’re papers just the same – and no papers are any good —

PEPEL. Baron – come on to the saloon with me —

THE BARON. I’m ready. Good-bye, old man – you old scamp —

LUKA. Maybe I am one, brother —

PEPEL [near doorway] Come on – come on!