The Cowboy's Easter Family Wish

She laughed, head thrown back, throat bare. It was the way Maddie should always laugh—full-bodied and freely expressing her emotions, Jesse thought. Not like that timid, fearful mouse he’d glimpsed a few moments ago.

“I don’t have many talents, but I can make a pretty good quilt,” she agreed with a cheeky grin, then quickly sobered. “Though some say that’s a pointless and dying art.”

“Since when is giving comfort pointless?” Jesse was angry that someone had so cruelly disparaged her gift. “When I was a kid I used to go with Gran to take her quilts to the cancer ward and to the homeless shelters. People loved her gifts because the quilts made them feel special and cherished, as if they mattered. That feeling is an amazing gift to give someone. It takes real talent. Cooking is just following directions.”

Jesse hadn’t meant to sound off, but when he noticed Maddie’s spine straighten he was glad he had, now certain of his original assessment that someone hadn’t properly valued this woman. He got caught up in speculating who that was, but his thoughts were interrupted by a call from the bedroom.

“Excuse me.” Maddie disappeared into Noah’s room with a smile, but when she emerged moments later her green eyes swirled with uneasiness.

“Everything okay with the Ark Man?” he asked.

“Noah’s fine.” Maddie frowned. “Why do you call him that?”

“Ark Man?” He shrugged. “Noah seems all about formalism, rules, that kind of thing. I’ve found—I used to find,” he corrected, “—that sometimes a nickname helps break through the mask most overly responsible kids wear. I can stop if you want.”

“Please don’t.” There was something about Maddie now—a tightness that echoed the tension on her pretty face. “Noah likes that nickname.”

Jesse couldn’t define the vibe he was getting, but that openness he’d so admired about her earlier had disappeared. He had the impression it had to do with him having been a minister—like her husband.

“Noah would like to speak to you for a minute.”

“Sure.” He walked toward the room Maddie indicated, and stepped inside, surprised by the plain simplicity of it. No superhero posters, no toys scattered around, no video games or computer. No distractions. Just one small bedside photo of a man with dark hair graying at the temples and a severe-looking face. Noah’s father, Jesse guessed. “Hey. Ready for bed, huh?”

“Yes.” Noah lay tucked in his bed, covered to his chin in a gorgeous gray quilt with puffy, silver-white clouds delicately dotting the surface. Somehow Jesse knew Maddie had made it. “Thank you for helping my mom and me make the treats, Jesse.”

“You’re very welcome. I hope you enjoy them.” Jesse could tell the boy wanted to ask something, so even though Maddie stood behind him, ready to escort him out, he waited.

“Sometime...” Noah paused, glanced at his mother, then let the words spill out. “If it’s not too much trouble, could you maybe show me your tent and campfire and—everything?”

“Sure.” There was such a longing in the boy’s request that Jesse couldn’t let it be. “We’ll make s’mores,” he promised.

“Some mores?” Noah frowned. “What’s that?”

“S’mores.” He grinned. “Did you like the I Have a Dream snacks?”

“Oh, yes.” Noah licked his lips with relish.

“Then you’ll like s’mores,” Jesse promised with a chuckle. “After I talk to the people at Wranglers and find out if I can get a job, I’ll check with your mom and we’ll set up a time for you to visit my campsite. Okay?”

“Thank you very much.” Noah’s eyes shone.

“You’re welcome. Good night, Ark Man.”

“Good night, PBX.” A sly smile lit his face.

“Pardon?” Jesse couldn’t figure out what the letters meant, but the boy wore a smug look. “What’s a PBX?”

“Peanut butter expert.” Noah grinned when Jesse laughed. Then he suddenly looked worried. “Is it okay?”

“It’s an excellent nickname. Thank you, Ark Man. Sleep well.”

Noah nodded, snuggled his head against the pillow and closed his eyes.

Jesse followed Maddie to the living room and sat in the chair she indicated, still chuckling.

“PBX. What a kid.” He caught her studying him. “By the way, if his quilt is an example of what you can create with mere fabric,” he said, “I’m in awe. Forget learning to cook. Your work is spectacular.”

“Thank you.” She actually blushed at the compliment. “It couldn’t be bright and colorful, so I did the next best thing. Noah seems to like it.”

“Why couldn’t it be bright?” Jesse was curious about her response. “Are colors against Noah’s rules?”

“No.” She gave him a quick glance, then shifted her gaze to somewhere beyond his shoulder. “Noah is autistic. Too many bright colors or vivid patterns create heightened stimulation and that stresses him. So I tried to make his room calm but still attractive, a place where he can rest, concentrate, be at peace.”

“Looks to me like you succeeded. With him, too. He’s a great kid.”

“Thank you.” Maddie twiddled her fingers together, then looked directly at him. “I guess you know a lot about kids, having been a youth pastor.”

“I don’t know as much as I should,” Jesse said bitterly, his joy in Noah’s excitement evaporating. If he was going to hang with her son, Maddie deserved to know the truth. “One of the kids in my group committed suicide and I’m to blame.”

“Why?” Her soft question wasn’t perfunctory. She leaned forward, her eyes wide with interest, as she waited for his response.

“Because I couldn’t stop him.” How it hurt to admit that.

“I don’t understand.” Maddie frowned. “Were you there at the time?”

“No. Scott was at home, in his room, when he took an overdose of pills.” Jesse gave the details clearly and concisely, his guilt burgeoning with each word. “His parents found him in the morning, lifelessly clutching a note that said he was being bullied and wanted to make it stop.” Waves of self-recrimination returned.

“Oh, no.” Her whisper of empathy helped him continue.

“I was Scott’s friend as well as his youth pastor. I saw him at least three times a week. I took him for a soda that very afternoon.” He shook his head. “Why didn’t I know? Why didn’t I see something?”

“I’m so sorry, Jesse.” Maddie’s sympathy brought him back to the present.

“Thanks. I had to tell you.”

“You did?” Her green gaze widened. “Why?”

“In case you don’t want me to be around Noah.” To his utter shock and dismay, Maddie began to laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“You.” She shook her head. “Jesse, do you have any idea how I’ve longed for my son to break free of his autism long enough to find joy in kid things?”

He shook his head.

“Only since he was diagnosed, when he was three,” she told him, her tone fierce. “Tonight, for the first time in eons, I watched Noah become engaged and interested, really interested, in something.”

“It was just candy.”

“Just candy?” Maddie chuckled. “Noah doesn’t eat candy. Ever. He only talks about candy, repeatedly reciting his father’s rule about its unhealthiness. Tonight, somehow, you got him to not only make candy but eat it and enjoy it. That’s huge.”