Revenge Wears Prada: The Devil Returns

‘Sure did. She divorced him two months later, and she was engaged again a year after that. Second wedding was a little smaller but just as pretty. I get it, though. It’s one thing to call off an engagement or even a wedding once the invitations are out – it’s hard, but it happens. But on the actual day? You’re walking, sister. Get yourself down that aisle and do whatever you have to do afterward, you know?’ Nina laughed and took a swill from her own water bottle. Her ponytail bobbed cheerily.

Andy nodded meekly. She and Emily talked about that all the time. In the almost three years since they’d launched The Plunge, they’d seen a handful of weddings called off in the final weeks before the big day. But on the actual day itself? Not one.

‘Come, let’s get you in the chair with the cape on so you’ll be ready for Lydia. She knows to tone down the makeup once they’re finished shooting the portraits. Oh, I’m just so excited to see this on the page! It’s going to sell a trillion copies.’

Nina was tactful enough not to say what they were both thinking: this wedding would sell a trillion copies not because Andy was a cofounder of the magazine she would be appearing in, or because Monique Lhuillier had personally designed Andy’s one-of-a-kind wedding gown, or because Barbara Harrison had expertly sourced the finest wedding planner, florists, and caterers money could buy, but because Max was the third-generation president and CEO of one of the most successful media companies in America. No matter that the economic downturn combined with some poor investment decisions meant Max had to sell off the family’s real estate piece by piece. That Max worried constantly about the financial viability of the company mattered very little to the general public: the Harrison family name, combined with good looks, impeccable manners, and impressive educations, helped maintain the illusion that Max, his sister, and his mother were worth far more than they were in reality. It had been years since they’d been named to Forbes’s richest-Americans list, but the perception remained.

‘It sure is,’ she heard a voice behind her sing. ‘This wedding is going to sell us right off the newsstands,’ Emily said with a twirl and a curtsy. ‘Do you realize this may be the first nonhideous bridesmaid dress in the history of wedding attendants? If you insist on bridesmaids – which I personally think are tacky to begin with – then at least these dresses aren’t terrible.’

Andy swiveled in her chair for a better look. With her hair swept up and her long, graceful neck on display, Emily looked like a gorgeous, delicate china doll. The plummy shade of the silk brought out the rosiness in her cheeks and accentuated her blue eyes; the fabric draped languidly across her chest and hips and flowed down to her ankles. Leave it to Emily to show her up on her own wedding day, and in a bridesmaid dress no less.

‘You look great, Em. I’m so glad you like the dress,’ Andy said, relieved for the momentary distraction.

‘Let’s not get carried away. “Like” is a little strong, but I don’t despise it. Wait, turn around, let me get a look at you … wow!’ She leaned in so close that Andy could catch a whiff of cigarettes layered with breath mints. Another wave of nausea instantly followed but it passed quickly. ‘You look fucking gorgeous. How on earth did you get your boobs to look like that? Did you get implants and not tell me? Are you kidding me, withholding information like that?’

‘It’s amazing what a good seamstress can do with a pair of chicken cutlets,’ Andy said.

Nina was shouting, ‘Don’t touch her!’ from across the room, but Emily was too fast. ‘Mmm, very nice. I especially like this fullness right here,’ she said, pressing Andy’s décolletage. ‘And this ridiculous rock you’re wearing against those killer boobs? Yummy. Max will like.’

‘Where’s the bride?’ Andy heard her mother call out from the suite’s living room. ‘Andy? Sweetheart? Jill and I are here with Grams and we all want to see you!’

Nina ushered in her mother, sister, and grandmother and administered various admonitions for everyone to give Andy enough space, saying that she was feeling a bit light-headed and please only stay for a moment, before she finally left to oversee some other last-minute detail.

‘What does she think this is, hospital visiting hours?’ Andy’s grandmother said. ‘What is it, dear, are you feeling a little nervous for your wedding night? That’s only natural. Remember, no one says you have to like it, but you do have to—’

‘Mom, can you stop her?’ Andy muttered, fingers to temples.

