Accidental Dad

“They wanted things finalized.” Would he ever forget that horrific phone call?

“I see.” Kelly paused, blinked away the moisture in her eyes then asked, “But there’s no issue with you adopting the twins, right?” She frowned when he didn’t answer and touched his sleeve. “Sam?”

“Since the adoption decree wasn’t registered before Jake’s and Marina’s deaths, Children’s Services has applied to the court to regain custody citing concerns that Sadie and Emma no longer have parents or a proper home.” He cleared his throat. “Since I went through the foster parent training classes with Jake and Marina, Abby begged the judge to let the girls stay with me at the ranch while I apply to adopt them. Abby thought you and I being named as guardians of the three children might influence his decision.”

“I understand them naming you.” Kelly’s dismay was the last thing Sam wanted to hear. “But why me?”

“Because you’re Marina’s sister, and because they knew neither of our parents are well enough to care for three active kids.” Sam inhaled, hoping she’d understand. “It’s up to you and me to keep this family together, Kelly.”

“But I know nothing about kids,” she protested, obviously taken aback. “And I can’t be their guardian for long. I have a job I have to return to.”

“When I was trying to locate you, the cruise line told me you’re going on leave for six months.” Irritated that she considered her job as a port consultant more important than her family, Sam blurted, “Are you willing to see your sister’s children raised by someone else?”

“No, but you don’t understand.” Poor Kelly looked confused and lost.

Sam’s heart ached for her. Part of him wanted to gather her in his arms and comfort her. He knew the loss of Jake and Marina had hit Kelly as hard as it had him, maybe harder, because she hadn’t seen her twin in so long. But the other part of Sam wanted to demand Kelly stop holding her grudge or whatever it was that had kept her away all these years and act like part of the family. Because she was.

He hadn’t expected Kelly’s refusal but perhaps he should have. Marina had told him how hard Kelly had worked to move up in the industry. He’d known Marina occasionally sent Kelly newsy emails about her life, their parents and her growing family. He’d admired his sister-in-law for trying to include Kelly as part of the family, for trying to build a bridge. But other than sending a Christmas package every year, Kelly had stayed away and maintained only sporadic contact.

At this moment, though, Sam didn’t care that Kelly had left home the night of Jake and Marina’s wedding, nor did it matter to him what had kept her away all this time. All he knew was that he desperately needed her help to keep his family together.

“Don’t you see?” Sam asked. “Both our parents are living at the ranch because they can’t manage on their own. My dad had another heart attack, your dad has Alzheimer’s, the kids need stability and someone has to run the ranch to support everyone. I daren’t let any one of those balls drop, or we’ll be in trouble.”

“I know it hasn’t been easy, Sam. You’ve done a great job.” Kelly smiled sadly. “Thank you for caring for my parents and the kids.”

“I managed,” he said, irritated that she didn’t yet seem to get it. “But we have to do more than that if the twins are to stay. The ranch is the kids’ future, the legacy Jake wanted to leave them. I can’t let my brother down. I won’t let the ranch or the twins go without a fight.” He stared into her eyes and laid out his case. “It’s up to you and me to keep the family together, Kelly. That’s what Jake and Marina wanted. That’s why they named us guardians.”

Kelly remained silent for a long time, studying him with her teary brown eyes, confused and heartrendingly sad. Finally, she murmured, “Sam?”

“Yes?” He knew she was going to ask something important because of the way she stared at him, ready to assess his response. He knew this answer mattered a lot to her from the way she bit her bottom lip and how her hands fiddled with her cup. “What is it, Kelly?”

“Was Marina happy?” Her voice cracked, a world of sorrow, guilt and heartache underneath the words.

At least that question was easily answered. He nodded. “Marina and Jake were very happy,” he assured her.

“I’m glad,” she whispered. Then her control shattered, and she wept her heart out.

And that was when Sam did what his head told him not to. He got up from his chair, walked to hers and gently eased Kelly into his arms. Ignoring the sudden rush of his heartbeat, he drew her close and brushed a hand against her hair, offering the only thing he had to give—comfort. He couldn’t pray, couldn’t ask God to make it better. God had let his brother die, just like Naomi.

All Jake could do was hope his support would help lovely Kelly Krause surmount her grief enough to help him rebuild their family.

* * *

For the first time in years Kelly relaxed her rigid control on her life and let Sam support her as she cried for the sister she hadn’t seen in years. Why had she let her mother keep her away so long? Why had she let her embarrassment over a crush on Jake that was almost ten years old and her mother’s cruel words and harsh judgments drive a wedge between her and her twin?

