His Answered Prayer

“Ready and on the way to you by courier. Contractor says he’ll start digging right away. Got some materials coming in the first of next week.” Rich sounded very smug. “Pool should be ready right on time.”

Those words sent a shiver up his spine, but Gabe ignored it. He’d deal with the past one step at a time. He couldn’t ignore it any longer.

Gabe didn’t know how else to broach the subject so he asked it straight out. “Rich, what happens if I get married?”

Silence.

“Well, uh, I guess you get a wife. Why?” The tentative response verged on suspicion.

Gabe swallowed, then dove in. “Remember Blair?”

Guarded silence, then a whoosh of air. “Yeah, I remember. Had you tied up in knots for months after she left town. Why?”

“She’s here. It’s her grandfather who’s selling the land.”

“Uh-oh.” Papers rattled. “Why didn’t I know that?”

“I don’t know.” He waited a moment. “She’s raising my son, Rich.” Gabe was stunned at the measure of satisfaction and pride he felt in saying those words. Son. Child of mine.

“What!” Rich burst into a volley of questions, which he proceeded to answer himself. Then he trotted out a list of things Blair could do to lay claim to the company, which he could prevent by suing for custody. “I’ll have the papers to you in two days.”

“I don’t want to sue her for custody,” Gabe murmured as an idea grew, taking shape and form in his mind. “I think I want to get to know my son. His name is Daniel.”

“Daniel? Your father’s name.” Rich’s voice was sharp. “How did she find out?”

Gabe smiled. Rich had learned distrust the hard way. Gabe had taught him all about it every time the young lawyer handled another deal. Now the man was as paranoid as he. The thought was not comforting.

“I don’t know that she has found out anything. But that doesn’t matter right now. I just know that this kid thinks he needs a father, and I can’t turn my back on that. I remember what it was like too well.”

“I suppose you do.” Rich was silent for a long time. But when he finally spoke, his voice was filled with ominous warning. “Gabe, are you sure this child is yours?”

“Oh, yes. He’s mine. That is not in question. Besides, Blair wouldn’t lie.” Though, if he remembered correctly, Blair hadn’t told him anything about Daniel. His lips tightened. “So, buddy, how do I go about forcing her to let me get to know the boy?”

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Rich’s voice urged him to reconsider.

“I’m sure. His name will be Daniel Sloan, but he’s not going to have a childhood like mine. Not if I can help it.”

Rich appeared to accept this, for he offered no further objections. Instead his voice softened, bounding over the phone line with enthusiasm.

“I think you’ll make a great father, Gabe. And Blair always did worship the ground you walked on. If I remember correctly, she was ready to marry you. Why would she object to your presence now? I never did understand why she took off like that. You never said.” A pregnant pause offered the opportunity.

Gabe swallowed, but he wouldn’t lie to himself or his friend. He’d lived his life by dealing in cold, hard truth. He wouldn’t stop now.

“It was my fault, I demanded she sign that prenup when I knew deep down that she wouldn’t. I used her, Rich. I took her love and put my own conditions on it. And then I let her go as if it didn’t matter. Yeah, she loved me once. I don’t think that’s going to be an issue now. She might agree to marry me, if I pushed it, but it would only be for Daniel’s sake.”

He remembered her sad, mournful words when she’d phoned him the morning of their wedding day.

“I planned a white wedding in the church. My grandfather was going to walk me down the aisle. My great-aunt is bringing a big, showy cake. I was going to promise to love you forever. I was going to make sure we had lots of pictures so we could tell our children how happy we were.”

Gabe could still hear his caustic laugh. “Forever is in the movies, Blair. It doesn’t happen in real life. And I won’t be having any children. Not ever.” He let her hear the steel in his voice. “I’m not the father type. That part is nonnegotiable.”

She’d gone silent then. He could almost see her face pinch tightly. Her voice, when it came at last, was soft, broken, brimming with tears.

“Goodbye, Gabriel Sloan. I love you. I’m sorry you won’t believe that you’re capable of more than making money.”

“Gabe? Gabriel!” Rich’s worried tones kicked him to the present.

“I’m here.” He sighed. “I don’t think marriage is an option anymore, Rich.”

“Are you sure you don’t just want to sue for custody? Take the kid away. With your bankroll, you’d win hands down.”

Daniel’s bright, expectant face rolled into his mind’s eye. Gabriel shook his head.

“Daniel’s lived with her for over five years,” he whispered. “She loves him and he loves her. I won’t destroy that.” I just want to stay on the edges, feel the warmth, understand what makes a family.

“Up to you, buddy. Okay then, if you’re determined to get close to the kid, I guess the surest way is to threaten custody. If she’s as good a mother as you think, she’d marry you rather than lose her kid.”

Gabe laughed, but there was nothing amusing in the thought. “I don’t think she’d ever marry me, Rich. And I sure can’t marry her. You of all people know I’m not a family kind of man.” He swallowed hard. “Six, almost seven years, but, after all, what’s really changed?”

“Then you bluff. Threaten everything you can think of. I know you, Sloan. You’ll think of something to make her see you’re better suited to raising the kid than her.”

Gabe hung up with the advice still ringing in his ears.

But you’re not better suited, not at all. It’s just another lie you let people believe, his conscience reminded him. You couldn’t possibly take that boy from the one person who loves him more than life. You have nothing to offer him. At least, nothing that really matters.

“What do I know about being a father?” he whispered, worry overtaking his brain. “How can I be sure that I won’t do something wrong? That I won’t scar him or cause something that will make him unhappy years down the road, after I’m gone?”

It was a prospect he had to deal with. He knew how easily that could happen. His father hadn’t wanted to leave his son the memories he carried. At least, Gabe told himself that, hoping it was true. But Daniel, Sr., hadn’t been able to accept the son he’d fathered, either. Gabe simply didn’t fit the baseball and fishing mold his father had set.

In fact, Gabe hated sports. All he’d ever wanted was to create things, to build things. To use his brain. Being sent to his room in punishment had provided hours of solitude to do just that.

“I won’t force Daniel to be a replica of me,” he assured his tired brain. “He doesn’t have to like computers. If he wants to fish, I’ll fish. I can learn that stuff. The company’s okay, now. I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need. I owe it to myself to take some time off—to see if Blair and I can make a go of it.” He thought about Mac’s letter. Why had it arrived when it had? Was God giving him a second chance?

“I owe it to him to do better than my dad did for me.”

Which shouldn’t be hard, given the past.

You owe him love.

That word sent a shiver of worry through his brain. Love? Gabe didn’t think he had it in him. Not the kind of love the songs were about, the kind of love he’d read about in stories and poems. Certainly not the emotion that required you to give away everything you valued for the sake of someone else, the kind of love that made you vulnerable and weak, prey to others.

“He doesn’t need to see that part of me,” Gabe told himself. “He’ll never know about that. I’ll make sure of it.”

But as he lay in his hotel room thinking about a black-haired little boy and his too solemn mother, Gabe wondered how he’d keep that shriveled-up, scared part of himself locked away when he’d spent such a large part of his life wondering where the next con to get his money would come from.

“One day at a time,” he reminded himself. “With God’s help, I’ll face this one day at a time. That’s what Pastor Jake said on Sunday.”

Surely if you kept your eyes on the future, you couldn’t get caught up in the past?