Mrs Sachs turned to her own mother. ‘Mother, please.’

‘What? All the kids think they’re experts today because they jump into the sack with anyone who glances in their direction?’

Emily clapped her hands in delight. Andy looked at her sister pleadingly.

‘Grams, doesn’t Andy look beautiful?’ Jill offered. ‘And how special that she’s wearing earrings similar to the ones you wore at your wedding? That teardrop shape never goes out of style.’

‘Nineteen years old, an innocent virgin when your grandfather married me, and I got pregnant on the honeymoon, just like everyone else. None of this freezing-your-eggs nonsense you girls have to resort to. Did you do that yet, Andrea? I read somewhere that all girls your age should freeze their eggs, man or not.’

Andy sighed. ‘I’m thirty-three, Grams. And Max is thirty-seven. Hopefully we’ll have children at some point, but I can tell you we’re not planning on starting tonight.’

‘Andy? Where is everyone?’

‘Lily? We’re back here! Come in,’ Andy called.

Her oldest friend swept into the room, looking lovely in the halter-style dress she’d chosen using the same plum silk as the other bridesmaid dresses. Next to her, in yet another style of the same fabric, stood Max’s younger sister, Elizabeth, who was in her late twenties. She and Max had the same general build, strong legs and wide shoulders, perhaps a touch too wide for a girl. But the crinkles around Eliza’s eyes when she laughed and her perfect smattering of freckles softened her look, feminized it. And the all-natural blond mane that cascaded down her back in thick, shiny waves was spectacular. Elizabeth had just started dating Holden ‘Tipper’ White, an old classmate from Colgate. They’d met at an annual charity tennis tournament in honor of his father, who’d flown his plane into a mountain in Chile when Tipper was twelve. Andy had a startling thought: Did Elizabeth think Andy wasn’t good enough for Max, too? Did she and her mother talk about it, sit around pining for Katherine, with her impressive golf handicap and lilting, aristocratic accent?

Her thoughts were interrupted by Nina.

‘Ladies? May I have your attention, please?’ Nina stood at the doorway, looking anxious. ‘It’s time to start assembling outside the great hall. The ceremony will begin in approximately ten minutes. My team members have your bouquets and will meet you downstairs to show you your places. Jill, your sons are ready?’

Andy forced a smile. Her mother, grandmother, and friends said good-bye, wished her luck, squeezed her hand. Too late now to say something to Jill or Lily, let them tell her she was overreacting.

The sun was close to setting, the October days growing shorter, and the dozen tall silver candelabras added exactly the drama Nina had promised. Andy knew that the seats were beginning to fill, and she imagined they were all enjoying the passed flutes of champagne and the soft harpsichord music that had been arranged for these exact preceremony moments by one of the myriad thoughtful planners.

‘Andy, sweetheart? I have something for you,’ Nina said, closing the distance between the door and Andy’s chair in three strides. She held out a piece of folded paper.

Andy took it and looked at her questioningly.

‘From before? When you got sick? I guess I stuck it in my pocket.’

Andy must have looked stricken, because Nina rushed to reassure her. ‘Don’t worry, I didn’t read it. It’s terrible luck for anyone but the bride or groom to read a love letter on the day of a wedding, did you know that?’

Andy felt a familiar roil in her stomach. ‘Will you give me a moment, please?’

‘Of course, dear. But just a moment! I’ll be back to escort you downstairs in—’ Andy closed the door on the rest of the sentence.

Andy unfolded the letter and moved her eyes once again over the words, although they had already been seared forever in her memory. Without thinking, she moved as quickly as she could in her dress toward the bathroom, where she neatly tore up the paper and tossed the pieces into the toilet.

‘Andy? Sweetheart, are you in there? Do you need any help? Please don’t try to use the bathroom yourself, not at this stage,’ Nina called through the door.