As Sam held her, Kelly felt an old stirring rise inside. The strength in his embrace comforted her. His compassion as he led her away from the eatery and to an upholstered bench also rekindled a long-suppressed yearning inside to belong to someone, to be cherished. But that was silly. Sam was just a friend, a brother-in-law who was trying to help her cope. She couldn’t let herself imagine there was more than kindness in his actions.

He eased her onto the bench and sat down beside her. His arm across her shoulders felt right, like a kind of bond that drew them together. Finally, she managed to smile at him.

“Sorry,” Kelly apologized. “It hits me that she’s gone and I won’t ever see her again, and that’s when the tears start.”

“I know.” He handed her a fresh tissue and waited while she dried her eyes.

“How do you handle it?” she asked, curious about his steely strength. Like her, he had lost a twin, a brother whom she knew he loved.

“There’s so much to do. I focus on juggling things to keep everyone else going,” Sam told her, his voice bald with pain.

“Sam the Fixerator.” Kelly smiled at the moniker, remembering the fondness in Marina’s voice when she’d first introduced him with that title. “Still trying to fix things, Sam?” A second later she wished she could retract the words. He couldn’t fix this. No one could.

“It’s all I know to do.” Sam shrugged then checked his watch. “If you’re ready, we should get on the road.”

When Kelly didn’t immediately respond, he touched her hand. A zap of awareness tingled up her arm at the contact. Why was it that Sam had this strange effect on her? She drew away then slowly rose and took her backpack from him.

“I’m sure there are many things to do.” Her breath caught, but she pushed through the pain. “When are the funerals?”

“We were waiting for you,” he said quietly. “We can start planning now that you’re home.”

Home? Kelly had never been to Triple D Ranch, and yet she found the thought of staying where Marina had found such joy oddly attractive. She hadn’t had her own place in so long. Her parents were staying on the Triple D, too. Would Marina’s ranch house be the place where she and her mom could finally move beyond their bitter past? Could she really come home?

Only, Kelly knew, if she could get rid of the guilt, guilt that, if her mother knew she felt, would use to condemn her, as she’d so often done in the past. Not that her mother would have to say a word. Inside Kelly’s head, a voice reminded, Your sister, your twin, is dead, and you never told her you loved her. You never said goodbye.

“Time to leave, Kelly.” Sam’s quiet voice stirred her from her misery. His gaze scanned her from head to foot. “You need a warmer jacket. I’ll buy one from that store over there.”

“I already have one.” Kelly unzipped her backpack and pulled out the quilted coat she’d often worn to ski in the Alps. He held it so she could slide her arms into it, and again feelings of being cared for, cherished, welled up. “I’ll be fine. Let’s go,” she said, anxious to escape his touch and her strange reactions to it.

Sam studied her coat with a dubious glance but nodded, and they left the airport.

They fought their way through the icy wind racing across the parkade to his truck.

“I should have said it before. I’m so sorry about Jake.”

“I know.” For a moment, steady, organized Sam looked utterly bereft.

In that instant Kelly noticed the few silver hairs in his sideburns and the tiny fan of lines around his green eyes that hadn’t been there when she’d last seen him. Ten years ago Sam had been a very handsome man, and time hadn’t changed that. But grief had stolen what she’d privately labeled his “cowboy” smile, a lopsided twist of his lips she’d never seen copied. Still, Kelly thought she saw a hint of it now in his soft smile.

“Inside the truck, Kelly,” he insisted. “Don’t think I can’t see that you’re freezing in that coat.”

She climbed inside gratefully, huddling in her jacket while trying to hide just how chilled she felt. Sam slammed her door shut, hurried around to the other side and got in the driver’s seat. Though he’d started the truck remotely, it hadn’t yet warmed. The chill, combined with her apprehension at the upcoming meeting with her mother, made Kelly frown.

Sam studied her as if trying to read her mind. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” She forced a smile. “I was wondering how long the ride will take.”

“I forgot you’ve never been to the Triple D. Forty-five minutes or so. Mom will be feeding the kids lunch soon, and then Jacob Samuel will go down for his nap.” His voice dropped as he drove out of the city. “I hope she gets a chance to relax and enjoy a cup of coffee.”

“She’s not well?” Kelly asked, barely remembering Jake’s parents as a cheerful couple at Marina’s wedding.

“She’s worn out from caring for Dad and the twins and Jacob Samuel,” he said, a deep fondness lacing his words. “Mom tries to do everything.”