Cloud Nine

‘No problem,’ Will said. He got out of the car, leaned against the door. He wore jeans and an old green sweater. The air was freezing cold, and he had to fight the urge to offer Alice the leather jacket he had thrown in the backseat.

‘Her asthma’s been terrible lately.’

‘Really?’

‘It’s completely psychosomatic. We all know that. She works herself into attacks just to interrupt whatever’s going on. I’m not blaming her, she’s been through a lot, but she needs to be the center of attention.’

‘I did when I was fifteen,’ Will said, smiling.

‘Like that ever stopped.’

Was she kidding? Will couldn’t tell. Her expression was stern, and she was staring at his boots. They were a pair of old Dunhams, the brown leather well worn and scuffed, recently resoled. He wondered if she remembered buying them for him their first winter in Fort Cromwell, five long years before.

‘I wanted to ask you about Thanksgiving,’ Will began.

Her head snapped up. ‘Thanksgiving? She stays with me. We have plans –’

‘Whoa,’ Will said, raising one hand. God, the smallest conversation became so tense, every point felt like a negotiation. He couldn’t help thinking of other years, when a conversation about Thanksgiving with Alice revolved around Fred being John Alden in the school play, Susan playing a Pilgrim girl, whose parents’ house they should go to, whether they should have mince or pumpkin pies or both for dinner.

‘You know she stays with me on holidays, Will. It was part of the agreement.’

‘Yes, I know. Relax, Alice. I was just asking.’

‘My God. Everything is such a damn battle,’ she said, folding her arms even tighter.

‘It’s no battle. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be out of town.’

‘Fine.’

‘Good.’

‘Where out of town?’ she asked, glancing up, some new emotion in her cornflower-blue eyes: worry? Will had heard about wives who ran out on their marriages, started whole new lives, then developed intense curiosity about their ex-husbands’ behavior. Was this what he was seeing in Alice? He somehow doubted it.

‘I have a charter to Maine. I thought you should know, in case her asthma gets really bad or she needs me for something else. You know?’

Alice nodded, her stern face back.

‘She’ll be okay,’ Will said. ‘Secret’s going to be fine.’

‘Secret? Jesus, Will!’ Alice exploded. ‘We named her Susan. You wanted to give her a name with strength, after someone she could look up to …’

‘Susan Mallory,’ he said, thinking of his grandmother.

‘My God. Don’t be indulging this “Secret” crap. It’s really unsettling, if you want to know how I feel about it. Julian thinks she needs more professional help.’

‘That’s a good sign that she doesn’t,’ Will said, feeling aggressively immature. ‘If Julian says she does. Didn’t you tell him we went through that when we first got to Fort Cromwell?’

‘Of course I did. He knows Dr Darrow.’ Splaying her fingers with frustration, Alice revealed some of her jewels: the largest diamond ring Will had ever seen, and a wedding ring-style band of diamonds and emeralds. Will exhaled slowly.

‘Hi!’ their daughter called, bursting through the front door with her knapsack, duffel bag, and a small package.

She stood there like a star who had just burst onstage: radiant smile, theatrical pose, boundless energy, arms open wide to greet her adoring public. Her parents were too upset to applaud or even smile, but Will tried. He gave a half-smile, holding out his left arm to embrace her as she ran through the snow.

‘Hi, Secret,’ he said.

‘Jesus,’ Alice muttered.

‘Hi, Dad. Can we drive through town? I have something I have to drop off for a friend.’

‘You bet,’ he said.

‘I’ll need a number for wherever you’re going on Thanksgiving,’ Alice said brusquely. ‘Just in case.’

‘You’re going somewhere for Thanksgiving?’ Secret said, jerking her head back from Will’s chest, looking up at him with worried eyes.

‘Just for work,’ he said.

‘You’re going to work on Thanksgiving?’

‘I’m flying the Fergusons’ friend Sarah Talbot to Maine.’

‘That’s who you’re taking?’ she asked with apparent amazement, staring at her small package.

‘Do you have your inhaler?’ Alice asked, pulling her away from Will for a hug. Seeing his ex-wife hold their daughter brought too much back for Will, and he had to look away. Glancing toward the carriage house, he saw Julian walking out with a man wearing a blue mechanic’s uniform. Time to go.

‘You ready, Secret?’ Will asked, hoisting her bags.

‘Please,’ Alice said. ‘I hate that name. You two can play make-believe when you’re alone, but when you’re around me, I can’t have it.’

‘You don’t have to call me Secret,’ she said. ‘I’m changing it. As of midnight last night, I’m Snow.’

‘Susan …’ Alice said dangerously.

‘Well, hello,’ Julian said, walking over. He had the tall, lean look of a man who worked out or ran a lot, with a stupid ponytail that looked idiotic with the lines on his face. He had to be fifty years old, Will thought. He wore an expensive suede jacket with his race car logo embroidered on the chest.

‘Hi, Julian,’ Will said, shaking his hand.

‘You know why I’m Snow?’ his daughter asked, her voice high and tense. ‘Because of Freddie. He adored winter, it was his favorite season.’

‘Susan, honey, stop …’ Alice said.

‘Sledding, skiing. Remember when we all went to Mt Tom? How much he loved it, he refused to stop all day, even for lunch, he skied and skied until the lifts stopped running and it was dark and we couldn’t find him?’

‘I can’t bear it,’ Alice said, her face bright red.

‘He taught me how to make angels in Newport. We lay in the snow at Trinity Church, looking out over the harbor, and we lay on our backs and spread our arms and legs and waved at the sky over and over until our prints were in the snow. Remember?’

‘I remember,’ Will said, gazing into her glittering eyes.