Andy stepped out of the bathroom. ‘Nina, I—’

‘Sorry, honey, it’s just that time, you know? Everything we’ve been planning for the last ten months, all perfectly executed for this very moment. Did I tell you I saw your groom? My goodness, he looks spectacular in that tuxedo. He’s already down the aisle, Andy! He’s right there waiting for you.’

Already down the aisle.

Andy felt like she couldn’t control her own legs as Nina guided her around the corner. There, beside the double doors, stood her beaming father.

He walked toward her and, taking her hand in his, kissed her cheek and told her how beautiful she looked. ‘Max is a very lucky guy,’ he said, holding out his left arm so she could link her arm through it.

The simple words almost unleashed a tsunami, but Andy managed to choke back the lump in her throat. Was Max ‘lucky’? Or was he, as his mother suggested, making a colossal mistake? Just one word to her father and he would make it all go away. How desperately she wanted to lean in and whisper, ‘Daddy, I don’t want to do this just yet,’ the way she did when she was five and he’d encouraged her to dive off the board into the deep end of the community pool. But as the music filled the space around her, she realized in an almost out-of-body way that the ushers had opened the double doors and the entire room had stood to greet her. Three hundred faces turned to look at her, smile at her, cheer her on.

‘You ready?’ her father whispered in her ear, his voice jarring her back to reality.

She took a deep breath. Max loves me, she thought. And I love him. They’d waited three years to marry at Andy’s insistence. So her mother-in-law didn’t like her. So her husband’s ex cast a long shadow. These things didn’t define their relationship, right?

Andy looked at her friends and family, colleagues and acquaintances, and, suppressing all doubts, focusing on Max’s smiling eyes as he stood so proudly down the aisle, she told herself everything was fine. She took a deep breath in through her nose, thrust her shoulders back, and once again told herself she was doing exactly the right thing. Then she began to walk.

4 (#ulink_eae2383f-386e-5af2-b6de-b847798b82d5)

and it’s official! (#ulink_eae2383f-386e-5af2-b6de-b847798b82d5)

The sound of the phone ringing woke her in the morning. She sat up with a start, once again unsure of where she was for just a moment, until it came to her in a jumbled rush. The faces beaming at her as she moved one leg in front of the other, slowly making her way down the aisle. The look of tenderness and adoration Max gave her as he reached to take her hand. The conflicted feeling of love and fear when his lips touched her own, sealing their union in front of everyone they knew. Posing for photos on the terrace while their guests enjoyed cocktail hour. The band announcing them as Mr and Mrs Maxwell Harrison. Their first dance to Van Morrison. Her mother’s tearful, heartfelt toast. Max’s fraternity buddies singing a bawdy yet charming rendition of their college fight song. Cutting the cake together. Slow-dancing with her father. Her nephews break-dancing to ‘Thriller’ while everyone cheered them on.

The evening had been picture-perfect from the outside, of that she was sure. No one, least of all her new husband, seemed to have any idea what Andy was going through: the thoughts of sorrow and anger; the confusion Andy felt when Barbara gritted her teeth through the least-personal let’s-wish-the-happy-couple-congratulations toast she’d ever heard spoken by the mother of a groom; the constant wondering if Miles and Max’s other friends knew something about Katherine and Bermuda that she didn’t. What now? she wondered. Do I bring it up? Jill, her parents, Emily, Lily, all her friends and family, all Max’s friends and family, had warmly congratulated her throughout the night, hugged her, admired her dress, told her she was a beautiful bride. Glowing. Lucky. Perfect. Even Max, the person who was supposed to understand her best in the world, seemed oblivious, giving her knowing looks all night, glances that said, I know, me too, isn’t this fun and perhaps a bit silly but let’s enjoy it because it’ll only happen once.

Finally, at one in the morning, the band stopped playing and the last of the guests picked up his elegant linen gift bag stuffed with local wine, honey, and nectarines. Andy followed Max to the bridal suite. He must have heard her retching in the bathroom, because he was doting and solicitous when she came out.

‘Poor baby,’ he crooned, stroking her flushed cheek, wonderful as always whenever she didn’t feel well. ‘Someone had too much champagne on her wedding night.’